My parents KINDA have a divorce (its not final, but my dad moved out and everything), and tommorow is the first time me and my bro will be switching off (the whole time we have been with my mom, but tommorow we r gonna stay with our dad, i was with him almost all weekend though) and me and my buds r having a slumber party tommorow night that we planned yesterday, my dad just called and said i would be with him tommorow then thursday though. i REALLY wanna spend the night with my friends, but i feel bad asking instead of going to my dads place. please help, this is all VERY VERY VERY new to me!
2006-06-19 09:42:33 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i know i should spend time with him! but.... just..... i dunno! now i feel bad even asking! i am kinda emotional right now and so now i am crying thinking of how selfish i was to think of this!
2006-06-19 09:53:48 · update #1
I'm sure this must be strange and confusing. Your father, I'm sure, wants to spend time with you. But also he needs to respect your other relationships and plans. I think you should have an open, honest discussion with both your mother and father. Planning in advance will help avoid these sticky situations.
2006-06-19 09:45:35 · answer #1 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell your dad that you already had plans made for a while and this is very important to you. But you will spend time with him on his next turn or whatever. Don;t feel bad they are the ones that divorced and you need to try to have a much as possible "normal" life right now..good luck
2006-06-19 09:48:02 · answer #2 · answered by sweet_lovable_girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off, divorce sucks for you to have to go through.
I have a 17 year old daughter that I love with everything I've got. It's very important to me that I get to spend as much time as I can with her. Your friends will come and go, your dad will always be your dad.
And another thing, your dad is probably very upset right now. I can not possibly explain to you how much better I feel just to see my daughter. Her voice makes everything alright. I'm positive that your dad feels the same way about you right now.
Go to your fathers house and tell him you love him, He really needs a big hug.
2006-06-19 09:48:06 · answer #3 · answered by stratplayer1967 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your dad about it. Don't just listen to his words, though. Watch the expressions on his face too. He might be okay with you going and spending some of "his" time with your friends, and he might not be. The best way to know how someone feels is to ask. Your friends will understand if you can't have a slumber party with them.
2006-06-19 09:48:02 · answer #4 · answered by Gina C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I agree with the first answer. Now is the time to have a discussion with both your parents. Don't feel guilty about wanting to spend time with your friends, that is very normal for someone your age. Remember that this all new for your parents as well, so be patient with each other. I'm sure that your father won't have a problem with you spending part of the time with your friends. Just be honest with him. Best of luck as you adjust to such a major change in your life.
2006-06-19 09:49:11 · answer #5 · answered by keri gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad may need you more right now that you need you friends, Divorce is serious for parents-it is especially bad for parents with children. I don't want to scare you but more people take their own life in this situation that all the rest put together. Be mindful of both parents until this situation stabilizes.
2006-06-19 09:52:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go be with your friends. Do NOT let your parents divorce make you feel bad and stop your plans and stop you from having your time with your friends at times you make plans ahead of time. As long as you give your parents notice before hand and get permission-@ least a week there shouldn't be a problem.The reason I say this is because my kid totally shut down and became depressed when her father and I divorced. Just be with your friends. I am sure your father won't mind it.
2006-06-19 09:49:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
who's more important, your dad or your friends? besides think about it, not only you and your brother are going trough a hard time but your parents as weel. i think its probably harder for them after spending all their life together having to break up. you should support your parents even if it means sometimes you have to give up on thing you want, like going out with your friends. Remember parents are human too and they also have feelings. I recommend you to talk to your dad whenever you have the time and tell him you know it's also hard for him and that he can count on you for anything he needs. You're going to make him the happiest he's been in a long time believe me.
2006-06-19 09:47:21 · answer #8 · answered by adri super feliz forever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can't say that I've got divorced parents, but being that I am dating a man who is divorced and sees his daughter every blue moon, I think you should see your dad. You can always plan to see your friends the next weekend, right? Really, it's important to see your dad, for him and for you!!!
2006-06-19 09:47:11 · answer #9 · answered by terrapinqueen76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone involved are going to have to make adjustments, you and your brother are going to have plans of your own and when they fall on whoevers schedule they should make allowances to let you have time with your friends....it being in the beginning stages of such arrangements makes it seem awkward but you need to call Dad back up and explain...He will understand and may be able to make adjustments to still have quality time with you...just keep the line of communication open with both parents...good luck.
2006-06-19 09:53:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋