Together for 10 years. ROM for 3 years. He keeps saying I force him to settle down by commiting to a flat which he can't afford. Last year, he met a girl while on an overseas trip, and they have been on a long-distance relationship ever since. But we still love each other. I'm trying to understand how other girls will deal with such a situation, if divorce is not the only option.
2006-06-19 14:35:27 · 25 answers · asked by Gal-alive? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think this questions is best answered by a guy.
There is no such thing as a long distance relationship with another girl - especially if you have been together for 10yrs and been married for 3.
All those woman who have told you to go for a divorce are wrong!!
Thats how a marriage breaksdown.
I know you are feeling a little left out .. or bored ... get use to it ... you are already married .. the romance has died.
Be that real darling wife and put that R back into that romance.
Get a book or something read up .. make your marriage work.
He is just over strees with the cost / expenses .. he probably wasnt prepared and now he is in a jam cause his other plans are affected.
Remember, he was just pleasing you, when he bought that appartment.
Sugguest a down size to him or rent up the rooms .. get a job or something.
help pay up for the house !!! its Eating him !!
and that long distant girlfriend ?? ...... it would slowly fade away ... besides its long distance !!
You will fInd that it will all work out in the end....
Welcome to married life.
Dont forget your role as a wife. ever... you need to give your support .
NOW !!!
Dont just read this ... call him up ... tell him you want to find ways to reduce his cost !!
Say you want to help !!
Go Go Go
Are you still here ??
Go already !!
2006-06-19 22:56:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
It's only normal if you want it to be. If it's OK for him to have a girlfriend then you need to go get a boyfriend and he should have no problem with that. If he does have a problem with it, tell him he can't have it both ways. What's good for him should be good for you. If all else fails then by all means divorce is your only option if you don't like the way he's behaving and he's not willing to change it to save your relationship!!!
2006-06-19 21:43:54 · answer #2 · answered by unicornfarie1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is most definately not normal. I hope that ROM is not some type of open marriage. I am unfamiliar with that. I guess I will be trying to find out here shortly on Yahoo answers.
No good can come out of any of this, unless of course your marriage returns to a committed relationship and any issues of hurt and mistrust can somehow be dealt with.
2006-06-19 21:43:03 · answer #3 · answered by blueEyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
R u kiddin me lady?? It's not normal at all man! It's like as if he doesn't respect u nor tis relationship & marriage tat u guys hv. & wat he tell u abt u forcin him is jz an excuse to make u feel guilty & its ur fault blah blah....LAME!! I'm in no position to tell you wat to do - it's ur life afterall & it shud b ur decision. But wat I can suggest is tat u hv a gd heart 2 heart tok w him as to y he's cheatin on u etc....thr might b a reason. Communication, understanding, trust is the key to a successful relationship. If u still luv him & he feels the same way still (i really hope he does- im sorry), thn i tink u betta get tis ting out in the open w him. Seek a solution to resolve tis if u want tis bad other than tat the othr option in my opinion shud b the last resort. I'm sorry that such thing is happening to you. ALL THE BEST!!!
2006-06-19 23:16:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you're not in touch with your emotions. Who knows maybe you're lucky in that regard. I love the way he's blaming you for his cheating. Start spending a lot less time at home when he asks about it tell him that it ceased to be his business when he broke his marriage vows. You don't have to be seeing another man. You could take a class or join a support group or go to a favorite place, the point is, he doesn't have to know what you're doing.
2006-06-19 21:54:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly you can be the only one that can determine what is normal, it shouldnt matter what everyone else thinks. If it works for you and him then dont worry about the rest of the world. But honestly if he can have a girlfriend then you should go out and find yourself a boyfriend if its ok for him then it should be ok for you as well. Good luck girl!
2006-06-19 21:47:20 · answer #6 · answered by Jenn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is crazy that you would be willing to put up with another girl on the side that is letting him get away with having his cake and eating it too and that to me seems wrong if that is the kind of life style you want then I say to each their own but normal no I don't think it is normal
2006-06-19 21:39:56 · answer #7 · answered by jdhoggiebuns 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No,this is not normal,he is not giving 100% to you,but at the same time he is not giving 100% to the "other woman",you should ask him who he really wants and if you are not his choice,go on with your life and find someone who will love and committ to you.If he loves you why does he use the word "force" when talking commitment? Robin
2006-06-19 21:44:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where is your self-esteem? Most man would have their cake and eat it to, just that most women will not let us. Why are you tolerating a man in your life that treats you with such little respect?
2006-06-19 21:41:32 · answer #9 · answered by Jon W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my life, divorce would be the only option. Why do you want to sit around and wonder what he's doing and if he's where he says he is....not to mention knowing that he's saying things to another woman that he is only to say to you.......what marriage vows did you take? Is he living up to his side of the bargain? Doubtful. Respect yourself.
2006-06-19 21:50:25 · answer #10 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋