My husband recently lost his job. He was unhappy there. He decided to pursue his dream of building computers. I encouraged him focus on that instead of getting a crappy job as a temp thing so he would be able to dedicate himself to finding this job. Here's the kicker. He has a criminal record and its coming back to haunt him. He was rejected for several different positions. In fact he got a job with IBM and the day before he was supposed to start they called and said they didn't need him due to his record. Now HE has to deal with his record is starting to get depressed. Last night he told me he was giving up & no one was going to hire him. He wanted to help support me and get a crap job. I told him that if he wanted to get a part time job to help out might not be a bad idea. But not to give up looking for a job he wanted to do. He said no. Now I want to be a supportive wife. I'm willing to wait it out so he can be happy. How do I encourage him to not give up?
2006-06-20 02:27:07 · 8 answers · asked by bubb1e_gir1 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's only been at this for less then two months. He has applied at various places all involving computers, not just building computers. Unfortunately he doesn't deal with rejection well.
2006-06-20 02:27:59 · update #1
No he has two felonies on his record. Those are his mistakes and he has to deal with the consequences. (It doesn't help that he sees those consequences now affecting me) But that's not the question here. The question is how do I encourage him now...not please persecute my husband for his past.
2006-06-20 02:36:40 · update #2
Good grief. Thank you for all your answers, but please read the question. Building computers is just that. Finding the parts, screwing them together, and physically building and designing computers. He can't start his own business right now. We don't have the capital to do that. Or the facilities. The question is not help me find him a job. How do I encourage him not to give up on looking for a job?
2006-06-20 03:03:09 · update #3
Maybe on some level he still feels guilty about what happened, and so it's easier for him to continue accepting punishment for it. Maybe somewhere deep down he feels he doesn't deserve a job. No one wants to have something bad continuously brought up. Help him see that these two felonies do not define who he is as a person. Remind him of how much he does to support you. Tell him this story. My husband's brother was a wild child when he was younger. Two felonies with drugs and bad checks in Australia. But, they are dual citizens and are American too. His brother really needed to leave Australia and his bad friends, so he went to America and joined the navy. They did a background check, but his record didn't come up right away because it happened in Australia. Then, he got a promotion that required a higher level security clearance, and they caught the Australian felonies. Believe it or not, against all odds, he was not discharged! They worked it out with him, and he was able to convince him that he'd changed and he got the security clearance he needed. So, you see, you will find a way! Maybe you could buy him some sessions with a career coach to help him learn how best to deal with it.
2006-06-20 03:26:51 · answer #1 · answered by ungirl 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Happiness is more important than money, if the new job means he will be spending a lot less time home that means a lot less quality time with the kids which is essential to their growth, happiness, security, confidence, etc. If you guys are making ends meet now then just bare with it a little longer til you get your degree and work while kids are at school, then you guys would be fine financially. Also, you and him will grow distant too if he accepts the job. 20 yrs from now you will not miss the money but you/he will miss the priceless moments he should have spent with the kids. edit: Well HIS family is not married to him! How dare they interfere, just because they don't know the meaning of happiness doesn't mean that should decide your guys' destiny! YOU two decide what is best for you and your family! You will be making money in a year. Oh and btw, the move would hold YOU and your education back, doesn't that count or only he is important to his family?
2016-05-20 04:34:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what you mean by "building computers". You mean as in engineering design, that is what he'd do for IBM or another big corporation that would care about his record. If you mean assembling parts into a working PC, then he can easily start his own business. I wonder is he a computer whiz such that this within the realm of possibilities, or is he just dreaming? Maybe time for a reality check about what he can really do with the limitations of his past.
2006-06-20 02:50:52 · answer #3 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he should start his own consulting firm. There usually aren't as many check on background as a consultant due to the short term nature of the assignments. He would be his own boss and not have to worry as much about his history. the Internet is filled with firms looking for consultants to do short term work in many areas of IT that your husband might be comfortable with. Good Luck.
2006-06-20 02:56:19 · answer #4 · answered by rilindy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it has been a long time since he has been in trouble I personally would call a lawyer and check into the lawyer getting his record exphunged(bad spelling lol) and if that is successful then his record will be clean and no more problems. Good luck.
2006-06-20 02:55:25 · answer #5 · answered by hubbys2ndbest2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think any real big companies will hire him with a felony. I believe he should start his own business if that possible. and a crap job is better then no job. and in any job you will find some kind of unhappiness.
2006-06-20 02:44:25 · answer #6 · answered by ☺stacy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are ways of erasing criminal records... It will cost $$$ to do it, but it can be done. LEGALLY
IBM owners should be put in jail themselves and given a record for selling such garbage that people don't need.
That really is bad that they refused your husband because of his record, and they should be ashamed of themselves for judging a person because of that.
I hope people will see this and stop investing thousands of dollars into this company!
2006-06-21 05:44:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
uuuuummmm.......... Did he commit computer fraud?
2006-06-20 02:31:14 · answer #8 · answered by Troy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋