They write, phone and email each other and she tells him how lonely she is at night. He says he is just trying to comfort her because she seems depressed.
2006-06-19 14:27:20 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, your not being too jealous. Have you heard about some of the surviving fireman and widows of 9/11 in New York. God Bless them and you. You have to bring this to the surface somehow and try not to be too emotional like I would be. I screech when I am upset over something that's important to me. Why don't you seek counseling ahead of time so you know how to proceed and what to ask for from your husband. I'm sure he's a very good guy, but they are both vulnerable right now and share the same sorrow. I wish you all the best.
2006-06-19 14:44:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's getting somewhat inappropriate. Does she not have female friends to console her? Can she not seek out counseling? Have him suggest that she find a support group so that his own marriage is not strained. If he's not willing to cool it and/ or set some boundaries for her, go straight to the source. Pay a visit in the evening and say that you stopped by because your husband told you how very lonely she is at night. You are wondering if there is anything YOU can do because you're not overly comfortable with how much time your husband is spending consoling her. You fear it will have an adverse effect on your marriage. Not only will she get the message to back off but you will know by her reaction and the general vibe if she has anything to hide. Good luck!
2006-06-19 14:44:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not being jealous. Those consoling with each other has some underpinnings. It may not be there at present, but if left unchecked, overnight your fears will show.
Talk to your husband about this. Tell him that it is not bad per se to help and console a friend's friend. But why only him? Why not both of you?
Talk to the other woman too. Console with her, and tell her that it is really hard to miss someone you love, 'just as you would grieve if you lose your husband'! Tell her to move on with her life. There are lots of good men out there who are unattached, and are capable of giving the kind of love and affection she needs.
2006-06-19 14:58:09 · answer #3 · answered by rrd 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When one of Elizabeth Taylor's, husband died, she became romatically involved with Eddie Fisher, Debbie Reynolds husband. They were brought together, because Eddie and her deceased husband were friends. The 2 couples shared lot of good times and went out a lot together. Eddie Fisher, was "Johnny of the spot" as soon as he heard about his friends death. He helped Ms Taylor with the funeral arrangements and other business matters. After the funeral Mr. Fisher continued to be supportive to Elizabeth Taylor, called her and went by her home daily. He told his wife Debbie, he was consolving her, because she was depressed and lonely. A few months went by, and Eddie Fisher asked for a divorce, and left Ms Reynolds devastated and blind sighted. Just keep your eyes open, never let your husband go over to see her without you being there. When he calls her, make sure you are close by. Grief does funny things to people.
2006-06-19 14:44:34 · answer #4 · answered by smplyme132 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a minefield - be very careful. Do you know what the most common cause of divorce is amongst New York firefighters these days? It's firefighters who comforted their buddies' widow's after 9/11 and ended up having affairs with them.
Watch your guy very closely.
2006-06-20 10:44:28 · answer #5 · answered by jerryg1212 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If possible, you need to curtail this. It might be innocent now, but could evolve into something not-so innocent . She is lonely, yes, and she needs to get out and start a new life, with other interests, without your husband's assistance. Talk to him about it, but don't nag. If he continues, get more demanding! Good Luck!!
2006-06-19 14:37:01 · answer #6 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to be concern if she is that lonely maybe you can befriend her. Tell your husband it's only so much he can do cherish the memories and life goes on with you and your family, she'll be OK.
2006-06-19 14:33:08 · answer #7 · answered by askmeguru21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps your husband is clinging to the last link to his friend. Perhaps he feels her pain and wants to be comforting as well as comforted. But be careful! What started out as innocent could lead to worse.
Above all talk with him! Be open to his feelings and wants but make him aware of how you feel. He might try to blow it off as simple jealousy but be firm, without demanding he stop contact with her.
Good luck!
2006-06-19 14:44:08 · answer #8 · answered by Alpha Wolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is more than comforting going on thats something you can do not him there obviously is some type of feelings there for each other otherwise he wouldnt think twice about doing such a thing
2006-06-19 14:45:20 · answer #9 · answered by treatau 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not feel jealous ... She just wants help and encouragement. You should try to be her friend as well and help too. Do it together as a couple.
2006-06-19 14:40:12 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋