How do you talk to a mother who knows it all?

Question

My mother has an attitude of I've been there done that and I know it all. It's so hard to talk to her wothout being cut off ar corrected before I finish my thoughts; and it's driving me crazy I can't take it anymore.

Answer 1

First, Darlin', know that she wants 2 things. One, to be valuable, and two, she really is trying (in her own way) to look out for you. My son (Ian) and I just had this conversation yesterday. He (Ian) is almost 28 now and we were talking about Mike, his brother (they are twins) who got engaged at 20 to a woman 7 years older than he was. At the time I told his brother that he was too young and inexperienced to be ruling out his options, and that marring a woman that did have experience would mean that he would never win an argument with her or be equal in the relationship. He (Mike) thought I was raining on his parade. Yesterday his brother (Ian) and I were talking about how it is so hard to shut your mouth when you have had years of experience and know what your children don't. Ian was saying that he wished that his brother (who is now married with a small child) had listened, and that he can now really understand how frustrating it is for a parent to have experience and want to protect their child.

It is really hard on your mom for you to grow up. She is afraid that you won't need her anymore and she is trying to prove her worth by giving advice, a little too enthusiastic, I agree, but still, try to keep where she's coming from in mind. So, why don't you try this. The next time you are expressing a thought and she cuts you off, say "wait just a second, Mom. I really want to know what you think and I want to make sure you have all my thoughts before you give me yours, that way you will have all the information and I won't have to interrupt you." Try it and let me know if it works. If it doesn't, I can think of a couple of other tactics.
Good luck!

Answer 2

with honesty.

And yes. I am sure your mother has an attitude of she has been there done that and she know it all!! She is older than you.

I have no idea how old you are or your mother but it is simple: you need to work on your relationship.

Simply learn how to talk to each other and lessen to each other and believe me you can learn from her so much!!

In the meantime, you can share your experiences (school, friends, etc) and advise her of things she was not exposed to at school at your age: now, there is drugs, etc..

If she talks as you talk, get quiet and just lesson. She will do it again, just get quiet and lesson. If she ask what is wrong, politely (!)just ask her, if is it you talking or her, as if it is her you willing to lesson, but if it is you, you will very much appreciate if she lessens and hears you, as you feel it is important.

She will learn.. maybe she does not even know she does it..? she might feel very close to you and she also might feel that you getting aggravated shows just immaturity on your side. Next time she interferes or finishes your sentences just keep quite and than quietly and gently ask her if you can finish, and how important it is for you for her to know what is going on in your life. One more thing you can do. Keep a small diary with you and mark points every time she interrupts you again.. then tell her how often she does it.. she might get a big shock.

If that does not help, suggest to her to go to family counselling, and let the, as an outsider, let your mum... to stop. She for sure will interrupt while you will be talking.

Good luck: but please, love your Mum!!!

ps. yet another way is writing her a letter and telling her how you feel. It will give her a chance to read it when you not around (You might be at friends or something) and you will not have to worry about any confrontation. It worth a shot!!

Answer 3

There is not much you can do, except tell her how you feel. Perhaps in a letter, that way she can't interupt you. But you have to realize that your mom has been this way for a long time and she is not likely to change. If you can't take it anymore, the best thing to do is to make sure that you have your act together and move out on your own. Get your highschool diploma and a job and become more independent. Also, you can't see it now but, there will come a day when you will miss your moms wisdom. She is a "know it all" now, but when you don't have her anymore, you will know that it was wisdom, she was trying to share with you. Good Luck.

Answer 4

I have the same problem. I dont know how old you are but I am 21 and I realize you cant correct what your mom is saying to you because she is trying to get through your head that she doesnt want you to make the same mistakes as she did. She is only looking out after you, take that into consideration. At least you have a mom that is always on your *** about everything. The majority of moms out there they want to be your best friend than a mom. I rather have a mom that is super strict than a best friend that I can take to parties with. It took me til 18 to have sex with my boyfriend because I was so scared of my mom. So I mean, just try to talk to her in a calm way never in an arguement way, just sit down and talk.

Answer 5

you didn't say how old you are...maybe you need to make sure you are 'talking' to her and not approaching it with an attitude, once you make sure of that tell her sometimes you just need her to listen also show some respect, i know you don't get it but she has been there and done that and knows a whole lot more than you, which you will never even begin to grasp until you are old enough to have done it yourself, but trust me thats the way it is. her approach might be a little rough around the edges but she truly does only want the best for you, she wants to save you the struggles and heartaches she has endured.

Answer 6

Try and say " I appreciate your advice and know you have experience in this subject but could you listen to what I am going thru?" Tell her it really upsets you when she cuts you off, tell her it makes you feel like she doesn't respect you as a person. You could also try and tell her she has had her "experiences" and made her into the person she is now but you want to learn on your own and have your own life lessons. Good luck!

Answer 7

Have you own children and join the dirty right of passage or choose to change what you can and break the cycle. You and your children will be better people and parents. We all should look within ourselves to see how we can break these generational curses. Living in better peace and harmony is the better way.

Answer 8

Sit down with her and set some conversation rules. Use a tennis ball to take turns talking. If you have the ball, you get to talk uninterrupted. See if that works for you.

Answer 9

Talk to her honestly - tell her that you would just like her to listen and not comment until you are done speaking. She might not even realize how her cutting you off affects you - so you have to tell her.

Answer 10

i imagine it replaced right into a wonderful message and communicate in case you're a appropriate little Molly Mormon mom. in case you sense like you fall short in those regularly occurring "mormon strategies" then it would make you sense undesirable - and it did me. i does no longer say it disenchanted me and that i'd not frequently imagine a retraction replaced into so as. i understand and prefer myself sufficient to comprehend that the "PERFECTIONISM" thoughts-set & mentality frequently expressed or felt in the mormon subculture is a truth that i visit both purchase into or comprehend that i visit in reality be the most appropriate human being i'd be and that i shouldn't sense forced into being LIKE all people else OR appropriate. the in reality human being I could be attempting to emulate in my existence is my Savior Jesus Christ no longer some molly mormon of a alleviation Society Sister or mom who actually isn't appropriate both no remember how a lot she quilts or continues to be at domicile or chefs or makes her little ones clothing or cans nutrition or gardens or attends the temple 5x a week or is the picture of appropriate at the same time as at church - SHE isn't appropriate both. Making human beings sense in charge for who they don't seem isn't any thanks to inspire them. i idea that communicate replaced right into somewhat alongside those lines in my opinion. yet I talked about and realized the reliable in it as well and merely took it with a grain of salt.. i'm no longer and could not be a appropriate mom, a appropriate spouse, a appropriate mormon or a appropriate human being - i visit in reality save enduring to the right with as a lot faith as i visit muster! and that is all any individuals can do. the position our HEARTS are is all that concerns in the right and God on my own will fortunately choose that - no longer my alleviation Society President or all people else. SORRY, you requested - it really is my attitude like it or no longer.