My man and I have been discussing marriage and he has always told me that Im the perfect girl....well we found out we are pregnant, then got married 3 days ago....the past 3 days hes acted weird and this morning he told me he wants an annolement (early divorce) because he wants to be 100% positive that Im the girl for him.......ouch!........um what do ya'll think of this.......
2006-06-19 11:06:23 · 10 answers · asked by brittyee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think he is being ridiculous. He seems like he is either unsure of what he wants or that the idea of marriage overwhelmed him and he doesn't know what to do. You need to talk to him about this situation and about how you feel. You have a baby on the way and if you are both going to stay together and form a family - there is no reason you shouldn't be married. Marriage is the ultimate expression of love and commitment between two people.
Be honest with him and ask him if he'd go to marriage counseling before getting an annulment. Counseling might help a lot and give you guys a great foundation for our marriage.
2006-06-19 11:15:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To answer your question as to why he's acting like this. Well if he wasn't 100% positive that you were the girl that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, then he shouldn't have asked you to marry him until he was 100% certain. Since there's a baby involved now, it could be making him nervous and his mind is running overtime thinking that maybe he'll mess up somehow and fail as a father and husband. Sit him down and talk to him about it. Ask him why he is thinking differently now rather than before anything happened. Talk to him about both of you going to see a marriage counselor, to maybe try and work things out for your baby's sake. A baby needs both parents not just one. A baby is created by 2 people not just one and he needs to know that you aren't going to change your feelings about him even with the baby. Some men get a sense of jealousy when there's a new baby involved just because he knows that you won't be paying very much attention to him as you will with the baby. Let him know that no matter what you're still going to be there for him and support his decisions, but would like to try and make the marriage work. But remember that you can only use a baby as a key to keeping him around. My sister is going through the same thing with her husband of 3 years now. He's completely changed since the baby was born. But I'm sure its just his nerves getting the best of him. If for any reason it won't work out between you two, ask him if he wants to have joint custody so that he still has the opportunity to see his son or daughter you don't want to exclude him from the baby's life. As for the child support if it should come to that point, make a written agreement and make sure you both sign the paper, most importantly him though so for some reason he changes his mind about that as well, you will have something to take to court as evidence. I'm sure that he'll come around and everything will be just fine.
2006-06-19 18:38:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably freaked out. He's got marriage and a new baby on the way those are some pretty huge changes. Did you guys get married because you found out you were pregnant? If so his behavior indicates he wasn't ready for marriage but did in some misguided way to do the right thing. You two should go to couples counseling and sit down and have a huge talk.
2006-06-19 18:18:11 · answer #3 · answered by butterflykisses427 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch is right! Sounds like he was trying to do the "right thing" by marrying you since you're pregnant. But, it's better to get an annulment now than to put a child through a divorce later on. I certainly wouldn't be marrying him (again)any time soon though, if at all.
2006-06-19 18:16:20 · answer #4 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is normal. he is in shell shock that is too many large life changing events for one man in such a short time. Talk to him and ask if he could just ride it out to see if it gets better. Also let him know that you can request an annulment for up to the first six months. Good luck and just know this has nothing to do with you.
2006-06-19 18:15:10 · answer #5 · answered by 4X4 Woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing I would suggest doing is getting counseling to see if you can get to the root of his fears, because that might be all it is, fear of marriage and of being a father, which are 2 big life changing events.
2006-06-19 18:15:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he might as well start making out the child support payments checks now. He'll have to eventually and why put off tomorrow what he can do today?
2006-06-19 18:12:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well just tell him to start writing that check for his baby , and i would left him alone , believe me he will be back but if i was u i would not take his *** back i would not care how much money or car u try to give me if he did not want u while u was pregant why do he want u now
2006-06-19 18:38:38 · answer #8 · answered by angel h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, he is so bogus! give him what he want. you cant make someone be with you if thats not where they want to be. the hell with him. if you do give him what he want, its no turning back. you gotta stand on it.
2006-06-19 18:27:29 · answer #9 · answered by blackchina46h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say u should tell him off cuz apparently its something else he want to do
2006-06-19 18:12:03 · answer #10 · answered by msunlady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋