Why is it so hard to make inter- racial friendships? This is 2006. What are people afraid of?

Answer 1

When I was young my base of friends was about the same as the distrabution of various ethnic groups. The area I lived in was about %40 Hispanic, %50 White and %4 Asian %4 Native and %2 other.

My friends in HS generally had long hair, we mostly listened to the same kinds of music, liked the same kinds of cars, liked to party and many other similarites. None of which had anything to do with our ethnic heritage. In fact for me race was almost unoticed. Every once in a while a topic would come up or something would come up. There were a tiny group of bigoted Whites but they were quite rare. Even the rednecks were almost half Hispanic and half White. In that place and time people were people. I had several Asian and Native friends. They to me seemed to feel very comfortable being among almost all White and Hispanics. Probably because race was not an issue. We were friends for common interests. There were a number of Hispanic gangs which were very racial but even a few Whites managed to gain acceptance and membership in those gangs. It was quite hilarious hearing a White go on a racial tirade against thier own race. Membership in the Cholo (as they were called) gangs required a Chicano supremacy viewpoint.

Today's youths are bombarded by racial messages. The ultra awareness of race I think is the biggest seperator. Blacks rarely listen to anything but Black music. How many Blacks do you see at Heavy Metal shows for example? In the Southwest US you'll see almost as many Hispanics as Whites. You'll see a good sprinkling of Asians and Metal is one of the most popular forms of music among young Natives. In top Metal bands you see quite a few musicians who are either Hispanic or half Hispanic. There are a few Asian and Black musicians as well in the genre.

Country concerts are not quite as unracial but getting close. In POP you see a wide vareity. Rap is still very much dominated by Blacks though Hispanics and to a lessor extent Whites are starting to even the genre out some. Many Whites and Hispanics listen to rap. To me this shows a color blindness as a group. They listen to what they like or what the peer group they want to be in likes.

I recently read a phrase "Nobody knows what it's like to be an Asian girl in the US ... " and so on. This was a huge warning sign to me. First off there are at least 50,000 probably more like 200,000 other Asian girls about her age in the US. I think she was 16. Second why was there ANY racial idenification at all? Shouldn't she be identifying more with her peers who likely were a mix of White, Hispanic and Black? If so shouldn't it be she thought nobody could understand what it was like to be a 16 year old Goth girl or Prep girl or whatever the social groups are called today in high school.

The key point is that people today are hyphonated Americans not Americans. Who gives a damn where your ancestors came from. Your here, you are an American citizen that makes you American. Speak the language, be yourself and we all get along great. However African-Americans (This is a pet peeve for me. First off NOTHING should come before American. Second few of them are from Africa. Third even those with ancestors there are often by way of the Carabean or South America or England. Those that are not are not African. White, Hispanic, Native blood usually flows through thier viens. More so even those with purely African stock are from so many different parts of Africa that they are not even African as in Zulu, Conglonese, etc. Worse it takes forever to say or type the damn phrase. If they continue to insist on using it the phrase will get shortened and likely spawn an offensive term. What is wrong with Black? It denotes all with African or near African heritage. It might overlap with Hispanic and Pacific Islander as well. Whites for example come from Europe, Australia, Middle East, most Indians consider themselves White and even some Natives with quite a bit of White heritage consider themselves White. Even South Africans of European heritage consider themselves White. Nothing wrong with being proud of who you are. )

Back to my point. The hyphon in the names, the wearing of your race on your sleeve suddenly forces people to be typecast. Hispanics listen to Latino stations not to Rock or Blues or Rap. Where as an American of any heritage listens to whatever they happen to like be it Metal, Rap, Rock, Country, etc. Today there is increasing pressure which is creating fracture points on racial devides. Blind racial infighting such as the OJ trial which leaves Blacks defending OJ, many knowing he was guilty but still proclaiming his innocence even after OJ has on several occasions all but blatently said he did it and got away with it. I remember hearing calls from Black leaders for Blacks to aquit Blacks on trial. The official reason was to combat racism but to aquit on race IS racism. It is the actions of people like Jessie Jackson which are causing race to become more and more an issue with people. The Hispanics seeing the successes of Blacks have jumped in and the Asian groups are now mobilizing. Next will be Whites, Natives and many other groups. The net effect is one of walls being built. People who'd be best friends never get that chance. The reason why is commonalities like music are prescribed to you by your raced. If you are born of race X you listen to music X. It is the music of your race. To me that is just a tragidy. Music is music. Blues and Jazz has seen quite a few White and Black musicians contribute to the field. Rock had quite a few Black musicians playing Rock in the 60s and even early 70s. Many Blacks listened to Rock back then. Today they are rare. There are no racist songs in Rock or Metal. I cannot think of a single one. I'm sure if you looked hard enough you could find some White Supremist Indie group. Race is not what Rock is about and the roots of Rock include many Black and Hispanic musicians. Some like Santanna are still playing strong today.

So today's kids are hearing racially deviding music. They see the TV all day where they hear about this group or that group claiming racism. The school they go too might be subjected to forced bussing. A kid there may cry racism to avoid trouble as I've seen several Blacks do to avoid being fired for good cause. A Black group sued one company that was almost all HIspanic employees over racism saying there wasn't enough Blacks. There were not enough Aisans or Whites either but was that part of the suit? Nope. The NAACP is a group born of a real need which did many good things in the early days of it's existance but is busy now undoing all those deeds. I cannot think of a single group which is doing more to promote racism today than the NAACP. Groups now are forming emulating their example for other ethnic groups. Each one suddenly transforms it's members from Americans into hyponated Americans with concerns that overule what is best for the country in general and demand special treatment for it's members.

Neighborhoods today are segragating more and more. It's a self segragation going on. Because various ethnic groups are developing seperate cultures and even refusing to adopt English as the primary language in some cases you are seeing less integration in the neighborhoods. If you grow up in a school that is almost purely the same ethnic group as yourself it's hard to make friends with other groups. Those of a different ethnic group are going to feel isolated in many cases. Hyper aware of their race. The more this happens the more the neighborhoods segragate, the more this will happen.

So the key point is one of culture. Black culture, White culture, Hispanic culture, Asian culture do not exist in America. They are artificial devides built by politicians who use turning us against each other for personal and political gain. To subscribe to these devides is to wall yourself off from the rest of the nation. The more isolated you become the more succeptable you become to ideas about how all the countries problems are those of this or that group. How innocent, blameless and victemized your own group is. Pretty soon you actually believe the garbage and start to perpetrate it and the stereotypes that come with being a hyphonated American. When this happens we all lose.

Answer 2

It may be 2006, but everyone here wasn't born yesterday. Some were born as long as 80 years ago. A large portion of our society, the Baby boomers are in thier 50's and 60's now. Born in 40's and 50's these people have what their parents taught them to over come and they taught their kids, they have to overcome that.

It isn't that there is anything wrong with the relationships, it is that people don't always see the need to change their views.

In a word people are afraid of change.

Answer 3

It's not that it is hard or about the friends you keep it is people are more afraid of what others would think while they are walking down the street with some one of another race. So instead of us as people looking within we just don't want to look past the color of others skin.

Answer 4

Inter-racial friendships are very common. America is full of different ethnicities.

Answer 5

I guess it is where you are located. I have a lot of friends who are of a different race. Actually, my best friend is half white/Irish and half Indian/Trinidadian. She looks just White. We have been best friends for almost 12 years now. Also, two of my other friends, one white Italian and one trini/Indian are each others best friends and they are my friends.

Answer 6

Definitely it takes time ( some times it is in months). Well, friend ship needs some harmony, hence it is hard.

Answer 7

im fine being friends with black people but i don't date black guys. because of the simple fact that it's hard on the kids. i have a half black friend and she told me herself she doesn't fit in with the black people cause she is white at heart but the white people don't accept her. i lover her to death but i don't want my kid going through that.

Answer 8

they are not afraid...what hinders this kind of friendships is the thing called "stereotypes".

Answer 9

It depends on where you live and the opportunities you create for yourself.

Answer 10

Where do you live!? It´s not a problem, it should not be a problem, and quite honestly a disturbing question!

Answer 11

i find it easy, just be nice to them. they might open up when they know u tryin to be their friend