Have you ever made a total a** of yourself and felt so misunderstood at the same time ?

Question

Well...I recently have and it's a horrible feeling. I was a temp employee at this job and developed a crush on a female co-worker (I'm also female). I asumed she may be Lesbian because of how she dresses and just her mannerisms. I was in the process of divorcing ( we have no kids) and was just at a critical point in my life and having feelings for the first time towards a female. I probably intiated the flirtations which led to lots of eye contact and smiling, and she also attempted to start conversations with me at times...tried to make me fit-in as a new temp. She's a manager but not mine. I developed this crush and didn't know how to handle it. I felt like there was mtual attraction but also an awkwardness between us. Suddenly the eye contact and smiles and conversation stopped because she quit trying. I sensed something had changed but on my last day of this temp assignment, I somewhat confessed my feelings or crush. I followed up with some e-mails to her at work, explaining my

feelings and wanting to know why things had suddenly changed. I thought maybe she was holding back her feelings for some reason. Maybe it's vain of me...but I realize now that I shouldn't have sent her those e-mails at her job and truly regret this stupid move of mine. There was just no other way to contact her. She did reply only once by e-mail, informing me that I must have misunderstood her friendliness for something else and that she is in a relationship already and is very happy. She said she could not continue to receive my e-mails but I sent one more anyway...to apologize and to let her know that I never knew she was involved already and I didn't mean any disrespect. She put a block on my e-mails and informed my temp-agency. They said they don't know any details but asked that I not contact her anymore and I explained that it was just a personal issue between me and a co-worker and I e-mailed them to try and clear up the matter between us. They reassured me that they are not ...

...concerned about it and appreciate the good work I do for them. I am still embarrassed and hurt that she felt the need to involve my employer. Now I feel like she thinks I'm some kind of freak but I would never, ever do anything to hurt her or jeopardize her job or reputaton...like she is tring to do to me for whatever reason. I just liked her so much and don't understand her actions. I can put myself in her shoes and see her views, but I never said or did anything to deserve this. I know it was selfish and maybe thoughtless for e-mailing her at her job, but I was blinded by what I thought were real feelings between us at one time. Now I feel like my temp agency thinks bad of me, despite their reassurance. I feel awful about this whole situation and also feel way, way, way misunderstood. Please, I need good advice. What should I do ?

Answer 1

It sounds like your job situation is not in any real jeopardy. Regarding that, say nothing else about it, or only say it won't happen again and then say nothing else about it.

Then back it up, don't let it happen again. So the job is taken care of.

Next, regarding the person you met at your assignment. Whether you mis-read her or not, she is telling you you did, so you must respect her and take her at her word. Let her be. In time, if you are right and she is doing this to save face at work, and if she has feelings for you, she may contact you, but let her make that move. In the meantime, don't wait for her. Grieve if you need to, then get on with life.

Count yourself lucky your job is keeping you and telling you it doesn't matter, (as long as you leave the person alone)

Answer 2

you were probably right in thinking she liked you as well. I think where things went wrong is when you sent her a detailed message at work and in most companies they can read your emails or everyone gets the same email. You should have called and asked for her number never ever involve work and it was probably an embarrassment to her and that is why she involved your work, she probably did not want people to know she was flirting with a woman

Answer 3

not really! but i've told other people they have and that helped them so they woundnt do it again