Do you think it is acceptable for your significant others x wife to show up at family functions.?

Question

He has been married twice and his x wife #2 shows up at family gatherings because she is invited by x wife #1 adult children to birthday parties, 4th of July celebrations etc...
At one point the daughter from x wife #1 moved in with my significant other for a year with her husband and kids and she invited x wife #2 to come over and visit. I feel uncomfortable with the whole thing. We were in bed when she was walking around the house. I think x #2 should gracefully decline to come to his house. My significant other says she has a good relationship with his adult children. He and x #2 have 2 teenage children together, so the family is going to be together at gatherings.
I think his adult children need to be figuring this whole thing out. She came to the hospital when he was sick and reviewed the chart. She is in all of his financial business.
What do normal people do?

X wife #2 is remarried and has been for about 3 years. X wofe #1 has been remarried for about 17 years.

Answer 1

I hate to say it, but I think you are going out with my ex-husband (ha,ha). My ex- had been married three times before (twice to the same woman). He would meet her and greet her with hugs and kisses (in front of me) and invited her to our wedding, no less. Nothing like having the woman he divorced twice show up with the kids at our wedding (these kids were adults and could have come alone).
He will always be the father to these children, but he is not married to their mothers. They have NO right in the same house or to access medical records under the privacy act. It sounds like your significant other needs to decide who he wants to be with. I certainly would not settle for being 2nd (or 3rd). If he truly loves you, cares for you, and respects you as a woman, he will stop these shenanigans!!!

Answer 2

Not really but you are not his wife yet so do not worry about it. If he does marry you then worry about it then. He may still have feelings for her and wanting to see her too. Check into this and see where he is coming from with it all. Is he divorced from her yet if not then they are still married dear and she has every right to be involved in his life. There is a reason he has been married twice already and neither marriage worked out. He is not perfect either or blameless let me tell you. She may very well be normal. Do you know her side of the story and what he did to her in the marriage or do you only know his side of things? She will always be in his life somehow because of the kids though and you have to learn and except that as she is their mother.

Answer 3

She was his children's mother. You can't break up that relationship. They're family, whether you're comfortable with it or not.
Maybe there are some things that you can do, like not have her walk around when the 2 of you are in bed. And when you marry your partner, you can get her out of all his financial businesses.

Answer 4

That all sounds so weird, and complicated...Why can't Both of the X's...move on with their lives, and stay out of it all? It sounds as if the children are all grown....so I don't particulary see any reason, for either x to be up in any of your business..?? if you'd like to talk further about this....

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/2nd_wives_club/

Answer 5

The Question to me is.... Will my wife care if I get drunk with another women? Or will their husband care if I get drunk with her? The Question is no in both circumstances. Be careful who you choose for drinking partners. If you are not careful it will lead to the wrong thing.

Answer 6

She shouldn't be in his business for sure... but if he lets her then there's nothing you can do. Talk to him about it and if you can't handle it find yourself someone with less baggage. Good luck.

Answer 7

You don't have any say in this; you're not married to him and he didn't invite her. Keep your mouth shut and be gracious, even if it kills you or she will.