I am a stay at home mom & my husband works f/t- isn't it fair that he at least pick up after himself?

Question

I do all of the housework, all of the shopping, bookkeeping for his business, telephone calls, banking, etc. etc. etc., while works f/t,does most of the yard work & vehicle work. My beef is, although I don't mind taking care of most of the housework and childcare, why can't he at least pick up his dishes, wipe the counter and put his dirty dishes in the dishwasher, pick his socks off the floor, hang his coat, not leave his dishes in all places around the house and yard? Am I his mother? I am running from morning until night even though I don't work! I feel if he would at least be tidy about himself I could spend more time with our children (aged 4 & 2)and perhaps have some time for myself for a change. I am sure it would be easier to work full time than be a slave. I am a mother of 2 not THREE.

Answer 1

I have the same situation. I decided to keep a journal of everything I did each day and show him at the end of each week. It really helped him to see it on paper....because nagging him to clean up was not working...it was just like a mother not a lover. Now he could see on paper...that I work longer hours than him because children are a 24/7 commitment. Since he has seen this work log ...he is helping more and more. I think some men need non-verbal ways of getting a message to them because they don't listen .

Answer 2

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Answer 3

i'd say that's definately not too much to ask for from your husband. I suggest you talk more to him about it though, or perhaps go for counsiling...usually, the less time you get to yourself, the more stressed you become, and this can often lead to a less than ideal relationship with both your husband and you and your children and you. I hope that you're able to solve these issues before it gets out of hand. Good luck.

Answer 4

You are right. He has no reason to not pick up after himself. maybe he thinks since you are doing it for the kids you might as well do it for him. I tell my boyfriend all the time , I'm not your Mother. If you want your clothes washed, then put them into the hamper, if not they don't get washed. You need to put your foot down. Go on strike for awhile and see how he likes that better.

Answer 5

You may be right. There are some little things he could to help you around but keep in mind that in his mind (an in reality) he does carry a heavy burden too.

Have you sat down with him and talked about the little things that could improve your and his life (if you are happy life is better for all)?

Answer 6

You need to talk too him YES he should be helping you around the house. Tell him to stop messing and put things where they belong.
Then I would set up some chores for him to do.
My hubby works and when he gets home he helps me clean or other things that need to be done around the house.
Good Luck.

Answer 7

everyone should pick up after themselves- and being a stay at home mother is a ful time job- tell him to think about what it would be like if he was the at home and u at work- wouldnt he be upset if u left all your stuff laying around and expcted him to pick it up? i think he may have a different attidute

Answer 8

Until you put your foot on his throat, he will fill that you are there for cleaning and all the other stuff you mentioned! I know, because my brother in law was the same way with his wife...she ended up leaving him. Talk to him, if he won't listen, go on strike...

Answer 9

yes but to get him to understand that will probably take a miracle but I wish you luck Tell him you are think of going back to work see how he takes that. then talk to him just like you are talking or rather writing right now. see what he thinks.

Answer 10

Sounds like you need a special man friend to come over and releive some of that boredom and drudgery from your life for a little while...