I started training a new woman for front desk as I am the front desk manager for a motel. I come to find out that my boyfriend used to date and sleep with her about five years ago. We have been together for 3 years and we are in love. But I feel nauseous and wierd just thinking about seeing her. She just started working for us and hasn't completed training yet. She is just filling in part time and isn't much of a help to us at the moment anyway. I am thinking of approaching my boss, explaining the situation, and maybe telling her this is uncomfortable for me. What should I do? Am I over reacting??
2006-06-19 11:28:05 · 11 answers · asked by Double D 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
You need to just back off. if you are comfortable in your relationship and with your man it will all be ok.
I am almost best friends with my husbands ex (I took him from her twice) and it is a great relationship. The two of you have at least one thing in common.
Remember that they broke up for a reason just let it go. He is with you now.
2006-06-19 11:33:01 · answer #1 · answered by lu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this can be a difficult situation. You used a key word. She use to sleep with your boyfriend before you even knew him. You are a manager and you should know how to professionally act towards a new employee. It isn't her fault that this just by chance happened. You have your boyfriend now not her. If working with her is too hard then maybe you should look for another job. If she isn't breaking any rules or if she isn't in violation of any kind besides the fact that she is your boyfriends X then you cant do anything to her. In fact if you try to fire her without a justified reason she can sue you. What I would do is I would ask my manager to set up a mediation. During that time I would tell both her and my boss what I feel and why. This will also give you a chance to see her reaction and possibly put you at ease. I wouldn't invite her over for dinner or become her best friend. But I would find a working relationship. It is what is in your own best interest
2006-06-19 11:41:55 · answer #2 · answered by angelsforanimals 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch yourself! How much of your opinion is colored by imagination and jealousy. Business is business. When you step through the door of your work place your mind switches all personal matters off. And that means anything to do with your and your boyfriend. Anything to do with boyfriend and trainee, anything to do with orange juice and boyfriend, anything personal. You got it? That is if you are the professional woman you want to be. You start bringing sh*t to work and it's you the management will remember that flew off the handle not her. Because for you it was out of character. You were always very businesslike and professional before, they'll say. I wonder what happened? And meanwhile you are walking out the door with the personal items from your desk. You treat this personal like you treat any other trainee or you leave yourself and the company wide to a nice little discrimination/civil rights lawsuit. You choose. Are you are a professional woman or does the Twinkie get to you?
2006-06-19 11:45:08 · answer #3 · answered by ryzent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Someone has self-esteem issues and is jealous! You didn't even know he existed at the time that they dated. Why should you take your insecurities out on an innocent person? You are a manager and you should treat evey new employee the same, regardless of how long he or she will be there.She could turn out to be a great employee and person. Give her a chance, she didn't do anything wrong.
2006-06-19 11:38:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes! you are really over reacting. If your boyfriend dated her over 5 years ago and you two have been in love for over 3 years what is bothering you. So grow up get over it he loves you and you love him so don't worry about th ex's.I think its really unfair how you are treating this lady.Imagine if your ex boyfriends girlfriends treated you the same way.
Remeber: There is a reason why we call them ex-boyfriends and ex girlfriends! Give the gurl a chance she might turn out to be a great champion.
2006-06-19 11:37:02 · answer #5 · answered by vvviki2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, first what you should do is stopping being insecure.That was then and you were not in the picture. That was their relationship, now you need to concentrate on the relationship that you have with him.Do nothing be mature and yes you are over reacting by bring others(boss) into this and instigating problems with your boyfriend's ex when her main objective is to work. My dear she is not the problem.
2006-06-19 11:42:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was in the past. Get over it and move on. Of course if your boyfriend still has feelings for her keep him away form your place of work....
It could make you seem not mature to the boss if you tell him of your discomfort. Also if it seems like an ultimatum (either her or me), you may have to find another job.
2006-06-19 11:35:20 · answer #7 · answered by wineasy03 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should keep on training her, because I think you can stand up to any situations to gain experiences in your future. Once you can handle this one, you can handle any other situations in your coming life. What's happen in the past is in the past and let it/them go,right.
2006-06-19 11:38:29 · answer #8 · answered by KghC_thegreatest 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently you don't trust your boyfriend. This happened in the past. Let it go. Best way to lose him, is jealousy over his past, and that is what it is His Past. How many boyfriends have you had, that he should worry about?
The past is gone, you can not change it.
Grow Up
2006-06-19 11:37:36 · answer #9 · answered by spiritwalker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, talk to your boss. Let her go
2006-06-19 11:36:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋