We both want a divorce and want to do the paper work our selfs,and seperate all the stuff our selfs,and povide for our kids the same, but do we have to go to court to do it, we don't have much,and both of us work,and willing to always help each other with the kids,and share in the care and up bringing of them and share cositudy with them, So do we have to still go to court or can we do this with out the courts? Please help us to make this easy on our kids, thats why we want to stay friends,and still be a family and do whats best for them not us.
2006-06-20 02:37:22 · 13 answers · asked by little 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it depends on your state's laws, but most of the time if there are children involved the court will need to have some oversight, one of you has to file a petition against the other for divorce, you can usually find forms specific to your state on the internet for a fee
you can fill these out, have whoever the defendant is going to be, formally served by an officer, and then wait for whatever period your state mandates to end, it is usually six months but in nevada and a few other states you can get divorced pretty quickly
anyhow, you also will need to draw up a proposed custody and child support arrangement between the two of you, most courts can allow you to reserve this issue, that is, you can put the matter off until it becomes a problem
if you and your ex never have a problem and both of you are happy with the custody and support arrangements, you are likely to be able to never have to go back to court
a word of caution, this all might seem well and good, but in 99% of cases, sooner or later, tension will arise and you will find yourself in front of a judge, whatever you agree to now will come back to haunt you later, so be careful
the short answer to your question is, yes you can do it yourself amicably, but you will still need a judge's approval at the end of the process and one or both of you may be required to testify in open court just to say "yes i want a divorce, yes we no longer live together, and yes its been six months since we've shared a residence"
hope this helps
2006-06-20 02:47:27 · answer #1 · answered by whoisgod71 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and No - both of you should come to a decision about all property, write this down, make sure nothing has been overlooked. Their are divorce mediators to assist in this process. Then go to see a lawyer as a couple to have everything drawn up. The lawyer, which will only represent one of you, will take this to court - however, be warned. With children involved the judge may ask for hearing to insure that their well-being is being taken care of first and foremost.
You say 'Please help us to make this easy on our kids' followed by 'do whats best for them not us'. Really? Honestly, if this is your motivation, then stay with your spouse, attend counseling, and make it through the next 10-20 years. After the kids are grown and out of the house, if you still wish to seperate, then do so. Divorce, no matter how friendly, has a profound impact on a child's life. Just the fact that mom and dad no longer love each other can rattle the foundations of a child. As adults, we can better handle and understand this situation; as a child (even a teenager and college student), their parents are their world.
Please consider this option. If you can't do this, then be honest with yourself. You do not have the child's best interests at heart - you have your own.
2006-06-20 02:53:23 · answer #2 · answered by Michael G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to go to court to make it legal. You must have your paper work in order, in legal format, and present your case to the judge and declare why you want a divorce. In other words you are acting as your own lawyer, you are representing yourself. I hope you have not left any loose ends, like child support. If you are sharing custody, who will be the primary custodial parent? Down the road if one of you have second thoughts about the situation, where will this leave the other one. Time changes everything and what you are both agreeing to right now might change down the road. That's why you really need a lawyer. I made the mistake of not having a lawyer, because we agreed on everything but problems popped up down the road. Also, you will have to pay court costs and filing fees. Ain't nothing free!
2006-06-20 03:28:32 · answer #3 · answered by thegemini777 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My second husband and I filed a no contest divorce ourselves. The courts in Georgia ask that one party be present when the judge signs the papers just in case he has any questions. However since you have children together he would probably want to hear from the both of you that you agree on the divorce papers. This is the cheapest and best way for any divorce to be handled IF both parties can agree. Good luck to you!
2006-06-20 03:08:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just went through a divorce myself the same way. Depending on the state you live in you can prepare your divorce and submit it to the courthouse. One of you will have to appear on the court date to show agreement. The judge will have the final decision. When I got divorced, we agreed to a week on, week off visitation schedule and according to my ex husbands attorney (I did not have one) there were 2 out of the 8 judges that wouldn't approve it. It depends on who you get but you can write up an agreement the way you guys see fit and usually as long as it's agree'd with the parties and the visitation schedule is good for the kids there shouldn't be a problem.
2006-06-20 03:30:09 · answer #5 · answered by renegadescwgrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u dont want a lawyer then u dont need to get one. But u will still need to go to court to get the divorce finalized i have done it twice on our own plus just a little advice just because right now u both agree trust me in time someone will be seeing someone else and one of u will not like it and it can cause problems so if u do not put it all on paper to cover your *** in the future u will end up screwed later on. Good luck.
2006-06-20 02:45:59 · answer #6 · answered by hubbys2ndbest2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don,t say where your from but if your in the UK no you don't have to go to court as long as your agreed on everything ,you can get all the paperwork off the net for a fee which will save 100's of pounds and you don't need a solicitor ,if your from the states i would assume the same applies ,GOOD LUCK
2006-06-20 03:00:38 · answer #7 · answered by okayalder62 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you can let your Lawyers go for you..But that depends on the Laws of were you Live.
The children and property can be handle separately. These matters are best done Legally. That way every one knows what expected of them. Who pays for what and how long. Keeps down fighting, when you two don't feel so guilty anymore, and you have your new family's and new loves in your lives etc...
And remember that's how you feel today once you two meet someone else Life is going to change...
2006-06-20 03:08:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually talk to your lawyer. There are various ways to do this. I did it using the Edicts in the newspaper, sinc emy ex was at a different location and I was only in court for 10 minutes, just once. My son was not involved at all. Good luck!
2006-06-20 02:41:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A divorce still has to be signed off by a judge. This is not a trial, by any means, and if you are amicable, it's just a formality. But it is the dissolution of a contract and needs to be signed off by a judge.
2006-06-20 02:51:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋