Am I a forgotten Dad??

Question

I think the relationship between my 11 year old daughter and I has begun to deteriorate more than ever this year. She not only didn't wish me a happy birthday in March but also didn't call me to wish me a happy father's day. My daughter does not live with me and when I visit her she seems to be uninterested in me. I try to talk to her but she has nothing to say. I give her the materialistic things she asks for and it's like she doesn't get excited like a kid usually does. She doesn't ever call to talk to me and when I call to speak to her, her mother insist that she is busy or not at home. What is a dad in my position suppose to do?

Answer 1

wel you are an out of the house dad and you need ot be a in the home dad, the way you can do that is start to write letters to your child, she is 11 she can read, send two letters a week. mom can hide them but you will be sneding them all the time, then when yo ucall her ask her if she got the letter. keep calling h er and asking her. keep trying dont give up. keep sending the letters and sending gift or whatever. go online and see what an 11 year old girl likes act like you re interested in it.pretend to know what girls like, research girl things, she doesnt want to talk to you because she hasnt anything ot talk to you about, ask her if she saw the new disney movie ? go see it and ask her wht her fav part is, tell her your fav part. tell her you went to walmart and saw a new shirt that you thought she might like, tel her about it. or something that she is interested in. come on dad. be an in home dad.yes i know you are not there but you can act like you are. good luck.

Answer 2

Do you see your daughter on a regular basis? If not, do you chat with her on the phone and on Instant Messaging regularly? When you see her, do you do things SHE likes to do? At 11, she probably wants to be with her friends more than either of her parents now, so try not to take it too personally. It may be a phase. Both of my kids did that, and my husband and I are still married! As they matured, however, they "came back". Now, we have lots of fun together again. If you can take your daughter to some fun events (the zoo, a museum, skating, the movies, etc.) and maybe tell her she can bring a friend sometimes, that might help. Girls really do need their dads every bit as much as they need their mothers, so do not give up on her! Even if she's being told you don't care (maybe by her mother, but I hope not), if you keep calling and sending funny cards, and gifts and keep trying to see her, she will know you really do love her and she will, hopefully, grow up and want to be with you. You need to tell her you love her as often as possible and prove it by not giving up. If you can't get your ex to let you speak with the child, get a lawyer and enforce your visitation rights.

Answer 3

First, even though she's eleven, she's in the preteen years where separating from parents is going to be an increasing issue. As she enters adolescence, she will want to spend more time with friends etc. Often times she will simply want to be left alone. Second, it sounds like you have been building a relationship by giving her material things. Things are not a substitute for time spent with you. What are some meaningful things that she would enjoy doing and that would give you a chance to spend real time with her? What are some unmistakable ways that you can tell her you love her and that she will be able to receive it? These are the things kids want. They have trouble telling us sometimes but most of the time when we get past all the fluff, they want to know that we love them. CDs, clothes, etc. may seem like a loving thing to you, but most kids simply see these as a parent's duty to provide. Think about telling her something special about her that you like or simply telling her that you love her. Schedule time to spend with her and think of things she would like to do. Build a relationship with her and she may be more attentive to you.

Answer 4

Try to spend more time with her, but remember -

around 11 yrs old, little girls start to want to seperate themselves from their parents as they search for their own 'identity'.

Try doing stuff with her instead of buying her things.
Make memories
Do 'dad' stuff like hiking, fishing.
Do girlie stuff like taking her to the mall and pretending to be interested in those 'girlie' earrings'
Invite her friends and take them to a movie - if her friends think you're cool, it will mean a lot to her at this age.
Mini-golf. Batting Cages.
Go Karts! All kids love those dad!
Stuff like that.

Hope that helps,
~Maxie

Answer 5

You only give your daughter material things? That might be why she's uninterested. Maybe she just wants you to spend time with her, but because you only give her material things, it may seem to her that you just give her what she wants in order to get her out of your hair or something like that.

Try talking to her mother about it, maybe she can give you some insight into it as well.

Answer 6

She probably feels abandoned since ur not around often and is holdin a grudge. Talk 2 her about somehow. Get her attention wit somethin she liks then talk 2 her. But if not just talk 2 her mother about it. Try 2 get her 2 ask ur daughter.

Answer 7

I am so sorry for your pain,keep trying don't give up! I too,at one point in my young life began to resist and resent my Dad,because he and my Mom divorced.My Daddy never gave up on me.My Mom never said a bad thing about him in my presence or any other time that I know.I feel instead of compensating with material things,shower her with love and unlimited understanding.Let her into your world by talking to her as a young lady,and explain what happen with you and your ex.(and of course not the intimate details)just share with her whats on your heart.I.m 48yrs old and I remember my experiences with my Dad like it was yesterday.GOD Bless

Answer 8

Listen sweety, keep loving your daighter show her all the love you have towards her. One day shes gonn relixe the mistake she made on treating you bad. Yes, this does hurt you but you aint gonn stop loving her because how she treats u. your just gonna keep doing what your doing and dont give her to many things earn her love dont buy her love. ever think bout maybe her mother telling her something bad bout you and thats why she aint like you. ask her tolk to her. at the end u shouldnt feel guilty although i no she is.

Answer 9

i do not choose you to imagine that it has some thing to do with him no longer loving you adequate. one element it quite is amazingly not straight forward to study about mothers and fathers is they don't seem appropriate and decrease to rubble similar to us. It appears like he tousled. He absolutely must have remembered your birthday, yet that does no longer recommend he does no longer love you adequate. i'm effective he loves you larger than some thing in the international and thinks about you for all time yet is perchance negative with dates. I wager in case you tell him, at the same time as he realizes that he forgot and damage you, he will be his personal worst critic. i'd tell him yet likely he will sense negative about it and desire to make it as a lot as you.

Answer 10

maybe mom is saying things that shouldn't be said around her. kids automatically love their parents and if she is backing off then she has outside influence. i have been to counseling about this and persistence and patients will prevail, and maybe a talk with mom is needed