My brother in law loves his wife but is concerned because she has become for the better part asexual...she has never cheated on him and she is extremely religious and her personality would not allow it...she just doesn't get into it all...they have kids and she feels she has done her job..
He can't justify leaving her for that reason alone as it is EXTREMELY SELFISH and they have kids...He isn't sure what to do but he hates that he goes to bed blue most of the time and in his religion, masturbation is not an option as it is considered a sin. His wife is also very suspicious that he does and has already told him she finds it offensive...so he finds that he has to control the drive and doesn't know how...
2006-06-19 15:28:58 · 7 answers · asked by juanes addicion 6 in Health ➔ Men's Health
You're right, he should not leave her over this issue as it would make a mockery of marriage vows.
I think his wife needs to understand that if she doesn't want to put out anymore, then her husband really does need some relief - he is a guy, after all. He should be able to w.ank or watch a little porn or whatever to get his rocks off (not cheating of course).
Maybe a trusted church minister could have a quiet word to her on the side about a "man's needs" and explain that it is normal to have a pull or some kind of outlet
2006-06-19 15:33:35 · answer #1 · answered by LadyRebecca 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
she should either put up or shut up!! rarely couples are sexually compatible...in your case perhaps a bit extreme. If she is that religious, perhaps her refusal to comnsumate a marriage is a sin and against her religion. on the other hand, maybe your brother in law is really lousy in bed..he might have hugh sex drive but if he only concerns about his own pleasure perhaps it turn her off instantly....
2006-06-19 23:44:54 · answer #2 · answered by sstooc2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I respect their religious beliefs, but there is a price to pay for voluntarily restricting natural bodily functions.
I doubt the wife will change her mind. Apparently, she doesn't have to worry about pleasing her husband because she knows he will be faithful no matter what. The time to show her how pleasurable sex can be for her was when they were having children.
2006-06-19 22:37:59 · answer #3 · answered by lunatic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless they both change their views on sex and other sexual activites (like masterbation), no personal growth will ever happen.
He will grow extremely frustated and will be tempted to masterbate and/or cheat on her. No matter how much he denies he will ever do such a thing, he is a prime candidate for cheating on his spouse.
Unless they can resolve this together, there won't be any resolution that will make both of them happy. Seek a marriage councelor.
2006-06-19 22:33:56 · answer #4 · answered by kawaii_crazy_yume 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen he is not alone in this area, alot of couples have this problem, so do I..its tough but sex is very important, VERY.
I have gone 4 yrs and I'm miserable. I'm a women my husband is younger then me to and has no sex drive. I have to admit, I have cheated. Am I wrong? maybe,, Its a sin I know, but I need what I need. How can a wife give her husband grief for playing with himself what does she except this poor man to do..I'm sorry but I don't agree, sex and playing its not a sin.. God created sex to be beautiful. why do you think it feels so good..
I hope they talk about it,, its important..very important..
One day they could stray I never ever thought i would.. but it happened..
2006-06-19 22:35:50 · answer #5 · answered by done 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, it really isn't your place to find a solution for them. (or mine for that matter, but you asked.)
It is an indication of issues that need to be resolved on both their parts. They both have gone to an extreme, hers to no sex and his to needing it so much. A side note, what does the religion say about nocturnal emissions?
They both need to do more understanding of the others point of view. It seems so polarized that they may need to consider counseling. In counseling, they will have a better opportunity to get their views heard and understood.
It would be nice for him to get to have sex once in a while, but if she can't bring herself to do it, he has to realize he can't change her and decide if he can stick it our or he need to move on.
2006-06-19 22:30:34 · answer #6 · answered by Ken C. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is there any way he can "turn his wife back on" get her sex drive going again?? Maybe do something romantic??? I know religions can be kind of restricting but there must be something that he can do to bring that "spark" back in....maybe a 2nd honeymoon???
2006-06-19 22:32:14 · answer #7 · answered by myhopelesslyshatteredheart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋