At age 22 I acheived my life goal by owning the largest sports bar in Iowa, but due to a business partner whom I didnt know was nothing short of being a sexual predator, the business went under. Now at 24, I feel like I dont really know who I am.
2006-06-19 20:24:51 · 4 answers · asked by TheBottleSlinger 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
(laugh) I think I had my first mid-life crisis at age 12.
Seriously, though, that sounds rough -- to get what you wanted so early, then to have it taken away.
Men tend to be goal-focused, and a hit to their career or uncertainty about what they should achieve in the lives really wounds them more than it seems to wound women in general.
That's one reason why men more commonly seem to get the "mid-life crisis" syndrome -- or at least express it more visibly.
Are you still interested in reestablishing a sports bar, or was that goal something that's been satisfied now, and you're looking to move on?
There's no easy way to find a new goal. You simply evaluate what you like and do not like, and look for opportunities to do the thing you do like and see how it pans out. Maybe your feelings will change, maybe the opportunities won't show up. (Meanwhile, at least you're doing something you really like to do.)
The problem with goals is that they're always in the future, but you can only be happy / content in the moment. Looking towards a goal is a great motivation but also makes one discontent until the goal is achieved. Part of surviving the crisis is learning to enjoy whatever you are doing this moment, plus enjoying what relationships you have right now.
(You generally have some control over your relationships, at least. The people who love you will be there for you to be with and enjoy, even when your career feels aimless.)
Do your past credentials and/or business relationships open any doors for you to walk through?
Do you have enough money to do what you want at the moment, or is work necessary right now for you to stay afloat?
It's hard to give detailed advice without detailed information. But without your goal of the bar, you now seem to feel aimless, and it sounds like you had defined yourself by your job.
You're more than what you do.
That doesn't make the confusion go away, and it's hard to accept, but you're still "you" right now, without the job to define you.
I would probably focus on enjoying what you do have, trying out new things you think you might like, and asking people who know you and love you who they see you as and what they see you being good at.
Good luck, I hope things get better.
2006-06-20 04:00:28 · answer #1 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is a sad thing when some one lets business define who they are. To be honest you may think it does that's why you're so devestated because you have to be another average Joe. Cry me a river Joe!
2006-06-20 03:33:41 · answer #2 · answered by J D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try another buisness learn to choose your partener next time..in all our life time we rise & fall then rise again then fall its not the end of the world anyway>>!
2006-06-20 03:29:39 · answer #3 · answered by donia f 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just if you are planing to die at 48...
2006-06-20 09:06:54 · answer #4 · answered by Blah 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋