my cousin put himself in a real mess. coming out of high school, he had everything going for him. a scholorship to a private school, and 34 on the ACT put him on the road to succeed. however, over his 4 college years, he began to do worse and worse in his classes. Lately, we found out that he had been playing computer games on public computers at the college until 4 a.m. each day instead of going to class. he failed out of his senior year. he was majoring in economics (which i dont know what job he would get) but now only has his high school diploma. he has been fired from 3 jobs in college. now, my aunt set him up with an apartment and gave him $150 and left him on his own. he has yet to find a job and his bills are coming up. is my aunt doing the right thing for him?
2006-06-19 08:50:38 · 8 answers · asked by stevem8728 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Is your cousin capable to affording his last year in school, to have another shot at getting his degree? Can he either borrow the money, or else work in order to get the money? If he can, he should... but not until he's committed to getting his degree and/or a job.
Yeah, he really blew it with the game playing. Depending on the game, the compulsion to play can be pretty intense. I remember playing games when I was in school 15-20 years ago (when PCs were just really starting to appear); it was a pretty powerful imperative, and I would stay up until 1am or later during finals week playing games. Even now, I can get "hooked" on stuff and not get my sleep.
Still, I knew I had to pass/work for a living to support my family, so I pull(ed) away long enough to get my work done.
Sometimes games can be a "safe haven" from which to escape from the uncertainties of life. Did he know what to do with his degree when he graduated? Did he have a social life of any sort? Maybe that confusion made it easier just to numb himself with games.
Or was he playing MMORPGs online, and got addicted to the achievement-oriented focus, or the social aspects, or what?
Anyway, unless he shows a clear decision to "repent" in the sense that he knows he did wrong, he has to shape up his act, and has to quit playing games until at least he gets his degree and a decent job, your aunt is doing the right thing by letting him sit in the situation of his own making.
If she bails him out when he's still not committed to working for a living, he'll just take advantage of her generosity. She should only help if it's clear that he's turned his life around and/or committed to doing so and is simply stuck because of the hole he's in.
Still, he might need relationship support -- people who still seem to care about him, want to see him do better with his life, can provide emotional encouragement outside the "game" environment.
He needs to learn how to build a real life away from games and get a social network that supports his efforts to become an adult, financially and socially.
If you can offer him support or get him to talk about how he's feeling about this and/or what he might be able to do about it, that won't hurt. Still, support your aunt in not keeping him afloat -- this is really something he needs to learn how to do himself.
2006-06-19 09:57:18 · answer #1 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
4 years have passed since high school? He knows the deal, he is just lazy. When he can't feed himself, he will understand and hit the pavement for a job. Sometimes it hurts people to help them too much.
2006-06-19 08:55:00 · answer #2 · answered by banker lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he has blown an excellent oppertunity to build a good life for himself and now he needs to learn what life is like so when the next oppertunity comes he will not blow it playing video games.
2006-06-19 09:01:06 · answer #3 · answered by dlow1972 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's her money, but she is enabling his behavior. If she wants to help him, she might try getting him some counseling, to see if he can get with the program. Otherwise, he might be better served if she'd give him some sort of ultimatum, like three months to get and keep a job or no more dough.
2006-06-19 08:54:20 · answer #4 · answered by aboukir200 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He need a wake up call. Hes old enough and seems smart enough to make it on his own. He needs to stop playing games and get a job. I don't think what she is doing is unreasonable
2006-06-19 09:04:23 · answer #5 · answered by .357 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. if she just keeps paying his way he will never learn to stand on his own.
2006-06-19 08:57:59 · answer #6 · answered by angelpockets 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
buy him one way ticket to TJ, he'll see...lololol
2006-06-19 09:30:07 · answer #7 · answered by 123456 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs help....ders no shame in takin 'help'
2006-06-19 08:52:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋