I can't take his verbal abuse. But I have a 2yr old son and I have no job and don't know where to go. My husband is a military VET and I think he had just lost it. I am half scared of him.
2006-06-19 11:35:55 · 54 answers · asked by kristen 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hey girl i know what you going trout i'm not married my boyfriend it's not a military but they have some thing an common verbal abuse i have 3 children whit him i was thinking the same way you do not working no were Else to go, until one day he came home and slap me push the younger one and i had enough that day during the night i was scared i had so much going on my head so on the morning i wake's up and i confront him it's his choice worked things out are he will never see me and the children anymore cause i don't want me and my child's dies by your hands cause now it's verbal but soon it will be worst he start screaming on me so i take my stuff and my child's and i left whit not much off money no were to go they only thinks i was thinking it's now i'm safe also my baby's and today his paying child support so girl don't wait things get worse do what you no it's best for you and your child i'm sure that you steel love each order but wen you get verbal and it's hurt do wait things get worse i hope you do the right thing good luck to you and be careful protect you and your baby
2006-06-19 12:02:19 · answer #1 · answered by gordon_francesca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find resources wherever you are and GET OUT. Verbal abuse is almost always a percursor to physical/sexual abuse. If you have family in another area that will help you, by all means, go where they are so that you have a support system. If you have to, make sure you plan this out so that you have all your paperwork (birth certificates, social security cards, identification, medical records/health insurance info, marriage license, vehicle titles and registration). Make sure you have all of these important things and put some money back and talk to someone who can help to let them know what you are going to do (like where to go). If you have to, go to a battered women's shelter near you... they can help you get started.
Verbal abuse is STILL ABUSE and again, it almost always the precursor to physical/sexual abuse. If you can work things out, you'll be in a much better situation to be safe and prove that you won't put up with that. Good luck to you.
2006-06-19 11:44:19 · answer #2 · answered by dark_storm73 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because you are married you need to do the best you can to make your marriage work..but its terrible that you are afraid of him. I think you should start being more independant and find a job that can work around ur schedule. You need to really sit him down when hes in a good mood and tell him to just listen ..and then tell him exactly how u are feeling strongly but calmly..and try to compromise with eachother. If it still doesnt work out. You need to stay with someone you can trust and depend on like ur mother or family..a close friend to give you two time apart and for you to get on ur own feet. No one deserves verbal abuse ..you can really become depressed and its not good for your 2 year old
2006-06-19 11:43:42 · answer #3 · answered by answers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can, go for a holiday to visit family. If you need to sit with him and talk to about his verbal abuse and how it hurts you. If it continues, then I would suggest a women's shelter or transition house. They are usually very good at helping with what needs to be done as far as a place to live and help find jobs and legal stuff.
A person does not deserve abuse and verbal abuse is still abuse.
2006-06-19 11:40:46 · answer #4 · answered by oddbutterfly1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arm yourself with knowledge. Find out where your local women's abuse center is. Get their telephone numbers for 24 hour contact. Keep clothes and overnight things in the trunk or at a friends house in case you have to flee. Verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and drug abuse leads to physical abuse, period. Love doesn't change that. If you can attend domestic abuse support sessions it will help educate you.
If you want to just get out because you want to divorce him for real, welfare offers help temporiarily...it is not a viable long term solution...only a trap. Make a plan and stick to it. Because your child is 2 you can ask about help with education costs, they may pay for job skill training so you can get a decent job. Day care funds, housing, education, emotional therapy and medical coverage may all be available to you also.
Understand that you are not at fault for his abusiveness but you are responsible for staying in an abusive situation. Good luck and take good care of that little man YOU are raising to respect women.
2006-06-19 11:51:10 · answer #5 · answered by JypseyJody 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out now!! why do you want to subject your young son to this mess? he'll end up growing up thinking it is OK to abuse women. i understand you are scared but you are way stronger than you believe. go stay with family or friends. if you can't do that, go to a domestic violence shelter. apply for government assistance and government housing. get your son on WIC. look for a job. contact legal aid and file for divorce. like somebody said before, your husband will have to pay temporary support until the divorce is final and support is finalized. you will realize that you can do it on your own, just have a little faith in yourself. please get out, you do not deserve this type of treatment and neither does your son. i know it is a very scary and difficult situation. i've been through it. it will only get worse. i wish you the best of luck and much happiness for the future--you deserve it.
2006-06-19 11:50:45 · answer #6 · answered by purple_euphoria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you want to do. Your son is feeding of off your feelings and his actions. You do not want a son who will hurt your feelings. So therefore take him out of that negative enviornment and put him in a new one. At this age he is very receptive and anything you do in front of him will be reapeated in some later action. First get on your feet and find a job. But you need some inner healing. Go to church. And if you have a problem with those fake people who are in some churches then go to this one if you live closeby. The name is Living Waters Worship Center. The address is 8262 Lokus RD. Odenton MD. there you will find peace and happiness I promise.
2006-06-19 11:45:08 · answer #7 · answered by michy0129 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the local YWCA and get the heck out of there. Now. Take your son with you. File for a protective order from your local district court. Find a good domestic relations attorney and start the divorce process right now. The husband/father will have to pick up your temporary support and temporary child support while you wait for your permanent support orders.
2006-06-19 11:38:09 · answer #8 · answered by MTB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have parents to go to? All states/towns have a Abused woman's shelter, you can go there for safety and they will give you a place to stay, but they might want you to put your child in childcare and take a job somewhere, they will assist you in filing for benefits from the state and also filing a restraining order to keep him away from you. Then you can file for divorce and get away from him. You really need to see a person at the Abused woman's shelter, they can give you the best and most current advice for your particular state.
Good luck
2006-06-19 11:45:36 · answer #9 · answered by Pete 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a lot of vets that have lost their minds... you do not realize the craziness they have been through and seen. It could warp anyone, but it doesn't mean you have to take abuse. Maybe you can be abusive to him back... I've seen lots of couples who verbally abuse each other and it has become like a game for them. I dunno, it's your life though.... I'm personally going to stick with any woman who births my children, coz I know that no matter how sweet things are, sooner or later, it's not going to be that great, so might as well pick one.
2006-06-19 11:40:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋