Ive know my wife for 3 years before marriage, then 2 years married, & now 3 months seperated. We had fights & seperated many times before, & most of them were my fault. I used to ignore her presence, neglect her, yell at her, and basically made her feel bad in many ways. Everytime we fought or seperated I used to promise her that it was the last time, but it wasnt. This time Im willing to be serious, & I really mean it. Im trying to set up a vacation for both of us to relax our minds, change flats to get rid of bad memories, even try to get new clothes! But my wife is finding it very hard to trust me again, and shes been making me feel terrible lately. Im apologizing to her all the time, and telling her how much I love her and miss her. I know that she does love me & miss me since she says it everytime we meet, but she just ignores my calls & doesnt want to even talk to me whenever she remembers the past. She makes me act like Im depsperate, & I dont know if it will ever work out again
2006-06-20 00:09:53 · 9 answers · asked by Zwerg 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Once a person has lost their self confidence it is very hard to get back, the fact is you have been a bad husband, a good husband treats his wife like she is the pillar of beauty inside and out, a good husband makes his wife feel wanted, important and loved. Trust and honesty go hand in hand and without one you cannot have the other. your wife is probably terrified that if she gives you yet another chance you will only dissapoint her, and if thats the case she may not be willing to take that chance. it sounds also that she may be confused being that you tell her one thing and then do another. She may love you still, but sometimes love isn't enough. The past can be pushed aside but not forgotten and it may take her some time to accept it and move on, if she wants to move on with you then i suggest counseling. you are certainly going to be apologizing for your actions for a long time. the only thing i can suggest, that is if she wants to try again, give her your full attention and affection, prove to her that she means this much to you. Actions speak louder then words, so instead of telling her show her. if she does not wish to try again, however, then let her be, you've done enough damage, and take this experiance as a lesson learned so you do not repeat the same mistake in the future.
2006-06-20 07:52:05 · answer #1 · answered by LawlietLover 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are serious, get a therapist. Invite her to a therapy session. You need to talk to someone about your issues. A change of flat and clothes is not going to solve your problem. Things will be fine for a while, then you will start back up again. You have emotional issues that need to be sorted out with a therapist. Then plan the vacation and buy new clothes. Good luck.
2006-06-20 00:13:59 · answer #2 · answered by -- 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What makes you think you've changed? I don't blame your wife for not trusting you. The best thing to do is remain separated for 6 months. If at that time you feel the same way, approach her again and see how she feels. She has every right to say no to you.
2006-06-20 01:47:25 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why the f**ck did you have to make your relationship a wreck and treat the woman who gave you so many chanves like that??????? Damn well you deserve it!!!! you are an unreliable and lying husband! do you expect her to believe you one more time and risk getting hurt again just because you SAY you mean it this time?? On top of that, you promised her again you would change and you didnt, why is this time going to be diofferent? because she lost her patience with you??/ If you love her, stay away from her and let her get on with her life! she gave you 5 years of her life anf you payed back with disrespect! Leave her alone!
2006-06-20 00:17:13 · answer #4 · answered by metafrastria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people don't realize what they lost until they loose someone. All you can do is prove to your wife that you're not that same person anymore. Whether or not she accepts that is entirely up to her. No matter what the outcome is, respect her decisions.
2006-06-20 00:37:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confidence once lost is difficult to restore.You have to better speak again with her.You have still some chance to reform yourself and live together.
2006-06-20 00:15:19 · answer #6 · answered by leowin1948 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you done messed up good, smart guy.
Frankly, it ain't up to you anymore, you've played your cards. Now be a grown up and accept the consequences.
You know, she might be testing you - see if you can _really_ handle yourself now. If you blow up because she won't talk to you, that says it all, huh?
2006-06-20 00:13:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You screwed up big time. Well done. Let her go, she deserves more than what you're giving her.
2006-06-20 00:15:00 · answer #8 · answered by smurfette_au2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she really had enough of you.
so have I.
2006-06-20 00:14:30 · answer #9 · answered by leadbelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋