My 21 year old son's girlfriend just broke up with him. He is completely shattered. What can I say to him? I really liked his girlfriend. I kind of hoped they would get married someday. But she says she just doesn't feel the same way my son does. What can I say to him to make him feel better? I tried the "More fish in the sea" thing but he didn't take much comfort in that.
2006-06-20 02:35:28 · 16 answers · asked by Mamadog 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hello mamadog,
its a tough one.
few tricks
- friends helps a lot in these situations.
- identify the moments in which he is happy or can get happier.
- load with him with some kinda responsibility (towards career, family, etc.,)
tell him that you are lucky to have FOUND LOVE in life. Ask him to hang on with the feelings, go down to his level of pain, feel it and tell him that if you would have been in his place, you would have done drastic, but you are a good brave boy.
Cheers,
Gyaan Guru
2006-06-20 07:01:27 · answer #1 · answered by Gyaan Guru 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Hugs , non verbals are probably better than verbals right now because as a mum you are not going to say the right thing anyway you try. When he speaks about it listen and ofer non judgmental advice and dont tell him you understand because you been there etc no one likes that advice and all think their issues are unique and in some way they are. Keep an eye out for the depression and get him help if it gets too bad. Also watch out for radical behaviour ie binge drinking or drug use as a means of dealing with his grief. Not saying that he will go that way but it always good to be alert to changes in behaviour. Dont harp on your loss of a future daughter in law he does not need to feel that he has also let you down. No way of making him deal with his grief any quicker it is a process he has to work thru. Hard as it is to watch him suffer there isnt much you can do but be there for him which I am sure you already are. No one said motherhood got easier in time, speak to friends re your concerns, you too need support watching him go through this stage in his life.
2006-06-20 09:44:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walk into his room and tell him to stop being a cry baby.
Tell him he is 21 and a grown man. In life, sooner or later, he will fall a woman that he cannot have. He has to learn accept that. It's the bad that comes with the good. He can't force the girl to come back to him. The best he can do is try to convince her.
Tell him to let go. It's his only salvation. Afterall, he wouldn't want to end up with a woman that didn't love him as he did her. It is better he was miserable for a short while, than be miserable for the rest of his life.
In retrospect, it may perhaps be better if it was his father that gave him this particular speech.
2006-06-20 10:14:58 · answer #3 · answered by Cain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let him know you are there for him and that you wish you could take his pain away but the only thing that is going to help is "time" -- my son would be in bad shape if his girl broke up with him too. ALL YOU CAN DO is be there for him - watch him and make sure he doesn't fall too low. I know it is hard to tell. If he starts to get too low, get him to a counselor so he can "let it out" with someone not involved in his life right now. It might help.
2006-06-20 09:40:55 · answer #4 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a healthy life is going to include some heartaches. if you don't have hurts or regrets then you are not living life. you must make memories that will last a lifetime, and this is just part of the experience. you will never say that you wished that this relationship never happened, you are glad that it did and had a chance to really love someone. this is also a learning experience for the next love that will fall into place. so, keep loving and don't hold back anything. love deep and your life will be full of wonderful memories.
2006-06-20 09:43:25 · answer #5 · answered by TKO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is going thru a difficult time in his life. He probably wants to be left alone. Just stay out of it. Yes you are his mother, but he is a grown man. He can solve his own problems. All that he needs to know is that you are there for him when he needs you. So you told him that he will find another love, yes.. But dont offer any advice or say anything unless he asks.
2006-06-20 09:42:10 · answer #6 · answered by ~beautiful mystery~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is one more story about the bird if you let it go and its fly back then its truly your its better to find out now then later committed is a big word along with mature he need to show his girlfriend that he can handled this women love to be chase give her time i know how he feel we all want to pour out our heart we must be Wise its took me year to under stand one day at a time good luck the joker
2006-06-20 09:57:05 · answer #7 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is, to let him know you are there for him. It doesn't help now, but as we all know that have been there , time does heal our heartbreaks. It makes us better people and wiser. Best wishes to you and your son. He is fortunate to have a mother like you.
2006-06-20 10:08:10 · answer #8 · answered by Pammie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is reassure him that he is a great guy and he will meet someone who will appreciate that. Try to keep him involved with his friends and family. Don't let him sulk and avoid any personal interaction this just adds to the pain.
2006-06-20 09:38:46 · answer #9 · answered by shae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the best thing to say is absolutely nothing. Just be there. Watch him. Try to anticipate his next reaction and be ready to respond appropriately. Just be there for him.
2006-06-20 09:40:47 · answer #10 · answered by bubb1e_gir1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋