Do you think she will find me and hurt me?

Question

Couple months ago, I had an affair with my boss who is like 8 years older then I am. I knew he was married, but I loved the attention he was giving me. Well, his wife ended up finding out about us b/c he put everything we did in an online diary and she found it. She confronted him and he confessed. The next day he told me about it all, and I was freaked. I figure she will probably try to find me and hurt me. The thign is, she knows where I work since I work with her husband. I haven't told my bf about all of this, I am too scared. I am going through a divorce from my first husband and am living with my bf and my two kids.

I have apologised to him a bunch of times. Should I send her a letter or something apologising to her too?

Answer 1

No. You are gone. Move to Brazil.

Answer 2

I think it is said that your have kids are in the middle of this whole situation. Torn from there dad to be with a live in man that you apparently don't care about. Why not stay with your husband so your kids can have both parents. It's obvious that you care nothing for your husband or boyfriend so it would have been good with kids to stay with the husband. Now there is a third man to worry about. Hopefully this woman is bigger than you as a person and will walk away. You shouldn't be coward. You should apologize in person and take your consequences. Then you need to make it clear that the relationship is over and let this woman repair her life. After all is said and done, you need to get yourself together so your kids will know what a stable relationship is. Not a good example that you are setting. Oh, by the way start with leaving other women's men alone. We would appreciate it!

Answer 3

Confession is good for the soul... but I think you owe this woman the chance to vent her hurt and anger at what you and her husband did. You had your fun, now it's time to pay for it. You should come clean with your boyfriend first and foremost... he deserves to know what type of woman he is involved with. If you had said that you were in love with this man, then maybe I wouldn't offer such sharp criticism... but infidelity hurts alot more people than just two who had the affair.. it causes a domino effect that you will be "cleaning" up for a very long time. You need to do some serious soul searching and figure out what you need in your life that will fulfill the void that you were trying to fill when you let this affair get started. If you need to talk... feel free to contact me. Peace.

Answer 4

I would apologize to his wife too.But not face to face i would write her an e-mail from a computer at a public library so your b/f won't find it.But i think u should tell him because you're not being fair to him.If you think he's the type of guy that would get ssoooo mad at you and then forgive you after you beg a little and say you'll make it up big time.Then i would tell him.If you luv him and don't think he's that type of guy n you don't want to loose him then i would keep it to myself (if i were u)But my point is u really need to find a way to apologize to his wife because u ruined a relationship between 2 people that might even have kids and they don't diserve divorsed parents.You should also try to find a way to tell your b/f about this but if you think he'll leave you keep it to yourself.I hope this helps you and if it doesn't i'm sorry it's a hard situation i don't know if this is the best advise but it's the best out of me.GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

The answer is this: NO! send the woman nothing. She doesn't want to know you exist, let alone get a letter from the woman her husband likes better,

Quit your job. It is all too complicated. Find something else.

Take some time for yourself. You seem to be throwing yourself into a new relationship before the old ones even end. Take at least 6 months to focus on your family.

Answer 6

You should not send the wife an apology, because you are not really remorseful. You are are only sorry your dirty laundry being exposed. You knew this man was married. Therefore, it is no excuse for your actions. To make it so bad, you are still married and have a BF at the same time. To top it off you are a mother who is conducting herself as a Whore. You need to resign from this job, finalize your marriage to your husband, and make up your mind if you want to be married and honest with your boyfriend. Telling your boyfriend about this incident may make things worse. Somethings are better by letting them remain as they are. Since, you have children I have to take their welfare into consideration as for a roof over their heads. (I am assuming your bf is paying the bills are helping you financially).

Answer 7

It is easy for people to sit back and condemn you, but here is some heartfelt advice for you. You are dealing with two things. The first appears to be low self-esteem, you might want to try counceling, it can work, if you are willing to be honest with yourself and think about your kids. You see, kids don't ask to be put into situations, they often become victims of poor choices, I can tell you that much. You are a parent and as such are setting the moral standard. It's time to put men on the back burner and start thinking about the happiness of the kids and finally your happiness. You cannot find happiness burning your bridges as you go. Take a good long hard look in the mirror, with out hate or self loathing, and assess what you really want to do with your life. You are your children's anchor, their safe harbor. They NEED you, and you NEED them. Men can come and go, but no one will really love or respect your or your kids until you learn to love and take better care of yourself. Leave that lady alone, move on and make smarter choices, there are self help groups that would be able to help you out there. The bottom line is, you need to place kids first, and all others second. Then arrange your life with people who are positive, as long as you cheat you will be cheated out of all of life truly good things. Yes, correct this before it is too late. You can do this!!!! And you will be blessed with love and happiness, not bitter memories.

Answer 8

Gosh. it sounds like you have a history of trouble choosing good men. Think about it....you had an affair with a married man. you are getting divorced and you are living with another man. I wouldn't be suprised if your life has a long list of men and also have a few of those men's wives after you. I say it is time for you to change your behavior. Don't sleep with married men. Choose who you are with wisely. If you don't change your life will be full of drama. What sort of example are you setting for your children?
Maybe you need to change jobs and not F around with every guy that comes along.

Answer 9

She should whip your azz. That would teach you next time for messing around with another woman's husband. The fact you forgot..you are still married. Married, living with a boyfriend w/ your two children, and screwing the boss.
You should receive a reward for world's biggest tramp. It's women like you that turn good guys into dogs. More importantly, get your own place, divorce your husband, and focus on your children. Women like you should not be allowed to breed.
As for your boss..he should be fired for sleeping with an employee and the wife should get him as well.
TRICK!

Answer 10

Oh my God! What a big mess! Get everyone together and go see Dr. Phil! This is going to take years of healing on every end and there are alot of mixed emotions.
It's sad that people have to get caught in order to suddenly be sorry. If no one would have found out, would you and your boss have continued with the affair?
You need to make arrangements to get on the Dr. Phil show fast!

Answer 11

Pampering attention is always nice to have....but not to the point that you are getting involved with a married man. You should have politely thanked him for his interest but then made it clear that you do not get involved with married men and that you are currently in a relationship. You have hurt yourself, your boyfriend, your children, your boss, his wife and Children (if they have any). It is such a hard thing to heal from infidelity.

You should NOT apologize to this woman unless she contacts you....then you express your apology and how ashamed you are for your actions. Let her know that you will no longer be a part of it and that you are moving on with your life.

You must tell your boyfriend, if you have any respect for him. IF this is a relationship worth having then all parties must know what they are in for. You do not want him finding out from a third party. That is even more hurtful than hearing it first hand. Be prepared for him to scream, yell, name call or even just walk out silently. You must let him know how sorry and ashamed you are. Let him know it is over and you will not do it again (and mean it). If he is willing to still stick it out with you - you are going to have to do some major trust rebuilding.

As for the kids, wow....other kids can be cruel if they hear parents talking of the issue and then they say something to your children....that could really bite!!! You could simply say to them, depending on their age, that "mommy" did a bad thing that hurt people and that it is never ok to do that. Mommy is going to pay the price for this for sometime. Or you can not tell them anything and just confront it with them, if and when they hear about it.

My concern is you stated your are going through a divorce, living with a man, and then seeing another one on the side.....it sounds to me as if you are male dependent. You should definitely seek counseling even if you disagree with this. You are going to have a lot to deal with for a while. Look for another job.....be persistent, you need to get away from the source.