I'm 15, and my bf is 18. We've been going out for about 7 months. My parents found out that we had sex, so they forced me to move 3 hours away. We've been talking on the phone and on Myspace ever since. Just the other day, he asked me to marry him. I said yes, but now I 'm having second thoughts. Should I get married behind my parent's back, or wait untill I'm 18 and he's 21? I love him, and don't want to wait. We're even been thinking about names for our baby! (I'm not pregnant yet!)
2006-06-19 11:51:28 · 124 answers · asked by yessytink 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wait until you are 18....if he really loves you he will wait...
2006-06-19 11:54:43 · answer #1 · answered by soccergurl13 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Your parents are only trying to protect you...believe it or not. You are only 15 and have so many years to really mature into the wonderful woman you will become. How can you marry someone when you are not of age??? You are both so very young, and I know young people never want to hear this........you really do have years ahead to decide what YOU really want. Being loved by someone is a great feeling, but the lasting marrying type of love comes with maturity. Some adults have trouble with it.....look at the divorce rate. There is no rush to be married, you still need to finish High School, so you don't look back and resent him for pushing you to grow up too fast. You will get married and you will have babies........which takes tons of your freedom away and it requires financial stability. Wouldn't you want to give your future baby a Mommy that didn't feel like she never had time for herself before being tied down? Once you have a child, it will always be there....forever. I would want time with my husband before having a child, because you will never have that alone time again once you have a child. Please, don't be in such a hurry.......you both have all the time you need. Believe it or not, you might just feel you want this even more because you feel your parents don't. Your second thoughts are correct.....use your head. If this young man really feels for you the way he says he does.....he will wait until it is the right time for both of you. Really.
2006-06-29 18:39:17 · answer #2 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love him, that love will still be there in 3 years. Indeed, if HE loves YOU he will be willing to wait as well. You also might keep in mind, he has committed a SERIOUS crime by having sex with you, a minor. Statutory Rape is not a joke and if convicted, he could be jailed and would be forced to register as a Sex Offender for the rest of his life.
Married life for young couples is hard enough without emotional support from the families. Your parents did the right thing, separating you two until you are of legal age to enter into a legal contract, which is what marriage is.
At 15, your emotions are very strong in almost any situation. Please try to step back for a while and maybe think about seeing guys closer to your own age. I realize 3 years difference doesnt seem like a lot, but the EMOTIONAL age difference seems a lot larger than the actual age difference. Your parents removed you from the situation because they want to gain a little perspective. He is NOT the only guy out there for you.
2006-06-30 14:25:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, don't get married. Not yet. With marriage comes a whole new roller coaster of Heaven and Hell. Be young and have fun. Marriage is a blessing, but blessings aren't always what you'd imagine they'd be. Sometimes these blessings are lessons, and those lessons can hurt. Take it from me. I'm 28, I've been married for just over four years, and I have made more mistakes than I ever have before I got married. In March my wife and I seperated. I wasn't the responsible man I should have been. I lied to my wife about things I never really thought would effect her love for me. But, it did. She asked me to leave, and I was dumbfounded. We fought...it was the most horrifying fight we'd ever had. Neither one of us said a word. I just packed some of my things and left. I found out a week later, that she had gotten some calls from some lady claiming to have slept with me. She knew things about my body that only my wife and I knew. I did not cheat on my wife, but, because I'd lied in the past, I couldn't convince her otherwise. Ever heard the story, "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"?
We are living together again, but under VERY strained circumstanses. I feel like I barely know her anymore, and I'm sure she feels the same about me. We have love for each other, but, where trust was a free-flowing river between us, it is now barely a trickle.
Here's a question you need to ask yourself: when you're 18 and he's 21, where's he gonna go that you can't? Sounds like a good starting point for paranoia.
WAIT!!! You'll thank yourself.
2006-06-29 05:09:10 · answer #4 · answered by Brian R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T DO IT!!!!!
I'm sure you may truly love this guy that's not the issue. The issue is if you really love each other there's no reason not to wait to get married and have a family. How are you going to take care of your kids? Kids are crazy expensive!!!! If you really love each other then keep making those plans. It's OK to talk about what you're going to name you kids, and dream about what your future is together will be like. Just hold off on the hole baby thing until you are both able to take care of them. If you really love each other then you have your whole lives together. What's waiting a few years going to hurt?
2006-07-03 06:49:49 · answer #5 · answered by miss_nursie_nurse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your too yound to get married. I thought I was ready when I was 18 and boy I am glad I didn't do it. This guy shouldn't be dating a 15 year old anyways. In most states it is illegal. Stay home with Mom and Dad as long as you can and listen to them. They may not be telling you what you want to hear but most parents have been in your spot or has known someone who has and they have alot more life expierences. If you do there is a 90% chance you will divorce.
2006-07-03 07:00:55 · answer #6 · answered by cplhuntley85 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby girl, your only 15. What you want when you are 15, and what you want when you are 25 are two totally different things. I'm not just telling you this from a mom's standpoint, it's from life experience. I married very young, as I grew up my husband and I grew apart. so @ 23 I was on my own raising three kids. I wouldn't change it because of my kids but I honestly wish I would have waited. My kids are teenagers now and my middle daughter ( now 18 and in college) went through the same thing. Even at 18 she says ow she is glad she didn't marry her high school sweetheart. always remember you are worth waiting for and if he really loves you he will want what's best for you. Never sale your self short, enjoy life. God bless baby girl!
2006-06-28 13:06:37 · answer #7 · answered by TLM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a bit young to get married and I don't think you could legally do so without your parents signing a consent form. You should at least wait until you are 18 to get married - don't be in such a rush. You also need to realize that you are still considered a child, while your boyfriend is an adult - and you two being together is illegal.
If he really loves you then waiting 3 years won't be a big deal - because if you are thinking of marriage you are talking about the rest of your lives anyway, whats waiting 3yrs to get married?
2006-06-19 11:58:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you shouldn't get married so young, you may change your mind next week about this guy, don't be in such a hurry...Take time to figure out a life of your own without this guy or any other guy for that matter. Don't be in a hurry to have a baby either, go to school get your education and establish your career, travel, have fun, buy a house then maybe you can start thinking about marriage, get yourself established first so that if marriage doesn't work out you can continue to support yourself
2006-07-03 11:20:25 · answer #9 · answered by D D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! You are way too young!! Sow your oats! See the world! Get and education! Education is your key to freedom and independence!!! YOu may feel all lost in passion right now and for a while, but once you are married and with children it takes work to make a relationship work EVERY day! It takes work make the household run!! Continue your romance, but do not marry just yet and DEFINITELY no babies just yet!!!
If you had a baby who would you count on for diapers, wipes, food, medicine??? The state?? Does your boyfriend have a good job? Does he have an education? Would he be a good provider? Would he appreciate YOU? Would he take advantage of all that you do for him???? What type of plan would you have to fall back on IF it didn't work out in the long run? Then, you have this little person you are responsible for and depending on you!
2006-07-03 05:56:29 · answer #10 · answered by hotpink1972 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uhhhhhhh.... only if you want to make a decision you will regret for the rest of your life.
You need to go to school and get your education. DON'T FREAKIN' HAVE A BABY. Trust me on that one too. I got with my husband at 18 and I regret sometimes not having the time to be single and alone as an adult. At least I had my teen years to date, though. Sweetie, you are so young. Enjoy your life now while you can, honey. Don't become a parent now. I am 26, have a GREAT job, no kids yet, and am SO GLAD I waited. You will be a better mother when you are older. Trust me. You're young and beautiful. Enjoy it. Dump this guy!!!! Get a new boyfriend and enjoy life. Quit having sex too, while your at it. :-) No use risking screwing up your life by getting an STD.
Oh yeah, and right on about the McDonald's comment. Unless you have dreams of being on welfare, get a man with a college degree. TRUST ME! OMG!
2006-06-19 12:02:04 · answer #11 · answered by NoWayOut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋