Basically what I am asking is, if you know a person needs to have something healthy but they refuse to take what you give them as in advice, how do you get them to see the truth of themselves? Example: A relative of mine who is a drinker/partier and will not confront his addictions head on no matter how many times he says he understands my complaint and will try and take to going to counseling, etc but then never shows up for it.
2006-06-19 08:50:53 · 19 answers · asked by duntnoduntcare 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
that 's a decision they'll have to make on their own, you've done all that you can do. sad but true
2006-06-19 08:52:25 · answer #1 · answered by SASSY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just as the horse can be lead to water your relative can been directed to the help he needs. However, just as the horse, your relative must have a "thirst" to satisfy. Most addicts/alcoholics will be in denial of such problems and actually become quite defensive of their actions and behavior.
Unfortunately, in most cases, nothing you say or do will change the course. The individual must acknowledge the issue and attempt to correct it. Often it requires an individuals hitting "rock bottom" to awaken the desire to improve.
By all means continue to motivate your relative to do the right thing, albeit you will most often be disappointed. Good luck and stay the course... just don't let it beat you up.
2006-06-19 09:08:26 · answer #2 · answered by Walt B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot force another human being to do something that they don't want to. Sorry that is the fact of life. No many how many times you beg, plead, explain, even may have them thrown in jail. If they do not make up their mind to change then they are going to continue on the path they are on to destruction or go back to it each time. They only way the horse is going to be led to water and to drink is if it opens it's own eyes and sees the river sitting in front of it's face!
2006-06-19 08:54:54 · answer #3 · answered by ♡LiL♥Kitten♡ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is why the saying is "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink". You can talk to your relative all you want, but you cannot make him take that step towards recovery--that is something only he can do. You have done the best you can--now you have to let it go and let him take responsibility for himself. It's hard to accept that this may never happen, but at least you know you have done what you could.
2006-06-19 08:55:26 · answer #4 · answered by besoseda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like this guy need to hit bottom before he gets up and your concern is just that YOURs. I don't want to say this but he going to have to figure this out on he's own give him time and maybe space if you don't want to see the negative emotional side of what he may go through. Support is needed also so the final decision of what your going to do is yours
Peace
Love and Protection
2006-06-19 09:00:01 · answer #5 · answered by Young Blood 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems you have the problem with him more then the relative does of himself.
Just because you read somewhere partying and drinking is bad doesn't mean you go out and change the world.
This person does what they do because they want to and probably enjoys it.
i couldn't quit smoking until I was fed up and nobodys lectures was gonna matter.
You go lead your great life and let them lead theres. If he wants help he will ask.
2006-06-19 08:55:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is your complaint? Is his drinking/partying ruining his life, or the lives of those around him, or does it just bother you? If he's wrecking lives, I guess you'll just have to try and point that out.
2006-06-19 08:56:13 · answer #7 · answered by stringfellow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank god for him to have a friend in you.
He's unfortunately not ready yet. It's his life, sometimes you have to let them find out the hard way for them selves.
Hopefully when that happens, you'll still be there.
2006-06-19 08:54:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have to be thirsty first.
It has to come from inside themself.
You can't change anyone, even if you know it's the right thing. All you'll do is make you and them miserable. You have to let go and let God.
2006-06-19 08:54:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes they have to fall really hard before they see the light . That is the sad part.
2006-06-19 08:53:07 · answer #10 · answered by jeff7241 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you've done your part and the rest is up to him. You could take him to an AA meeting. In the end it is his choice.
2006-06-19 08:56:15 · answer #11 · answered by couriousinms 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋