I dont want to be mean, I pray about it all the time, the strenght to be nice, but what if they are just unlikable. I dont know what to do. I love my husband and dont want to disrespect him. Does anyone else feel the same? Am I evil for wishing they didnt exist?
2006-06-19 10:17:12 · 18 answers · asked by cutiepie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes i feel the same way, i've always had a low tolerance for other peoples children (they never seem to know how to behave), the fact is though that this is a pretty major thing and you probably shouldn't have married him. how old are the kids? there is hope, they get more tolerable as they get older, some kids go through phases where they are just truly annoying but can grow out of it. how often does he have them, be busy alot or get a job where you go out of town when they are there!
i was in this situation and it was horrible, i knew every wednesday and every other weekend of my life was going to be HELL! not to mention he let the kid get away with murder and that made me really crazy because its then either very unfair or a very bad influence on my kids because there was no way they were behaving like that. luckily we aren't married anymore but he kind of lost interest in the kid (thats horrible but i was relieved) so either way its not my problem anymore :):)
2006-06-19 10:23:38 · answer #1 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How To Deal With Stepchildren
2016-10-06 08:07:17 · answer #2 · answered by schmiesing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The feelings are perfectly normal. JUST KEEP THEM TO YOURSELF. If you discuss it with your husband, it will put a rift between the two of you.
"Play" nice with the children... like you would an acquaintances child... and especially if he only has visitation, the time you have to "put up" with them is limited. Try your best to be pleasant at all costs.
I mean no disrespect to you... but look within yourself and contemplate if -perhaps- you are a bit jealous of them.
When all is said and done though - this is the man you decided to marry... for better or worse.
The feelings do not make you evil - if you act on those feelings - THAT would be.
2006-06-19 10:30:52 · answer #3 · answered by daddy's girl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
NOOOOO...not eveil at all,.. I have a stepkid that Ive had to do the same thing on..PRAY....I pray not to feel the way I do. I so many negative feelings thats its already hard to feel loving, but now to top it off the child just has issue after issue...and it just makes me not even want to deal with her. I dont see her as my child..or even my step child,,, I simply see her as my husband's other daughter. I'm not mean to her and I try not to treat her any certain way...I just keep my distance when she's around. Its hard, because I want to say this and say that...but if i do Im just being hateful or whatever, so that makes it that much harder to feel for her, because I cant get close. I can I if I have no say so whatsoever over anything dealing with her. You evil thoughts are just human thoughts I think, Ive wished she didnt exist, that her mother never existed..all that. I cant even celebrate her birthday, because I literally feel ther is nothing at all to celebrate, it was one of the worst days to come to be as far as I was concerned. Why would I celebrate the birth of a child that was not wanted and caused havoc in my soul. But, with all these feelings, I still keep them to myself and try to deal with the situation the best way I can, because I do love my husband and we do have other children that I wouldnt want to put my feeling in front of. Its a hard way to live, but hey, you have to make your choices and live with them, so if you can live with whatever you decide....then it was the right choice for you.
2014-02-26 09:15:29 · answer #4 · answered by yasma w 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put the shoe on the other foot. How do you think the kids feel. They are the ones that are probably hurting. Just give it time and try to be more active with them. You are married to their father and what if you get tired of it and ask him its either me or the kids, who do you think he'll choose. Just look at it like this, you married him and whatever baggage came along with him. You are a family now don't let your feelings get to bad for the kids because you may start feeling that way towards your husband and what do you think will happen. Good Luck.
2006-06-19 10:26:41 · answer #5 · answered by mel 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear madam,
Well,are U very poor,I means both on "money accounts),and the "situation",or your "location",if maybe, it 's somewhat about fate(I means past life) and Fungshui,if U feel and think after thorough soul seraching,well I understand and agree deeply with U,that in this direction,mostly U felt,nobody understand and support,oh,my dear please don't cry,stand up, I lend U my shoulder,never mind I am an old grandmother.
When I was young, i did experience something like U,and much poor,during World World II, I cannot cry even,everything will get over soon,I hear U from within can U feel that there is a stoke of healing energy flow to U,from your old grandmother, of my unconditional love,everything will get over,soon,very soon,...
I promised,why,tell me,but no need to found me,I not always charge, it is Ok,unconditioned,really no need to thank me, looking forward to the future,look upon to the sky,see GOD sent U here,he can hear U crying,sweep your teardrops !
"Rest if U must,but never quit,the bright future is lining ahead of you....yes,cheers up,my dear,yes,smile again!
(I share this account with Elenali Reiki without charge)
Love U!
2006-06-19 10:37:48 · answer #6 · answered by russclara 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Thats hard trying to be a parent to kids you don't like....Just try to treat them as your own it may be hard but just imagine if you were the kids with a new step mom you might not be likeable either....make sure your husband knows you are trying to make an effort kids can make or a break a relationship Good luck to ya!
2006-06-19 10:37:27 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ Ash ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may need parenting classes and help to be a mom and step parent that you need to be. Just be their friend and be there when they want you to be . Do not push yourself on them and get to know them. Do fun things with them and with your husband together. Go to a park or something with them and just spend time getting to know them. You are not evil you are just needing to change your way of thinking. You need to accept them as part of the packaged deal. When you married him they became a part of that marriage and unity and you will have to learn to accept that.
I am a step dad and it was really hard at first and i am still adjusting but i do love them and am learning to be a better father. They youngest is just like my own child and her and i have a bond . That came naturally but the oldest son and i are still working on things and slowly working on things and our relationship and my wife is being very patient and loving with me through this. I thank God i have the wife that i have and how patient and giving she is to me and to this marriage.
2006-06-19 10:30:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, you're not evil. Unlikable children are just unlikable. Just bear with them til they are old enough to leave home. Have as little to do with them as possible. If you are too nice to them, don't be. Be firm and treat them with no nonsense. Allow them no leeway. Unlikable children do not deserve niceness.
2006-06-19 10:24:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a over-spoiled under achiever of a 18 almost 19 year old stepdaughter who is making my life at home unbearable. She needs to go live with her mother or someone else.
I feel for you.
2006-06-19 10:21:58 · answer #10 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋