Three years ago my husband went to friend of mines house and approached her sexually. Their are many things about it I do not understand, I take really good care of myself I'am slender blonde and attractive, she is the opposite fat, unattractive her hygeine is not real good. So of course this really insulted me and hurt me. The biggest thing I do not understand is that are relationship was great even after being married 13 years, the sex was amazing still. When he did this I was asleep in our bed he left our home and went to her, when I would have gave him whatever he wanted.. It has really damaged our relationship, he has apologized but it does not make it right. I still feel insulted and betrayed.. I would never dream of doing this to anyone...
2006-06-19 13:30:02 · 12 answers · asked by boo321974 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i do believe that he still loves you and you have probably heard this and think its a crock of **** but from my personal experience it is tru... men can seperate sex and love... your husband approaching your friend doesn't mean that he isn't in love with you or attracted to you anymore...the reality he may be very much in love and attracted to you.
You made the comment and said that you would have given him anything he wanted but in all honesty once again he may sincerely simply be desiring sex with someone else...now how that ties into love and the fidelity of marriage is another thing but that is the reason he approached your friend.. he may have thought that she would have been up to it...maybe a bit of flirting signs were thrown back and forth prior to the actual thing taking place but...i think that's it.. he love you, he still finds you sexy,, your sex life is excellent but after so many years he might just want to have a sexual encounter with someone else.. it's simply for him to feel as though he is still sexy and desired by another and that other women still want him
I am going through this dilemma right now...i am away from my fiancee... i love her deeply and i am still faithful to her but in the past week i was in a'flirting' relationship with a girl who was around me frequently...it makes me feel good inside to feel that I am still attractive and considered sexy by another woman other than my fianceee... the temptation was there to take it further with this girl who also confessed her attraction but in the end i restrained myself. why the restraint...appreciation of my fiancee and the other girl helped the situation by not coming on to me and putting me in adifficult position...she knows i am engaged..
2006-06-19 13:47:04 · answer #1 · answered by The Thinker 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
u know it's so sad to see a woman who has given up on her marriage of 13 years beecause of a problem so minor as boringness !!! u have a family for God sake not to mention one on the way. all u need to do is spice up your marriage a little. lingerie, a romantic night out without kids, do something spontaneous and different in the bedroom or someplace else, if u know what i mean ! anyway, ther are lots of women out there who's marriages are being destroyed by abuse, husband cheating,drugs, alcohol, mental abuse, and u just cuz he's boring. u should feel real guilty right now. u are only thinking about yourself and not even trying to give your husband a chance to change a little bit. Everyone gets stuck in some sort of rut every once in a while, but by all means u don't talk to another man cuz of it. work on it with your husband, u made a committment to him and to your family. they don't deserve this betrayal.. think on that !!
2016-03-26 22:07:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this happened three years ago, and you are still together, why do you still feel insulted and betrayed? After three years, your husband figures the whole thing is over and done with. If you can't let go of your feelings, maybe you need to talk your husband and let him know how you feel. If that doesn't work try a councilor, and if that doesn't work, get a lawyer.
2006-06-19 13:43:56 · answer #3 · answered by eyeque195 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is the only answer here, for the simple reason that you can never trust him again, it was a triple betrayal as I see it, he, twice,because it was your friend, and the obvious, and she betrayed you once. I would never have stayed at all after finding out, and how in the world could you have sex with him after that? In my opinion he loves no one, and that includes you. Selfish and immoral, and a liar and a sneak. do not attempt to get over it, because you never will. Cope with it? I think not. He handed you this nightmare of his own volition, has caused you endless mental torture, you owe him nothing, he doesnt deserve you. I say lose him.
2006-06-19 13:54:48 · answer #4 · answered by sangellai 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say,"he approached her sexually"At the time he did not love you.you did not say if he had sex with her.myself I feel that if he did it once,he well do it again.maybe he has.you just don't know about it!by the way how did you find out about this time?there is no way you can tell if your husband stills love you.maybe ask him to spend the weekends with you.take you out.wash the floor.stay home with you.cook for you.make you feel like you used to feel.give all his time to you.
2006-06-19 13:55:10 · answer #5 · answered by Tony R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have NEVER gotten over it, and you will NEVER get over it. You need to do the sensible thing and leave right away. You have suffered enough, and agonized over it, enough. It will NEVER go away! Ten years from now, it will still eat at you day and night. Do yourself a favor, and leave. Good Luck!!
2006-06-19 13:39:51 · answer #6 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked him if he does love you? If he left you in the middle of the night, and went to her, he basically lost interest in you, maybe you wasnt satisfying him. I would probably getting conseling, but if not, i would divorce.
2006-06-19 13:34:34 · answer #7 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over it....two words
Coping Skills....<----they help you deal with the things we go through in life and help us get over things.
Without the ability to cope, you will take things to the grave with you
2006-06-19 13:35:28 · answer #8 · answered by dyno_bot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said that you would of done anything for him - if that's true, men can sense that, and it becomes a turn off to them.
2006-06-19 14:31:29 · answer #9 · answered by Venus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was not about you I would guess, but his being insecure about his ability to please and get a women. I would guess he still loves you. As a rule men would like to sleep with almost any women just to have ***.
2006-06-19 13:37:18 · answer #10 · answered by saintrose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋