I have a 3 year old daughter who i love more than anything, the problem is her mother. she cheated on me with one of my best friends played head games screwed me over and my daughter, I cant talk to her i would probably say something stupid and almost ever one i know wont talk to her for the same reason and i want to stya out of court.
2006-06-19 16:14:56 · 22 answers · asked by john g 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
dude - you either need to kiss her butt big time to gain her good graces, or head to court.
Neither one is gonna be fun... but you've got a baby girl to help raise. AND SHE NEEDS A DADDY!
If you go the court route... stay civil. She can be a @itch and get away with it. You act out or get rude, you'll be painted as a jerk that would endanger the child.
2006-06-19 16:29:45 · answer #1 · answered by daddy's girl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough position to be in and it is not easy. The important thing is to separate your feelings about your wife cheating and your feelings toward her from that overpowering love for your child. Hopefully your wife also feels that same amount of love and the important thing then is to try and work together to understand that no matter the justification for your differences that nothing warrants making your child's life a nightmare. It actually will be harder for you to do this, most likely, but let your love for the child overwhelm your hate and dislike and hurt for what happened to you. Establish reasonable, non-confrontational dialog with your wife and let her know that you both love the child and that is what is most important. As for courts the only way to avoid that is to find some way to work out a dialog with the wife that involves communication and understanding even when you have no reason to.
2006-06-19 23:21:44 · answer #2 · answered by alagk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's no longer about you and the ex. It's about you and your daughter. You don't have to like the ex or respect her .... but you have to learn to co parent that little girl without screwing her up, too.
If you two can't be on a civil basis, perhaps you need to get a mediator. A neutral person (friend, someone from you church....) to work out specifics such as visitation. You may have to work out a neutral place to meet (seems our local Home Depot parking lot is a popular spot in my area).
If you two can't be adults and work out a civil agreement, the courts may be the only way to go.
Remember, the child is not a PAWN to be used between the adults.
2006-06-19 23:25:12 · answer #3 · answered by Wisdomwoman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
court would give you the rights you need to be able to see her.
Would you speak to the mom and ask if you can go over to the home in which they live to see your daughter. You can get to see her, The child needs to know you. Bring fun games with you when you visit. A ball, chalk, bubbles. This way you aren't spending a lot of money on material things. Perhaps she will make arrangements with you to see the baby more often, and there doesn't have to be fights. If you are able, place the child ahead of yourself. This will make you a better person.
2006-06-19 23:21:42 · answer #4 · answered by kcpjky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but the best way to go about seeing your daughter is court. You could probably work something out on your own, but she could still play head games with you and use your daughter to do it.
2006-06-19 23:21:39 · answer #5 · answered by las3665 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you are supporting your daughter financially, you have the right to see your daughter at any time that is convenient for you, you may still end up having to go to court to get visitation rights, but it will be well worth it for both you and your Daughter, and please do not become one of those dead beat fathers that does not support thier children, make sure she knows how much you love her.
2006-06-19 23:17:52 · answer #6 · answered by dahorndogd013 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your daughter as much as I think you do you are going to have to let the courts settle this. She shouldn't be used as a pawn and the courts can stop that. She needs her dad and you need to step up, show her you are willing to do whatever it takes to be a part of her life. Good luck and God Bless!
2006-06-19 23:21:44 · answer #7 · answered by Tammy G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know someone in this same situation. If it is possible find someone that you know to get your daughter for you so you can see her. She needs her father, her mother will regret it later on when she becomes a teenager and becomes rebellious. But give that a try and see how it goes. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-06-19 23:18:44 · answer #8 · answered by lynnaboo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your daughter is worth what ever you have to go through -if thats what you think of the mother,do you really feel okay-backing away. I hear this from alot of men trying to give up responsibility. If its a problem to see the mother-dont-have someone else pick her up.you two are her parents for life...you can keep it going the hard way or find a way to make it work.daddys are just as important as mommys. please dont hurt your daughter for something she's a victim from as well
2006-06-19 23:20:41 · answer #9 · answered by cassiepiehoney 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You absolutely MUST get court-ordered visitation. That way it will be REGULAR visits at regular times ( much better for the child).
If you are the dad, and you are NOT a criminal...then you have the LEGAL RIGHT to see your daughter.
You don't have to talk to your ex, just get help at a legal clinic. They will file the papers for you and notify your ex.
You will be granted visitation. You will have to pay child support
but of course, that's only the right thing to do.
2006-06-19 23:59:22 · answer #10 · answered by yorbalinda1234 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋