My husband and I have been married 9 months. This is my second marriage, his third. Both of our previous marriages lasted 20+ years. During those years, I spent the majority of my time raising my three children which gave me no time for much else. However, my husband and his ex spent their time traveling, going all over the country, visiting exotic restaurants, attending the theater, balls, etc., seeing performances of stars one only hears about. I hear about the experiences and all the good times daily. At first I didn't mind, but when he pulls out videos of the two of them white-water rafting in Colorado, or I hear about limo rides in Manhattan, I wonder, "what do I care?" Am I being unduly resentful or is he being inconsiderate of focusing on a past that I have no part of? I wonder how we can have a future if he's still in the past.
2006-06-19 14:13:41 · 6 answers · asked by lsah1852 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes he still is int he past as he has those videos,he needs to rid his memories of his former partner the fact that he hasnt shows that there is still pieces of him with her,need to talk to him about this and get to the bottom of it tell him new life with you now so time to make new memories and get rid of the old ones thats why you two are married isnt it for anew happy life and new memories of the two of you
2006-06-19 14:25:53 · answer #1 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ask yourself a good question. It sounds like you both need to do some work. He needs to stop romanticizing his past, and you need to let go of your resentment. Going to a counselor to talk out some issues would help.e You and he need to ask, why is he so frequently dwelling on the past? Without knowing the circumstances of why his other two marriages ended, I wonder if he is a person who always wants what he has lost, or doesn't have. I encourage you all to get some counseling.
2006-06-19 14:27:33 · answer #2 · answered by keri gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek counseling and help and talk with your husband and tell him what you feel and why. He may need counseling to help him get past the pain as well. I sure can understand why you feel the way you feel. Try doing more with him and spend time with him doing what he likes to do. You do have a future if you want to have one with him. Just work at it really hard to make it happen and make new memories with him!
2006-06-19 14:19:38 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's being inconsiderate. You have 2 choices...either tell him how it makes you feel, or discretefully get rid of the tapes and make no mention of it.
2006-06-19 14:36:00 · answer #4 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you do not mind listening about his great trips n experiences but that you would rather not see pictures or movies.
And learn from his stories....he had a great life that he can still share with you thru stories and wisdom
2006-06-19 14:25:13 · answer #5 · answered by hmc121667 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to quit showing you the past and get off his butt and maake new memories with you
2006-06-19 14:53:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋