i am now in my early 20s and at an early age my mom divorced my dad later remarried my step-dad which i see as my father, he has been there for me more than my real dad (havent spoken to him in over 15yrs) my mom recently left my step-dad for another man and now engaged. i have accepted him as her bf but should i accept him as her husband? her 2nd divorce hurt more then the 1st. How do i deal with this situation? do i blow it off?
2006-06-19 09:23:51 · 31 answers · asked by odadaisy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To be honest no body really knows how it feels unless they are actually in the situation because when it comes to talking in terms of advice, any1 can do it ... i know it must be hard on you but you can still keep intouch with your stepfather and you should accept your mothers husband as her husband just beacuse you love her so much and you want her to be happy. She wouldn't want to see you upset beacause of her. At the end of the day every1 grows and moves on in general... your step father must love you very much and the best thing is that you can still see him and talk to him you are not forbidden to do so ... but you have to accept that maybe your mother wasn't so happy with her husband as you were with your new father... your mother deserves to be happy and so do you ...
i wish you all the best and God Bless
2006-06-19 09:34:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 2⤋
You don't have to blow it off - you can tell your mom how you feel. Since you are an adult your mom's 2nd hubby will always be your dad and you shouldn't stop having a relationship just because they aren't together anymore. This new guy she is marrying is going to be her new husband - not your dad or even your step dad.
Accept him and respect him as your mother's partner. If he makes her happy then you should be happy for her.
2006-06-19 16:29:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a really hard one. But, since you are an adult, at least you don't have to have a new 'father' in the house with you. As much as it hurts, let your mom know you are there for her no matter what, treat your new step father cordially, and remain close to your first step father. Just because we don't like the choices people make doesn't mean we can't still love them and stand beside them. I wish you and your mom much happiness.
2006-06-19 16:27:18 · answer #3 · answered by Amy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blow it off. You are 20 years old now. You are grown and so is your mom-she can make her own decisions. If your mom loves this man, then you need not worry yourself about it unless he is harming your mom in some way. Stop living in the past (your moms marriages), and move on with your life. She has. Let her be happy, and give her your blessings..... And it does not matter if you except him as her husband or not, you are grown now--its about time to leave the nest anyway!!
2006-06-19 16:45:34 · answer #4 · answered by Poetess_4U 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is WHY she divorced a second time, then you can decide how to deal with the situation. I had a teacher in school who divorced 7 times before she became truly happy, so talk to your mom and figure out what went wrong.
2006-06-19 16:26:45 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. My mom is currently working on her third marriage. He happens to be 22 years younger then she is lol. I find it hard to see him as a step father so I just say he is the man my mom married. As long as she is happy then I won't cause any trouble, but just because he married her doesn't mean I have to like him. I am 20 myself and pretty much know what your going through. I usually just try to get along with him and keep my mouth shut lol.
2006-06-19 16:38:33 · answer #6 · answered by Tenshi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can recognize him as her husband, but at your age he doesn't have to be your father. Continue calling your step-dad, (her 2nd husband) Dad, and call the new husband if she marries him by his first name. Once your parents get married to someone and they become a step-relation, the relationship doesn' t go away if they divorce.
2006-06-19 16:37:19 · answer #7 · answered by Georgia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't make him out to e the bad guy. He wasn't in the picture the first two times and has come after the fact. Talk to your mom. Express your concerns. She's made a few mistakes in her life and her new bf is willing to let bygones be bygones. I think you should too. And I hope that when you get married , the first time will be for life. (Married 13 years with four children and still on our honeymoon:).
2006-06-19 16:33:23 · answer #8 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least you are a young adult whose able to go out in the world and began your own life. Your Mom is going to do what makes her happy, so, try not to stress over it. You may not be happy for her because of the guy, but don't mess up your relationship with her because of it. Who knows, it may be the right one, finally.
2006-06-19 16:30:10 · answer #9 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't blow it off tell ur mom how u feel. and my mom did the same thing but i am 17 and i live with my real dad. i hate my step-dad with a passion. and my moms bf is pretty cool but i don't see him as a step-dad. so u ask your mom and talk to them both
2006-06-19 16:28:38 · answer #10 · answered by R.O.D.Y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋