how do i get rid of my possesiveness?

Question

i hate to tell my girlfriend to stop taking to the other guys ...well i havnt told her yet bt what should i do ..i dont want to make her feel bad.

Answer 1

The reason that you consider her your girlfriend is because you both have come to an agreement that you going to have a relationship. You should focus on what that relationship is going to be. I am pretty sure she would have never agreed to have a relationship with you if you told her it was going to be that she could only verbally communicate with you. It's not the person it's the relationship that is unfulfilling. Someone is going to always love you, so don't push the panic button. Just relax and enjoy your relationship.

Answer 2

I used to be the same way with my bf. I went through alot of hard times back then and stress took a toll on me which sent my self esteem way down! I missed that feeling of being "beautiful"..I got really insecure and every girl he lookedt at, talked to, or had know for a long time..i pretty much blew up at him over it. We came to an agreement that I'd work on my situation..after I picked pieces of my life back together and realized he was with me because he loved me it just all seemed to click again. It wasn't a fast thing, but it was on a pace enought to where I didn't have to lose one of the most important people in my life. Possesiveness, jealousy, no trust will ruin anything. Take it one step at a time with her. Good luck, God bless.

Answer 3

I assume that you are talking about be possessive of people and not things. First, realize that you own no one or anything. God is the possessor of all because he is the creator of all. Even your thoughts belong to him. You have never had an original idea in your life, and that goes for everyone else that has ever lived or shall ever live. Everyone requires space---you cannot crowd people. If you do so, then you will loose them. If you do not want to loose your girlfriend, then I suggest that you change your view of her. Do not look at her as a possession, but as a wonderfully made person who was made to live according to God's individual plan for her just as he made you. Let go of her. Let her breathe. I know that you have not smothered her yet, but that is your intent. She will fight you on this. In so much as she talks to other people on the phone she seems no inclined toward being possessed. Love with the love of God.

Answer 4

At the root of your possessiveness is the insecurity or fear that your girlfriend will leave you. But, in truth, the only person you ever really have the power to control is yourself. Be happy. Do what makes you happy. If you value your girlfriend and want to keep her, work on making her happy. Your deeds to share pleasurable experiences with her will count for far more than the cheap talk of others. However, if, after your efforts, she prefers the talk and/or companionship of others... then she probably wasn't really the girl you thought she was. In which case, her departure will open the way for you to find someone better suited for you. Above all, stay calm, stay centered, and work on finding happiness in your life with or without her. Life is short, after all.

Answer 5

If your possessiveness is coming from your true love, you will be eventually able stand what she does. If it is coming from your ego, well, your feelings towerd her will be worse and worse. In either way, telling what you truly feel about your girlfriend is important. The more you think about , the more stress you may have.

The way you tell your girlfriend seems more important. Tell her when you feel right, without emotions. You have to have the confidence not to get mad during conversation, and be reasonable . If she does not care about you, she will back off..... but that's the way it is. If she loves you, you and your girlfriend will be able to have a mutual understanding .

Answer 6

It will make her feel bad in that she will feel you dont trust that she can handle herself when talking to other guys. But let her understand that you love her and in a way if she loves you, it wont be a problem to compromise. But also, you should be ready to compromise too. Talking to the opposite sex is normal, especially since both of you are still in this world. Interaction is necessary for people to grow and know oneself better. So, dont make what she is doing a bad thing. It is not.

Answer 7

Yep, i've come across this problem with a girl i know (she's gonna read this i know). You can rid yourself of possessiveness simply by letting go. realize that you do not have any claim over one another and the true beauty in a relationship is the trust that you can let her talk to those guys and she will be faithful in mind as well as in body. I have many female friends and the beautiful woman i referred to above is none too happy with that fact but she can trust me. Its just a natural worry and fear that we're gonna lose someone we just found and deeply cherish. None of us are together, we stand beside one another, not in the shadow of ownership but in the light of belonging to one another. Love-no matter how far in your relationship you are-is not a binding thing but rather a sea between the shores of your souls. Remember this. If you cannot find the courage to allow her to talk to other guys then find the bravery to talk with her about it. But remember talk WITH her, not TO her.

Answer 8

since this is a learned habit,it will take you a while to dismiss this bad behavior,however with some practice it can be accomplished,each time you feel like you must control others count to fifty,quietly to your self,while taking this time out reason with yourself why it isn't a good idea to control others,remember how it is making you feel,i am sure with time you will become the person,you know,you can be.good luck.

Answer 9

You might as welll realize that if someone is going to cheat, you cannot stop them. Realize also that it is your own insecurity that is causing the problem. Learn to realx and enjoy life with her instead of creating an obstacle for both of you.

Answer 10

Jealousy will only drive her away. Become friends with her friends. Be a trustworthy companion and let her be a free person. The one thing you should not hold onto is your insecurity.