My guy friend was raped 2 days ago.. by a guy! i promised not to tell what should i do?

Question

2 days ago I was gonna pick up my friend he took a while and then came into the car looking horrible and scared. I finally got out of him the truth, he had been raped by his neighbor and couldn't tell anyone because he was very humiliated. I promised not to tell he said he would'nt forgive me if I did, but now he won't sleep he wont eat he wont even talk and im really scared for him. I've tried talking to him but its no use, I suggested telling his mom but he denied and threatened to dissapear if I did. What should I do?

Answer 1

This is an extremely serious issue. I know you don't want to betray your friend, but if you don't do anything about it, this criminal could end up getting away with a very horrible crime. It's also likely that he'll repeat this act on some other unsuspecting victim and possibly ruin his life.

Your friend needs to get help. He cannot deal with the emotional effects of his rape alone. If he tries to bear it on his own, it will have a destructive effect on his mental well being.

Try talking to your friend about the negatives of keeping silent. Carefully prod him to report the incident. It's understandable that he would feel shame and embarrassment because of the nature of the act. However, if he doesn't do something about it, it will only get worse. I think that's where you come in. If you aren't able to convince him to take action, talk to someone you think can get this situation settled. He may be angered by it, but in the end he'll probably thank you.

Good luck.

Answer 2

there are rape crisis help lines for him. I knew someone in this situation, and 20 years later it affected every aspect of his life from work to his relations with other people, including women.

whoever you are, however it happens, it is terrible. encourage your friend to talk to a crisis counselor. they are completely confidential and can help him with what he's going through.

The cops cannot, legally, keep this confidential. neither can any authority figures you may tell this to. Realistically, it would be best for everyone if he told. someone in the rape center may be able to convince him better than anyone else why it is important to tell the authorities. so it won't happen again, so he's safe, so he can move on, etc.

Remember: you are this guy's friend. you made a promise, and should not break that. but tell him your feelings and that you really feel he needs to speak up. support him either way, and encourage him to do the right thing. good luck!

Answer 3

Sweety all i can tell you is that he will need alot of therapy and the person that did this to him should go to jail please keep alking to your friend and let him know that he's not the only one that this has happened to and to think how many other people he will be helping if he spoke up. This same situation happened to a very dear and close friend of mine when he was younger age 7-10 and he lived his childhood being pertrified and not saying a word thanks god that he grew up to be a strong individual now married and with kids but from time to time he still has nightmares when he got older he finally told his wife and his mother everyone was shoked that he had kept that secret for so many years and the only reason why he broke down was because he started doing drugs trying to cover up the pain it just got to unbearable and he had to open up what would have helped was if he opened up at a younger age he wouldn't had to do drugs so please tell your friend to scream it out from the top of his lungs not to keep it inside it's not healthy in the long run be a friend even if he doesnt talk to you tell his mother get that bastard in jail imagine who else he is doing this too maybe children ranging in ages 7-10 let let that guy get off so easy in the long run maybe not now you friend will see that you were being a friend and he will thank you .I wish my friend would have had a friend that he would have told and gotten the help he needed when he most needed it. Let me know what happens .Good Luck and stay true. you'll feel worst if he does something to himself and you didn't get him the help he needed and let the mom know that he might try to run-away so that they can keep a close eye on him and tell her to approach the problem by arresting this guy and going easy on her son.

Answer 4

it often happens with rape victims that they are the ones who feel ashamed and violated. They feel like they should have been the ones to know something was going to happen and that there was something they could have done to prevent it. It is even worse for the victim if they even slightly enjoyed the intercourse (physically not emotionally) because they feel more at fault. The best thing to do is tell your friend you are their for them and let him know he is not at fault. Tell him he needs to talk to someone ad that if he can not confide in his parents then even a professional should be contacted... a therapist a doctor even a guidence counselor in school. All of these prodfessionals are trained to handle cases like these and know the apropriate steps to take. Even if he will not see someone it is necessary to tell someone for him. He might feel betrayed but it is the best thing to do. if you have to talk to someone don't go right to his parents that wil mak him feel worse but try one of the afore mentioned people. if you have any questions or would like to talk this out with me you can get me on Yahoo messanger or AIM @ baseballgrl3307

Answer 5

Personally I'd get a group of friends together and go pound the living shi* out of the neighbor... ...but that's me I'm given to violent hatred of rape and rapists.
You have to get him to tell someone.
He's embarrassed but what if this animal does this to someone else?
The only way to stop a rapist is to call the authorities.
The media and police are very good about keeping names of victims hush hush and might not even need to get his parents involved.
Id he won't tell then you have to! This thing will eat him up inside until he can't contain it any longer, it can lead to depression, violence even suicide. Please for his sake and the sake of everyone in you community get this rapist behind bars, and get help for your friend!

Answer 6

if i were you i would let him know that your there for him and that he should try to talk to someone before the situation gets bigger and more complicated... what i mean by becoming bigger what if the neighbor does it again or lets say the neighbor goes to there house it would make him feel very awkward and uncomfortable and if his parents notice they will question and if they find out the truth it will lead to other even more worse problem just confront him tell him whats on your mind and that your worried for him

Answer 7

Tell him he did nothing wrong and should not be ashamed or humiliuated and let him know that if he does not go to the police chances are that this person will do it again....and that he has the power to put a stop to this man who WILL DO IT AGAIN....that I am sure off. The most important thing is for you to support him for he will need you to be a real friend to him.

Answer 8

its not right to hide a raping from somebody. reason with your friend and tell him that he has to talk to somebody. he will be strugling his whole life if he doesn't. rape is a very hard thing to get through. suggest that he take some counseling classes or talk to somebody that you trust and will know what to do. and if that doesn't work than you can say you tried and you will know that you are a good friend just by trying.

Answer 9

call your local rape crisis center (in the phone book) they are trained in giving advice in situations like this. Maybe your friend would be comfortable speaking to someone there since they are strangers and he would not have to be embarrassed or humiliated --plz call them asap, he needs help--fast.

Answer 10

look talk to him the person that did that to him was a criminal and should be locked up! anyways tell the police and make them put the guy in jail!