why do people stay virgins until they get married??? other than the whole religion thing...?

Question

wouldnt you want to know how to please your man???i mean wouldnt you want to know what you are doing with your partner, before you get married?? or what if you and your prospective husband have perfect chemistry, stay virgins, then on your wedding nite have sex and it is horrible??? personally i have been with a man that was wonderful, and then we had sex and it was horrible, so it cancled out and prospective chemistry. why do people want to risk such an important part of their married relationship on a chance that the sex will be fufilling????


Please no religious inspired answers...

without knowing before hand if it is???

personally i could NEVER marry a man without knowing what my sex life is going to be 4 the rest of my life

Answer 1

I totally agree with you. I test drove my car before I bought it, so I would test drive my man before marrying him. Would you want to commit to a person for the rest of your life who potentially couldn't satisfy you?

Answer 2

ok I will try to do this without God.
First, lets put sex in perspective. Sex isnt the whole reason for being with someone. The chemistry, honesty, love, compassion, desire to care for in sickness and health and of course to raise a family perhaps are the reasons for marrriage. Will this person care for you when you are old? Is the love strong enough to survive serious illness? Then you know you got the right one.
Sex is the desert portion of this feast. Its a way you share intimacy. Like any skill, it can be learned, practiced and perfected in time. Want to be a sexual athlete or a tender loving erotic partner? Communication, experimentation and the fun part...practice. No one is great at first.
Another reason not to fool around before marriage....your partner can trust that if things get tough, you won't skip town for a better playmate. If all the relationship stuff works, the sex can be made to work. I plan to love my lady into my 80's and 90's. I might not swing from a trapeze anymore or do position 271, but the holding, kissing, fondling and whatever else we do to please each other will keep us smiling.

Oh......God Bless You.

Answer 3

Well, let's see. I was a virgin until I got married and I knew plenty well how to keep my guy happy. I read books about technique, watched "special" movies, etc. I've never had any complaints about 'how i do it', in fact, i've had major compliments from each of my spouses. But they still cheat. I asked them if there was something I hadn't done, and they said no. They both admitted they are just male sluts. (The first one has other probs too, but we won't go there.) Sex is only the icing on the cake in marriage. If the main body of the cake has the wrong ingredients or spoils, you're not going to keep the cake, are you, no matter how good the icing is. If you want chocolate and you get vanilla and you really don't like vanilla, but it was covered in chocolate icing,.......

People need to focus on other things, like how important money is to each and methods of budgeting or not, kids or not, child rearing methods, religion or not. These are areas where someone needs to pretty much match or it won't work.

Hobbies can be very different, your gender should be opposite, but the stuff above has to match or you will fail.

Answer 4

Some people are not as sexual as others. A man I once knew said that he would not have sex before marriage because it destroyed trust, and that it took the mystery away from the wedding night.

I agree with your point of view. What a nightmare to marry and discover that the guy is horrible in bed or only rarely interested in sex. My husband and I agree that marriage is a contract with the state you live in,

I'm sure most sex between two virgins is not the best ... skill develops over time, as shyness gives way to desire.

Answer 5

First and foremost if you love somebody, the sex doesn't matter. Sex has nothing to do with love, it's all about lust. Even so, people tend to save sex for that special someone. It's the idea of sharing your body with the one you love and the one you are going to spend your life with. Many people save sex til marriage because of that alone. For some the idea of having sex for fun isn't appealing. It makes the relationship more special and alive if the one you love is the only one who has gotten the chance to pleasure you in ways you have never been pleasured before.
Most importantly, many people save sex until marriage because they don't care if it's horrible. If you love someone, how good or bad the sex is isn't going to turn you away from them.
And in all honesty, if you've never had sex until the night of your wedding, how do you know if it's bad or not? That is the first time anyone has been that intimate with your body. With this in mind, the only way the sex can be truly bad is if you are not pleasured at all.
To sum this all up, people save sex because it is a special thing for the one you truly love, it makes the relationship more exciting if you haven't shared your body with someone else already, and you never really know what horrible is. Sex is lust and, in true love, it plays no part.

Answer 6

Some people, both men and women, want to share that most intimate part of their lives only with each other. The first time is probably horrible for everybody - before or after marriage. But things can be corrected - look at all those people who had to marry by arranged marriages - they managed to make it work.

Answer 7

I don't know why people want to stay virgins, until they are married. If you haven't tried something, how can you tell if it's good or bad for you.
It must be quite a shock to them on their wedding night, neither knowing what they are doing, or how to please the other partner.
It used to be, that it was essential for a woman to know how to cook and keep house. But that's no longer true, you can buy prepared meals, or eat out.
Try that with sex, it's not going to work is it. If you plan to live a lifetime with someone, you should at least know, if you are sexually compatible first.

Answer 8

Most don't. When you meet someone, the first time---try and make sure it is special for you and them. Sex is about exploring intimacy so naturally, the better the inention the better the experience. It is not just about technique either. If it is awkward, there are usually lots of reasons. People who care for one another will be more likely to "work on it" rather than just chocking it up to "Bad Chemistry". Enjoy!

Answer 9

If you both stay virgins It pretty much kills the chances for getting any Sexual transmitted diseases- And since neither of you has gottten any you won't know if it's bad or not! And if your husband\Wife knows an old boyfriend than every time you have sex they might think "Hmm did she learn that from him...?" They won't be able to look at past BF\GF the same (with out thinking) Dang they had sex. It's just alot easier plus it makes SURE that you won't get pregnate (if your a girl) B4 you have a husband

Answer 10

Maybe it's called self respect, which is very admirable. Sex is not a huge part of a relationship, it's a very small part of it when you consider the time spent having sex with the rest of the time spent being a couple.

Answer 11

What if you get pregnant and your fiance turns out to be a sleezeball and abandons you.

Oh no, you're sure he's not the kind of person to do that! Well just look at all the fatherless children there are today. Looks like people who thought the same way you did were wrong.