I found out that my boyfriend of 11 months has lied about his whole past. He fabricated stories of where he lived, went to school, relationships, and the list goes on. He says he's sorry, but doesnt act that remorseful. He needs help. I know that I am not crazy, but I do know that I do need to speak to someone to understand why he had been lying.
2006-06-19 08:43:32 · 11 answers · asked by lisalopez802003 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You need help for wanting to stick around.
2006-06-19 08:46:20 · answer #1 · answered by yogabbagabba 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know some of the advice sounds extreme, but the only experience I have had watching a similar relationship (one of my friends) was exactly how people have described it.
This guy was a few years older than my friend. He was insecure, had to look good, had to feel powerful. He made up lies all the time. He told her he was a ninja with special training, and people were out to get him. (She was young enough to believe it.)
He lied about his jobs. He lied about the people he knew. He lied about where he was going. It was nuts. After a bit, I knew something was wrong, and he was probably lying... but he was good enough to weasel out of things when he was caught.
She wasted six or seven years of her life -- her high school years -- with this out-of-school guy. She tried to dump him 2-3 times, but each time he would manage to play off her pity and get back together through some sneaky method. She felt bad for him, even each time she discovered he was lying.
Finally she dumped him for good. His life continued down the same sorry road, hers got much better. Now I see him as a sad, pathetic, immature person who needs to take responsiblity for his life... and I don't know if he ever will.
The peril here is that he's already an expert liar, so you won't be able to tell when he's sincere. (In fact, you already are saying he's NOT remorseful.)
You can't help him from inside the relationship. You don't know if he's doing something because he WANTS to change, or simply in order to manipulate you.
If you want to help him, call it off. Find him professional help. I know you want to help him, but I'm 99% sure it will only bring you further heartache right now.
2006-06-19 10:12:20 · answer #2 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Edit: you recently found out that your EX-boyfriend is a sociopath.
Honey, the biggest reward any man gets is a woman. The biggest punishment he gets is for that woman to slam the door in his face. So basic behavior modification (if you know the term "sociopath," you know about behavior modification) would suggest that you stop having anything to do with this man.
Of course he says he is remorseful. It is part of his manipulation. Lying comes easy to some guys, and once you know he is a liar, don't encourage him by pretending you don't know. Just get him out of your life. If he makes a nuisance of himself, call the sheriff's department or the police and report him for harassment. If he has to start facing the consequences of his lies and deceits, he may get some help, one way or another. A judge can order him to see a shrink, or put him in a locked facility, or whatever. But get him away from you!
2006-06-19 08:51:03 · answer #3 · answered by auntb93again 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, leave your boyfriend. If you stay, you need help for yourself because a healthy individual would not stick around with someone who had be lying so extensively. It doesn't matter why he is a liar. That fact that he was lying to you is proof that he should not be in a relationship.
Second, if you have health insurance, you could see if visits to a therapist is included with your insurance.
2006-06-19 09:52:31 · answer #4 · answered by truly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's variety of a tricky question with the aid of fact it consists of having to truly comprehend him in individual to be waiting to offer a sturdy answer. yet i think of that the main suitable ingredient to do ordinarily could be to no longer point out it for each week and permit it settle down, then afterwards communicate it flippantly. If he gets offended then tell him the actuality - you weren't proceeding to envision his e-mails or something like that even yet it basically caught your eye. Emphasize that maximum folk could probable do the comparable consisting of him and which you made a mistake. yet, additionally tell him which you're feeling like he ought to've informed you approximately nonetheless being in touch with an ex. for my section, i think of this is fantastically atrocious. If the e-mails have been cutting-edge and he mentioned issues like "you nonetheless excite me when I see you" then it truly is truly no longer ideal. i think of (even however, that's subject to opinion) that he have been given particularly offended with the aid of fact he replace into being protective approximately some thing, probable pertaining to to the failings he replace into asserting. If he had no longer something to cover and did no longer intend to cover it, then he does not are turning out to be so mad. particular, you wouldn't have regarded with the aid of his e-mails yet he should not be flirting along with his ex with the aid of e mail while the final time he supposedly observed her replace into basically approximately a year in the past. don't be a pushover. do no longer save apologizing the two, in any different case he could think of he can try this sort of ingredient in destiny and wreck out with it. sturdy success.
2016-10-31 03:32:59 · answer #5 · answered by filonuk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could keep posting questions here. I am sure somebody in yahoo land has the help and advice you need.
2006-06-26 01:34:32 · answer #6 · answered by GOUTVOLS 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO MAAM YOU DONT NEED TO HELP HIM!!!YOU NEED TO LEAVE HIM RIGHT NOW. AND YOU CANT HELP SOMEONE WHO DONT WANT TO HELP THEMSELVES. SORRY BUT TRUTH IS TRUTH, AND BESIDES ARE YOU HIS MOTHER? WHY SHOULD YOU TAKE ON THAT KIND OF RESPONSIBILITY...LET ME GUESS ?CUZ U LOVE HIM! WELL, WAKE UP IF HE LOVED YOU WHY HAS HE LIED TO YOU FOR 11 MONTHS? AND FURTHERMORE IF HE SAYS HE LOVES YOU HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT IS NOT A LIE TOO.YOU SOUNDS LIKE A VERY NICE AND NURTURING PERSON, INSTEAD OF TRYIN TO SAVE HIM HOW BOUT GO TO AN ANIMAL SHELTER AND SAVE HURT,HOMELESS ANIMALS THAT DONT LIE
2006-06-19 08:47:24 · answer #7 · answered by ***BUTTERFLY*** 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd forget about him and not worry about why he was lying. You did say he was a sociopath...Isn't that reason enough?
2006-06-19 08:47:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has ben lying because hes a sociopath you twit..dump him before you end up like lacey peterson..
2006-06-24 02:26:54 · answer #9 · answered by Black 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get away from him before you get hurt physically.
2006-06-25 17:45:00 · answer #10 · answered by catbheard 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋