when is it time to give up on a marriage ?

Answer 1

When there has been infidelity and you just don't have the interest or hope of getting the trust back.
And if your mate is plotting your murder. Anything else means you need to keep looking for answers.

Answer 2

Is this a first marriage? How long have you been married? Any children involved? Have you tried counseling?

All I know is that I hung in my first marriage for 21 years with lots of problems. It seems like when things start going bad they continue to spiral that way. It is very hard to get that loving feeling back. That's how my marriage was. We divorced finally and I am now in a second marriage.

I can tell you that the second marriage is a lot of hard work. It will never be as easy as the first marriage as we both have children from our firsts. The step children are resentful and difficult much of the time. Our time has to be split between his children and my children. We have past lives with other spouses and not much history of our own. We are older and more set in our ways too. Just so many obstacles all the time. I would advise you to try hard to stay in your marriage especially if it is your first unless there is abuse, infidelity or something of that nature. I have found myself wondering if I could have fixed the first marriage and stayed in it and been happier. I had no idea a second marriage could be soooooo hard.

Just think about it. If it is a first is it worth saving? Good luck!

Answer 3

Well there are several reason to end a marriage. Without specifics from you about your particular situation I would say that you should evaluate the condition of the marriage.

Is it worth salvaging? Do you BOTH still care for one another. It can not be one-sided.

Decide for yourself what you will accept and will not accept in your partner. Physical abuse, cheating, drugs/alcoholism and not providing for the marriage as a whole and intimacy issues would be some reasons to call it quits.

Otherwise some differences can be ironed out in counseling.

Since you two HAVE married then obviously there was/is a relationship or attraction with one another.

No one should dissolve a marriage without turning over each and every stone first.

Answer 4

It really depends on what's involved. If there's any abuse (physical OR emotional), chances are the abuser won't stop because he/she doesn't want to, and doesn't respect you enough to be worth putting up with. So in that situation I'd get out ASAP, especially if there's kids involved who might become abused too if they aren't already.

If you don't trust each other, that's a little trickier. Because relationships NEED trust, but it's also possible to earn trust once you've lost it. Counseling would probably be best in this situation unless it's obvious the spouse will never change. If that doesn't work, well you tried, you can leave and get on with your life. If you have kids...well, you want them to be able to trust their father/mother, right? If you don't trust your spouse with you, how can you trust him/her with your kids either?

If you can't seem to agree on major issues like how to raise the kids, either you aren't communicating well enough or you don't know how to compromise and make both spouses happy. If you're 100% dead set against your spouse's way of doing things, consider whether it's more important to have your own way or to stay married. Some things are non-negotiable and worth getting a divorce for. These things are also things you should've found out about each other before you ever got married. But some things can be worked out just by talking, and maybe some counseling. If you have kids, try not to argue in front of them, and make sure you NEVER badmouth their other parent to them.

Basically, if no one's in physical or mental danger, do everything you can to save the marriage. But sometimes there comes a time when any effort you make is just beating a dead horse. If that time comes, get out FAST otherwise you'll both end up with even more experiences to regret in your lives.

Answer 5

According to Dr. Phil,...when you've tried everything possible to work out the issues....and when you can leave the marriage with absolutely no hesitation, anger or hurt feelings. This tells you that you have done everything you can to fix the marriage. If you still have feelings for the person, angry feelings or not, it's not time to give up. If there is children involved, remember that it's better to be FROM a broken home than LIVE in one.

Answer 6

When you have done everything to save the marriage including marriage counseling and forgiveness and there is not saving left to it. That is the ONLY time you should give up except it be for adultery, fornication, abandonment or abuse.

Answer 7

It all depends on the implications, are there children involved?
Have the two of you considered their lives without the two of you being together?
Have you considered the future consequences of going through what appears to be separation?
It may be a good idea for both of you to acquire a little self confidence, reassurance, and integrity before rushing into this...

Answer 8

When the love is gone..why be miserable or make them miserable...life is too short to stay in a marriage where love has died...and don't ever stay married for "the kids sake",,cuz they're not happy either...been there..

Answer 9

As a Christian I say almost never..... but as a Christian I know there are times also that no other way but divorce is possible too...... sometimes there is nothing left to give or to recieve from your spouse.... soooooo, I guess each person has to decide on their own when there is just nothing left......... God bless

Answer 10

when you have weighed out all your options and what you know that what will really make you happy is ending it. you could always make a pro and con list, seek counseling or do whatever it takes, or you can just give up i mean it depends on your situation.