At the time, I was a poor student of 28, really lonely. I had a history of short relationships. I found a stable family environment with him (divorced living w one son, who is now 19). His hope was that I would get a great job and we would have money someday. He's a poor immigrant, w/ many friends and family. I am a loner. I asked him to move to another state with me because he had all my stuff, and I didnt have the money or heart to make the break. I see now I was wrong, but we lived together for 4 years in the new state, with his son. More arguments though, and no sex. He is really counting on me to help him out when he is old (he's now 50) as he helped me when I was younger. Now 40, I am living apart from him in another state now for the last 2 years, but he still is planning for our living out our lives together later on. I date other people but have hard time keeping relationships, partly out of guilt. I want someone new, but I fear being alone. Help!
2006-06-20 02:44:32 · 15 answers · asked by rosebud 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Be honest with him...its only fair...
2006-06-20 02:47:21 · answer #1 · answered by skibumm0574 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find this to be odd because I've never heard of a man in such a situation being so unselfish and his reward being totally the opposite...at least you have some guilt...I was beginning to think you may not have a heart...I would in all fairness, would suggest that a deal is a deal, an understanding is an understanding...he accepted you when you had nothing, welcomed you into his family as poor financially as it may have been, he provided what you needed to be where you are at today, although he isn't really that much older than you, I say your obligated to provide financially what he provided socially for the next ten years to suffice his expectations for welcoming you into his family..you should contribute to this family for equal amount of time that they contributed to you..do so and your guilt will relieve itself and your self esteem will return 10 fold...good luck...make the fair decision on your own.
2006-06-20 03:11:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is nice that you feel some compassion for him but really if neither of you are happy and really it does not sound like either of you are then it is best that both of you move on. Getting back together will only cause the pain to keep happening over and over again because in time you will decide to leave again. Let the wound heal and give each other the chance to maybe find some happiness
2006-06-20 02:49:48 · answer #3 · answered by snoopy22564 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For your own self esteem be good to the guy.- It's easy; on a daily basis I imagine being a wonderful husband, a loving father, and someone who wants the best for society.- Einstein: 'imagination is more powerful than knowledge'. Now I'm perfectly well aware that by imagining this that I'm transforming my self into someone who thinks of others more than himself, but so what? the smile on their faces lights up my world.
Do what's right by the guy and stick by him. We just don't need the emotional fallout from knowing we didn't do the right thing. We're better than that.
2006-06-20 03:19:47 · answer #4 · answered by welcome_to_how_things_will_be 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with him and honest with yourself. He is counting on you to return the favour, perhaps consider what other ways you can assist him ie small amounts of money etc to help him thru. You owe yourself a life as well and at 50 he isnt too old for a life of happiness himself.
2006-06-20 02:51:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's depressing, and hardly fair to this so-called hardworking guy. Be honest, isn't it about time you fess up and let the guy move on in his own life? Geez.
Good luck, T
2006-06-20 03:54:42 · answer #6 · answered by tula_p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't need to be together to help him! be honest with him and rebuild your relationship as friends! and then you can have your freedom but still be there for someone that was there for you! it takes time but it will work in the long run!!! good luck!
2006-06-20 02:55:27 · answer #7 · answered by carpenter2929 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey he should have left......You lead him on by taking him to another state with you too far in now you have to tell him and break his heart now what his son will care for him?you need to let him know
2006-06-20 02:49:38 · answer #8 · answered by Jenna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty really is the best policy. You need to tell this guy the TRUTH! He needs to have the opportunity to find someone new, who will want him for himself.
2006-06-20 02:51:32 · answer #9 · answered by Mamadog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
selfish biatch. i hope u fall flat on ur azz and have nowhere to turn to. u r a user and only think of yourself. i hope u rot in hell u selfish biatch.
i know im harsh but i hate people like you that uses people for ur own selfishness.
2006-06-20 02:52:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You owe that guy something. He worked all those years for you and didn't ask for anything. Reverse the situation?
2006-06-20 02:47:29 · answer #11 · answered by Snuffy Smith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋