I have a roommate who I have fallen in love with. We have not had sex but we do play with eachother, hug, kiss, backrubs, snuggle. We go to the mall and we will go into jewerly stores and we look at engament rings for fun. But then he has told me at least 4 or 5 times that he can not marry me.
Now I am married (8yrs) my husband has not been home sience April. I met up with the husband on May 12th. He is a truck driver. My husband has lied to me a lot as well as tell me that I am a waste of time the marriage is a waste of time. He has thrown his ring at me and just make me feel 2" high.
I have thought of divorce sence 2004. The roommate moved in in 2005. We do not have any kids. I just need some guy advice please!!
2006-06-19 09:00:57 · 28 answers · asked by firecrackertx 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
does it mean that he does want to marry me eventhough he tells me that he can not marry me? Do you as a guy take a friend that is a girl into a jewerly store for fun?
2006-06-19 09:04:22 · update #1
If your husband is making you feel '2" High' then divorce him, nobody should feel like that.. And if you really DO have feelings for your roommate, then think about getting together with him, if he doesnt want to get married, then thats not the end of the world.. Is it?
2006-06-19 09:04:12 · answer #1 · answered by So Scream Louder 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First off, get a divorce. There is no reason to stay married to a man like that. As for the roommate, maybe things will change after the divorce but I'm not real sure if he sees you as anything but a friend. At some point you will simply have to decide if your willing to settle for just a friend or need more in your life. Regardless get the divorce so you can explore your options in life and seek the happiness you deserve.
2006-06-19 16:09:36 · answer #2 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thinking of divorce is not getting a divorce. WHen you started "thinking" about divorce doesn't matter. Every day you are living married to your husband you are re-affirming the commitment to him and are just as guilty if you break it. Cheating is not cool and you are a cheater.
It was a mistake to move in with another man while you were still married. Thank God you are not pregnant.
1) Divorce your husband.
2) Get your own place not with someone you are sleeping with or want to sleep with.
3) Fix your life and your finances and sleep with whoever you want without feeling guilty
4) Use protection every time.
5) Don't move in with a guy or get married until you have sorted out your many, many issues.
---Additional stuff.
He can't marry you means he wants to sleep with you only and wants no commitment. In fact I'll predict that if you divorce your husband, he'll sleep with you like crazy then move out once the divorce is final.
2006-06-19 16:08:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look what you living right now is very common in many marriages specially the long term ones.
Why because either of you feel so stupid secure of the other person that
Never ever is going to move away no matter what any of you guys do.
Wrong huh.
Then the lack of true communication .
Here is very personal point of view of what you should do
Much before you think of been unfaithful.
First please talk to your husband give a chance ( a real one )
To correct him self.
Give him all kind of information about how you feel.
So you can make decisions
But do not do it fighting.
Then if it does no work, get divorce
The go on with any new relationship you want to.
Good luck…..
2006-06-19 17:58:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do u need guy advice? If ur husband is abusive get out of the situation- I wouldnt count on any commitment from the roommate though. He doesn't sound like he wants anything serious. You need to break off everything, take time to collect your thoughts and see what it is that YOU want.. not your husband and roommate. In the end they will go their own way if that's what they want... make sure you don't lose YOU in all of this.. invest in some 'me time' and improve your self esteem. Your husband sounds like a jerk.
2006-06-19 16:06:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a guy but can say you VERY confused.
1. Guy told you he cant marry you...
2. You are married.
3. Before you can get married you must get divorced
4. Do you blame your husband to say marriage is over if you 'snuggling' to another man, you lucky he did not do something worse..
5. You must make a decision to stay or leave this marriage based on the marriage not your friend!!
6. Be honest with your friend and ask him straight: will you marry me or not 'if I divorce my husband'.. even if he will say yes, dont be suprised if he will not do it once you divorced.. many man dont want woman hwho cheated.
now, simple good luck is in order.
ps. Guys will take girls to store like that because he knows that is what you want!!!! not because he wants to guy you a ring!!! Please, dont be galable. Let me tell you, and all those guys will confirm, I am sure.. GUY SAY what they want. OUTRIGHT!! They say it. If they dont say it, it means they dont want it. It is woman who send mixed signals. This guy said he cant marry you. That is it.
2006-06-19 16:03:36 · answer #6 · answered by Desert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he says he won't marry you, why go any further, also, it might help to ask why wont he marry you. That could give you a clue on what's going on, and if there's anything you can do about it. By the way, it will always be good, if whatever he says, in your mind, "hear it" as if a friend of yours was telling you what some guy told her, so that you are abble to analize this, from an outside point of view. Better judgment.
2006-06-19 16:04:57 · answer #7 · answered by RALR 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st if your marriage isn't working either fix it or more likely it sounds like you should get out of it . How do you feel about your roomate? Do you want to get involved with him knowing that he has made it clear he does not want to get married. How is your husband going to feel if he finds out? Even though he may act like he doesn't care about you or your marriage he may not like finding out you fooled around on him. At the very least he could use that against you in a divorce and make you look like the unfaithful one. Those are things to think about.
2006-06-19 16:14:36 · answer #8 · answered by Robert P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really don't need a man's advice. A woman can feel where your coming from. What you do is divorce your husband because it sounds like he don't care about you and if this friend really likes you give it a try but, not to be on the rebound. You definitely needs to get a divorce and break his a$$!
2006-06-19 16:09:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like none of these guys deserve you. The fact that your roomate just wants to mess around and not commit shows what kind of a person he really is. As for your husband 8 years is along time but if he takes you for ggranted and doesnt care a divorve should be more rational. its better than taking the pain every time he ignores you. Go out and find a decent guy who will fall in love with you,take you out,compliment you every day,and be greatful for you every time he wakes up next to you.Guys or Girls who arent afraid to commit are always "The Right Ones". I wish I could find a girl who wouldnt want to spend her life drinking and hanging out with random guys every day.
2006-06-19 16:07:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋