For better or worse? Who means it?

Question

I dont have enough room to elaborate in here but I did elaborate on my Yahoo 360 Blog. Please read it and help me out. I'm struggling with this.

A link to my blog about this:

http://360.yahoo.com/profile-ehHpWboic6n48XBWjm8zWDICcgQ-

Answer 1

I read your blog and I think that a marriage isn't only defined by "for better or worse". There's also the promise to love, honor and respect each other. That places responsibility on both parties, not just on one. If one lost his job, the other would support him/her until they found a new one. They'd support each other during illness, etc., but, there are boundaries, for example, when one partner willfully makes the other unhappy or treats the other disrespectfully. By doing drugs (which is illegal in any case), there's obviously no respect there. The same would apply if the one who lost his/her job would then say: okay, that's it, i'm never going back to work, now support me... afterall, we're married for better or worse and this is worse. That hardly sounds acceptable and quite frankly, I'd walk away.

Answer 2

In my opinion there are no absolutes. Each situation under the "For Better or Worse" clause in the vows is different and therefore (at least in my opinion) should be treated differently as the situation calls for.

I believe that most of the time, people deserve second chances. I like to believe that everyone has the potential to change for the better. I don't believe however that sacrificing your health, well-being, or happiness is called for in any situation.

My point is that most people won't have to use the "for better or worse" vow if they follow all the other vows first. Personally, I take all of my wedding vows very seriously. I believe that everyone else should as well.

Answer 3

Everyone should mean it when they say and vow it but most people do not and that is what is so sad about it. This would be a much better world if people meant their vows and lived by them. You chose to mmarry them no matter what for better or for worse so that means for any reason through sickness and in health and other things that come up in a marriage . The word divorce should not even be in a marriage dictionary. http://www.marriagetoday.org

Answer 4

I think that the only one who means it ... is God Himself. In a marriage, it is not merely a promise from a man to a woman (and vise versa), but a covenant with The Almighty.

What we are supposed to do is to help each other toward perfection, toward doing His will, as it is interpreted through the goodness of our spirits. To be accountable to one another, to move one another (and ourselves) toward Him and toward doing His Will. Who does this? Many try to, but other things get in the way. These things are called sins, and the more we sin, the further we move away from God. As this happens, our purpose becomes clouded, and we become confused. Our purpose is less of God's and more of our own.

If you look at life in a material sense, and think of yourself, then you will get out of a relationship that is bad for you. Marriage is not for everyone, mainly because our purpose in life is not in focus ... well, I'll speak for myself. It's alot of work to keep God as the main focus in our lives, and that is one of the main reasons why better or worse doesn't seem to work. If God were the focus, we would want to be better, and avoid worse at every possible opportunity, and also help others to become better at every opportunity. We will not be made perfect, but we would be closer to it. If our ultimate goal is to get to Heaven, then suffering on earth is not so farfetched.

Now, I'm not saying that if you are in an abusive relationship, you should stay there. I don't even know if I would. But what I am saying is that God's purpose should supercede our own.

Answer 5

I understand where you are coming from. I married for better or worse and I am doing just that. From the death of a child to other health issues to sever depression and countless moves for our jobs...But If my parents can stay married after bozing, gambling, cheating on each other and health issues..who was i to jump ship. I love my husband and we have a srong marriage but if he ever hit me or was emotionally, verbally or physically abusive...THere would be issues. I am not saying divorce right away but he would have to move out and get help.

Answer 6

I read your blog entry.

NEVER sacrifice your own well-being to support your partner. Marriage is supposed to enhance each of you, not prop one of you up at the expense of the other. Yes, there are compromises to be made, but when it comes to your own health (on all levels), security (physical and financial), and dignity, you *always* come first.

Answer 7

You should not stay in a relationship that puts your mental, physical or emotional health at risk. if you are in an abusive situation do not stay, because once they hit you they will never respect you, and if it is that the other person is cheating on you, think about aids and venereal diseases, if you decide to stay have him/her tested and you should get tested too.

Answer 8

I meant it and I do mean it. Even dealing with mother in law problems, no job, etc. I married and made those vows in front of family and God.

Answer 9

you have to set boundries within yourself. figure out at what point that it is that trust is broken. my best motto is: do unto others. and if some one has done to you something you would not do, bam. i beleive a firm relationship is based on trust, compromise, and respect. if you feel yourself that you are being unrealistic, lower your expectations. but never compromise your personal boundries.