My husband writes love notes/letters to a girl I know but insists nothing exists btwn them. shld i believe him

Question

We are married for 5 years now and have a 2yr old baby boy.The girl was his former student and he was once accused of having an affair with her but I came to his defense coz I didnt believe it. I even encouraged the girl to concentrate on her studies, pass exams and proove her critics wrong. She finished school and six months later i came across letter he's written to her on our computer abt how crazy he's when she is away. He's many video clips of her, photos and her funny messages. She stays just a few miles from his work place.He tells me the girl loves him but he cant betray our marriage. We dont stay together coz I work in a different town so we only meet either every weekend or after a fortnight. I love my husband aand despite our distance, I keep my dignity and respect our marraige. I feel that he's not honest since one time he told me he loves her like a daughter but his letters and video clips display romance as some are taken half naked. I see him with suspiscion -Cant trust

Answer 1

Dont trust him if it is just a friendship why are there half naked pictures and why does he keep all the messages and tell her it drives him crazy when she is away.

He is having an affair you need to tell him if he doesnt stop you will leave and take your son . Why are you so far away from your husband cant you be closer maybe he is lonely good luck x

Answer 2

You already know the answer to this question he isn't being respectful to your marriage whilst he is having anything to do with her. If she is in love with him and the feelings are not mutual then why has he got the video clips ect, think about it you work away from each other and I'm presuming that you look after your child, then he is off living the life of riley, you sound like you have alot of morals and dignity by standing up for him but you need to be strong and figure out where your marriage is at are you happy this girl being in his life, what if your son grows up and thinks that this is a normal situation for marriage would you not be devastated if your son was to treat someone like this. i was in the same situation although I'm not married the girl involved with my ex was as i was told just a friend but in my heart i knew and i had just had his baby when i chose to leave, it is hard but showing respect for my relationship took away my self respect but I'm working on that now. Good luck be strong x

Answer 3

A wife should NEVER play second fiddle to anyone, period!! He is not respecting you or your marriage....so show respect for yourself and do something about your situation. Yes, he is having an affair with this girl. It doesn't matter if they are physically intimate or not...the minute he starts talking romantically to someone else, he is cheating on you. Don't you deserve to be treated better than this? You're already separated from him....you've given him a very long leash for this dog to be sniffing around. How much more are you going to let him get away with??? A woman does not need a man to complete her...a woman has a man to enhance her....and he's certainly not enhancing you....he's disrespecting you. Stand up for yourself!! The emotional health and well being of your child depends on it.

Answer 4

Its time to move on get rid of this guy and get some child support from him. Don't no married man need to be write any love letter to another woman unless he trying or has already slept with her. So the affair rumor is probably true. Being a married man myself, if I was living away from my wife and only seen her every weekend, I know for a fact I would have a during the week girl. Especially if we lived in different towns

Answer 5

This man shouldn't be trusted. He writes notes to a girl????!!!
I woudln't believe a word that comes out of his mouth.
This isn't suspision.........this is in your face.
What about this makes you feel this is ok?
You deserve much more. Gather up your dignity and leave the sicko. You might still love him, but he isn't being faithful or honest with you. If you believe him you are living in denial.
Do you want this child to be raised by a man who lies and cheats? Think of the harm this can do to your son. Be strong.
Gather up your gutts and run don't walk far away from him.
Please don't be a fool. Get some support and be strong gf.

Answer 6

If you read the question you just asked out loud it should answer itself, girl its time to wise up. Tell him you do not like what he is doing and if he keeps doing it tell him to take a long walk off a short pier as you are not going to except this behaviour and a third person in your marriage.
Your little boy has to sence the tension between you's and the mistrust and for his sake deal with the problem now cause it will only get worse.
He is totally disrespecting you and your marriage and your little boys life it is not exceptable.

Answer 7

I think you already know the answer to this deep down - that good old women's intuition - but maybe you don't want to believe it or deal with the consequences of believing it. I've been here before, and you will drive yourself crazy going over and over in your head 'is he a nice guy or a lying ****?' . If it helps to have someone else say it for you - it's the latter, he's lying, definitely cheating (emotionally if not yet physically) - and I really feel for you. Good luck.

Answer 8

I really believe after reading your question, in your heart, you already know the answer. In my opinion, he is cheating on you. He is spiritually intimate with this girl, and probably has been physically intimate.
I know its complicated when you have a child, but he sounds like a greedy creep to me. He has no respect for you or your marriage if he dotes on this girl so much.
I would give him the boot. You deserve better. Don't trust him, he is underhanded. You know its true, he's a cheater.

Answer 9

personaly myself i dont blame u 4 not trusting him it sounds 2 me like there is or was something going on haveu tried to confront him about what u have found. but at the end of the day the day the choice is urs if u feel that u will both be able 2 get through this go 4 it if not cut ur loses but whatever ur chioce remeber u have 2 consider ur own happiness notjust that of ur family. gd luck

Answer 10

I used to write to one of my teachers after I left school. Yes, I fancied him, and he was married with 2 kids. Though now I have seen sense - he still wants to meet me, but I've grown up a lot now, and I'm now trying to fob him off!

I'm not going into detail - but I can say there is a very good chance of some attraction between your husband and that girl.