I have a beautiful 7 year old daughter and a husband of 5 years together 10 . I always thought marriage was more then this ? I dunno how im suppost to feel ..maybe its not the real thing maybe im just used to him ive been with him for so long .. I cant see myself with anyone else .. I mean I know i love him but i question his love for me ...he keeps me isolated from the world it seems.. but yet he's always telling me to make friends or get out and do things but when I try he makes up an excuse for me not too?? I didnt know being married feels so lonely ..does it ? I want to make our family work but it seems like nothing I do is ever good enough for him .. and I have gained 30 pounds thru the years ..maybe he's not attracted to me anymore ? what can i do to rekindle what we used to have ..I feel he is only here becuz he feels he needs to be cuz of our child ? I mean is this how love is suppost to feel ?
2006-06-19 15:20:23 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A marriage is two people not just one yearning for things to be diffrent..Sounds to me like your husband is a creep ..I was married to one of those a long time ago.........But I found my love 10 years ago and married him 7 yrs ago.....We are both older and all our kids are in their 20's early 30's and we love each other very much.....Yes marriage is supposed to be more than just two people under the roof it is a commitment to each other and if both aren't commited then you don't have anything...Staying together because of the child is not doing you any good ...Leave him see what happens.....Like the saying goes...You don't know what you had til its gone..When real love comes along you will know it
2006-06-19 16:00:14 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds to me like you are settling into a rut with your husband
and that is normal
but that doesn't mean you cant develop now that your child is at school (i too have a 7yo) so how about taking a class or course when she is at school and your hubby is at work? That can help broaden your horizons as well as meeting new people and add to your social repertoire too. And that doesn't depend on your hubby wanting to do it with you (and if he objects then you CAN always cite how he keeps telling you to make friends)
I do wonder if the reason why he 'makes excuses' for not going with you is that he may feel tired after a days work - and perhaps you may benefit from finding other women to socialize with anyway.
As to the weight issue - i am almost twice the woman i was when i met my hubby - so that ought not to make a difference as you are still you. It probably is a factor in you having low self esteem tho - perhaps finding a women's keep fit group may help with both those issues?
and if he is in the same rut as you - he is willing to provide for you and be in your daughters life - but to bring back some of the pzazz that you used to have can be done but will take some time and effort.
2006-06-19 15:32:01 · answer #2 · answered by Aslan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW That sounds exactly like my life to the t. It's really hard I am 22 and my husband is 26 we have been married 5 years and together for 71/2. We have definatly had our problems and big ones at that. I have also gained about 30 pounds over the time and I think that if I could lose it I would feel more confident in myself and therefore be happier and have a better marriage. If you would like to chat you can contact me.
2006-06-19 15:42:31 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Jennifer♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am older than you will live to be. IN that time, I have had the great fortune to experience great love, great times....and the worst times you can imagine! WE all are spoon-fed Hollywood's version of love and marriage...hog wash! It is day by day work, putting up with the miserable SOB, giving and getting little in return...at times. At other times, you cannot imagine life without them. IT is more like a rollercoaster than life as we imagine. Just when you think you are ready to walk out and not look back, something stupid is said, you start laughing, and the love jumps back...go figure. You are no different than anyone else. The real difference is sticking to it and being there to enjoy the good times. Those who run everytime the going gets shi*y miss the good times. Trust me, marriage is NOT like a first date, a first love, or anything else that is new. Let's face it, you wash his funky drawers ! It is hard to be all that romantic with that in mind, but .... familiarity breeds, and boy can it! Chill out, count your blessings, take a look around you and see what real misery is, and you will suddenly brighten up and start appreciating what you have, not what you suppose you should have. Hell, maybe this is what we are SUPPOSED to have.
2006-06-19 15:29:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes we are truely happy in our marriage. True love can and does exist. Lvoe is what you make of it and what you choose to have it be. Why does he keep you so isolated from the world this is just not fair. You need to go out when he is not home and spend time with your friends or have your friends over. You need to seek counseling and help here and see if he is opent to maririage counseling. Try to rebuild again and get to know each other all over again. Love is supposed to grow and get better and stronger over time.
2006-06-19 15:31:14 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats very poor. my sympathisis to u.
what is true love ?
true love means sacrify, which u already doing.
Nobody is perfect. Marriage is a bond between husband and wife. trust is connecting them.
u can try some diifferent things to have some light to your routine life.
leave yr kid for few days to some of yr close relatives.
ask him to take 3-4 days off and go out of yr city and have a second honeymoon.
explore yourself on him with a totally different approach. try and satisfy him on his favourite methods. make him feel at heaven for the full. and yes before going for this start reducing yr weight immediately.
2006-06-20 19:59:57 · answer #6 · answered by udayy2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get to the GYM. You are bummed about gaining weight (or you wouldn't have mentioned it), you are bored/lonely/confused. In addition to making yourself feel better physically, you will meet people and get out of the house. I take water aerobics and strength and muscle conditioning classes through community education at a local college and it has done wonders for my life. Get those endorphins pumping and you will feel like you just fell in love again ;) Good luck!
2006-06-19 15:50:54 · answer #7 · answered by April M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True love exists but not the Happy ever after ending. Love is a work in progress you have to grow with it. It changes as your life changes. It has highs and lows. Only if you are dedicated and willing to work will love last.
2016-03-26 22:13:39 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah marraige does get pretty hum drum alright! I really think that it would be gd if you got feeling good about you like your appearance and clothes ect.The weight doesnt help make you feel good ! I found tht if you get looking really hot and get out and do things alot he will find you more attractive in all ways.He will start to respect you when you respect yourself.Get a sitter and get out and get a new do.As far as keeping you away frm everything Hello! are you a doormat?If you are you will be treated as one!
2006-06-19 15:31:16 · answer #9 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only u can truly know if u love him or not i figured this out that there is no stright forward ans in any relationship. But hey u can start by loosing weight and try to spent some time alone without the kid around c if that works
2006-06-19 15:36:04 · answer #10 · answered by mandeep g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋