I wrote a question yesterday about my husband wanting to do the right thing and pay child support to his ex for their son. they were never married and agreed on just paying money without going to court. well now he wants to change that and have everything down with child support and visitation. well she told him she didnt want to do that so he called the child support and they told him NO if she does not want it they can not force her. here is a father a real man that wants to take care of his son and do the right thing and he is basically being told NO!!!! why would they tell him no i dont understand that. what else can he do?? im just at a lost cause i really thought that the court system would tell a man like this YES .....what to do next???!!!
2006-06-19 15:21:39 · 12 answers · asked by Arianna C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Dear Confused:
First, what State do you live in? Next question, was paternity ever established or stipulated to by the father? Does he appear on the birth certificate? How old is the minor child?
The law is very clear concerning parental rights in most every State. Had this been in California (example), the court has a Family Court Facilitator who can assist at no cost in preparing the paperwork. The Facilitator is usually an attorney and can provide limited advice to people who represent themself In Pro Per.
The support division usually operates from a Court Order. If one does not exisit, the support enforcement unit has no authority or jurisdiction.
You husband should proceed with caution as he may very well find himself in an ugly battle that can result in massive attorney fees. He will likely get visitaiton and support calculated. However, there are additons that he needs to examine as well such as daycare costs, after school care costs, health insurance, etc. The court is not going to merely just make decisions on the items your husband wants adjudicated.
Family court is a sewer system and the attorneys who practice family law make their money when everyone is fighting as they charge on an hourly basis.
I strongly encourage you husband to examine all avenues, determine if the timing is right to proceed if there is no court order and to get a handle on what Guideline Support would be. Most Courts use a system called Dissomaster to make support calculations. I believe you can download a free trial of this program from the provider West Group who license the software. There are also other means to calulate depending on which State you reside.
Depending on Dad's prior history and the child's age, the minimum visitation would be every other Friday, Sat and Sun with mid week visits. However, there are many factors that the court considers in making custody determinations. You are strongly encouraged to seek legal advice before making any further moves forward.
The above is not intenderd to be legal advice and should not be relied upon. The information is intended to provide general information concerning the working of the Family Court System and may not be specific to the laws of your State.
2006-06-19 15:52:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1. He should ask for a DNA test that prooves he is the father, this may be the reason the court is not going after him. She might have told them he is not the father.
#2. If he gives her any money it should be in check form made out to her. All money must be documented.
#3. She does not want him to give him visitation. Many women just want a baby, not a hubby too.
#4. This is not the end of her.
#5. The courts are over loaded with cases like this.. grown men and woman who don't know how to use birth control. Believe me there are no "accidents".
2006-06-19 22:33:05 · answer #2 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that. I know what the court system can be like. If the mother of his son doesn't want child support, then the court can't force her to let your husband pay it. But it sounds like he's a real man, and very caring, so congrats on finding one. I guess all you can do is wait it out, maybe she will change her mind, and realize that he wants to pay, because he cares about his son. ope that helps.
2006-06-19 22:27:39 · answer #3 · answered by Princess Gemini 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The courts are not allowed to provide legal advice.
Get a lawyer. Most family law attorneys will provide a free consultation.
It is really simple though.
He needs to start a custody petition. It will determine all issues of support, tax exemption, parenting time, legal custody, physical custody.
Everyone thinks that lawyers are worthless and not worth paying, until they are f-ed and the case is all screwed up.
Pay the money and hire a lawyer.
2006-06-20 08:53:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that is different...but, he can open a savings account for his son just like he was paying support; then when the kid is ready for college, or whatever down the road dad can help out! Mom sounds stubborn so giving her money at this point probably wouldn't go to the kid anyway. But, also, maybe let him worry about it, not you. You can't control everyone and everything, certainly not the courts! Let Go, Let God, and it'll all work out. I just hope she's not telling the kid that his Daddy WON'T pay, but even if she is, that'll all work out eventually.
2006-06-19 22:28:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she has custody of the kids, there's really nothing he CAN do. he can try to sue for custody, and maybe make a legal compromise with visitation.
Since there is no legal precident, he is entitled to see his son whenever he wants. he can set up a savings account for him and give him the money when he's older, or tell his son to forward some of his expenses to him to pay. if mom makes a stink, she will have to take it to court to make it stop. either way, he gets what he wants. if she takes him to court, he can counter sue for joint custody or so. you may want a lawyer if you decide to go this route. think it over before he sues her, and as soon as she mentions anything about suing him or restraining orders, get a lawyer.
Good luck!
2006-06-19 22:27:46 · answer #6 · answered by mystique_365 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The court system does suck. you better have all the money that he gives her on paper cause if not then there is no proof that he is taking care of his side and she can take him to court later on and lie and say he never paid her anything. then he will have to pay her all over again. be careful.
2006-06-19 22:28:48 · answer #7 · answered by dirtybirdnest 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to have an attorney first of all. A family law attorney. He must have her served, get a parenting plan, etc. I do hope his name is on the birth cert. as the father or he will have to first establish parentage.
Good luck. I hope he has lots of spare cash for the attorney. My husband is a family law attorney and this is how he makes his living.
2006-06-19 22:26:18 · answer #8 · answered by Valerie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously he needs a lawyer. never take the info from his ex at face value until you understand how the justice system work....
2006-06-19 22:26:14 · answer #9 · answered by sstooc2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men ALWAYS get screwed in domestic relation matters.
2006-06-19 22:28:55 · answer #10 · answered by Dusty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋