My parents have been together for so long that i cant get used to the idea of them being separated.
2006-06-19 11:16:53 · 29 answers · asked by Britt S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ouch. Sorry to hear. Age doesn't make your parent's divorce much easier. Things will be difficult, but try to stay neutral and take it one day at a time. Give yourself permission to be hurt, disappointed, mad, etc.
2006-06-19 11:21:27 · answer #1 · answered by mudhoney998 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As others have said, yes it is normal to feel upset. For so many reasons. It could be betrayal of your family values, it could fear of not knowing how things will work out, it could be the fear that "if they stop loving each other - they may stop loving you." Oh, and about a million other reasons why it could be upsetting.
But, no matter how they feel about each other, or act towards each other, or say about each other - they will still love you. And don't forget that they will be pretty upset themselves. This is a major stress on anyone.
This situation may have been coming for a long time - and they may have been waiting for you to become an adult before they broke up. Or it could be something that recently happened. Whatever the reason is, this is their lives and they are trying to do the best they can - just like you. You'd think parents would have it all figured out, but they don't always do.
I suggest you tell each of your parents that you still love them - no matter what else happens. If you're willing, you could tell them that while you don't really want to hear them bash each other, you would be willing to listen to them. They probably need to deal with the divorce and a friendly ear could be really helpful. And you might find by helping them - you wind up helping yourself.
One of the biggest causes of being upset and stress is not "being in control." While you can't magically make them settle their differences, you can control how you interact with them (although not how they interact with you.)
Good luck.
2006-06-19 11:37:32 · answer #2 · answered by speersphoto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would you rather have, Both you parents living together fighting all the time and being unhappy OR Two happy parents living in separate households? Your 21, probably moved out (if not, it won't be long). You have your own life to live without stressing over your parents. Just don't side with either of them and remember no matter what, you are their daughter and they both love you very much!
2006-06-19 11:36:59 · answer #3 · answered by snow.-.angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is normal to be upset when your parents split up. But you need to get over it. You are an adult. Things change. Do you want to have your parents stay together and be miserable for the rest of their lives? NO< of course not.
The both deserve to be happy, and if that means it will not happen together, so be it. Let them get on with their lives. They will hopefully find someone else that WILL make them happy. If you love them, then don't harass them and make them feel guilty. Be happy for them. They are not getting the divorce to hurt you.
2006-06-19 11:34:17 · answer #4 · answered by oddbutterfly1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course this is normal, however, your parents have their reasons and you are an adult now. I guess they feel like they have to live for themselves now. It is a shame that after all these years they don't feel like they can work through their problems. I'm sure there is a lot you don't know. All you can do is wish them the best on their individual endeavors and know that they both still love and care about you so that won't change.
2006-06-19 11:22:25 · answer #5 · answered by lrobxny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly you've already chosen aspects in this conflict of words. for sure your mom (a real angel with out faults or subject matters) replaced into taken for a holiday by ability of your father (an approved jerk who has no longer some thing yet demands, has someone catering to his beck and talk to, has all of his needs met) and now he needs a divorce. actually you too desire to come back down on him like a load of bricks (because it really is all his fault even at the same time as he tries to precise his aspect of the tale). Your position, justified or no longer, is clear. What are you asking about?
2016-10-14 07:49:47 · answer #6 · answered by benavidez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was about the same age as you when my parents divorced after 21 years of marriage, I was very upset about it. It is their marriage and their decision and unfortunately we have to learn how to deal with it. The main thing is try not and get in the middle of it and stay nuetral.
2006-06-19 11:24:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't matter how old you are it will always upset a child if there parents are separating it is hard to understand but would you stay with somebody just so your children wont get upset.no!you will have to learn to live with there decision and not hate either of them for it because they are not divorcing you .they will always love you.
2006-06-19 11:25:50 · answer #8 · answered by peanuts2804 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of our pain come from our expectations. People use to find themselves in the life road, use to explore and fall in love, perhaps they marry, sometime after they change again and go by different ways.
We as sons and daughter should not force them to stay together, this is the way life is. Their time together as a couple has run out, just keep loving and caring for them as they did for us when we were babies.
2006-06-19 11:21:22 · answer #9 · answered by lennier61 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents got a divorce when I was just 10, it was the worst thing ever! I couldn't stop it because I was just a "little girl". But you're 21, maybe you can stop it. Oh, and I'm sorry about it.
2006-06-19 11:20:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋