my friend is having an affair?

Question

pleas help me? my friend is 20, she has 2 children & has only been married to the father for 4 months, she is now having an affiar with another freinds boyfriend they also have a child together but my friend says that she loves both of them. What shall i advise her to do

Answer 1

I'm not surprised that your friend is having this problem.
She's just TOO YOUNG to handle the responsibility of 2 kids and a husband at 20 years -an age when most girls are thinking of who to date and what colour of nail varnish to wear.
lt's a pity,but having made her bed,she has to lie on it and not create new problems for herself.
Continue to be a good friend and hope for the best!

Answer 2

I can't tell u what to do, only what I personally think I'd do, which is be straight with her & encourage her very strongly & firmly 2 make a decision - preferably 2 stay with the father of her kids. Whatever the issue with her husband, she should work at it 2 make her marriage work, & stop being selfish with this other bloke - it's SO damaging & hurtful. Particularly as a mother, she really must grow up, be responsible, & put her children first.

Answer 3

You be there for her no matter what but at the same time be honest with her and tell her what she is doing is wrong. She is a mother and needs to act responsible. As much as loving someone and letting them go, she needs to think about her children and the possibly of divorce. What means more to her?

Answer 4

well this happened in my family my mom cheated on my dad w/ her janitor (haha still cnt get ovr it) after 17yrs of marrige they tried 2 resolve the problem again and again and after a while when my mom is still going out w/ tht guy and she sends my dad messages all the time saying tht she wants 2 go away w/ him but he told her tht he couldnt after all shes done and she is still w/ tht guy. so tell her 2 decide while its still early 2 think about now really think about it, if shes willing 2 giv up her family for a fling. ask her if she really wants her kids 2 suffer the decision she makes and is she wants 2 break up the family 4 something tht might not last 4evr

Answer 5

She is a married woman and needs to stay with her husband or simply leave him. Then, she does not need to be having an affair with another guy whom is all ready taken. She really needs to go to counseling and decide what she wants b/c she can not "love" both of them or she would not be doing them this way.

Answer 6

I am sorry but you can not advise her to do anything you can only be there for her when you know what hits the fan you know its going to if you get involved you will be the one that will be blamed by every one I know I have been in the same situation so I know what I am on about sorry to be blunt but that the way it is

Answer 7

Are you sure your friend isn't you? You are 20 and have 2 kids, and are married... Either way, "your friend" should stop the affair immediately and spend more time on "her" own marriage to make it work.

Answer 8

Don't advise her to do anything - tell her she will have to make her own mind up. She will only blame you if it all blows up in her face. Seems to me she should never have got married in the first place and she probably only did it for the security.

Answer 9

I agree with DebbieJ - don't support your friend with regards to this affair. Tell her you won't lie for her. You'd be betraying your other friend and condoning what's she's doing.

If your going to advise her, just remind her of the vows she took, and the two children who will be upset by this when it all comes out - because murder don't hide!

Answer 10

To join a free love Hippy/ Raellian commune.