I'm 20 years old, and my boyfriend (22) and I have been pretty good friends since we were 14 and 16, respectively. We became best friends in the past several years -- nonstop talking -- and have been a pair for a year. Our relationship is very happy -- there is no abuse or concern, I cannot remember any real fights or arguments, and we are on the same page regarding our futures and goals. My university obligations are finished and he will receive his bachelor's in the winter, and already has a very excellent job and graduate program lined up. We are considering the idea of becoming engaged when he graduates, and to marry once he's more established in his job and has completed his graduate degree. At the time of engagement, we'd be 21 and 23 respectively. I am from a European country where it is acceptable and normal to marry at a young age, and I am more than ready to be a wife (not looking to be a full-time career woman). I feel that within the next 2 or so years, he will be, as well.
2006-06-19 08:38:55 · 26 answers · asked by Anna 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go For it!! Congratulations
2006-06-19 08:49:13 · answer #1 · answered by firecrackertx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is it with all these people that responded and said things like oh thats too young and wait till your 25 etc.? What diffrence does it make if you marry at 21 compared to 25? I just don't get that. I feel that as long as two people are mature enough and able to handle a marriage and they've gone about the process of dating/courting seriously why should they not get married whether their 21 or 27? It is the inside and the maturity of a person that counts...not age. Obviously a 15 year old could be very mature but not able to handle a marriage. I don't think i have to explain why. I think the reason why so many people wait so long..is number one their too busy messing arounf having sex and their not ready for commitment (marriage is just too serious for them) and two their not ready to give up their singleness and all the things they enjoy. From what i hear..marriage is a huge adjustment and change...most young people aren't ready to give up their freedom and way of life for a spouse.
All this to say that it doesn't matter how old you are it matters more if you love the person with all your heart and they love you, and you know with all your heart that your ment to be together, you understand what commitment means and your ready to be commited, you have the money and are stable, and you have your parents blessing (unless their being unreasonable obviously)
I hope this helped and i wish you and your b/f well.
2006-06-19 11:08:43 · answer #2 · answered by mountaingirl88 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that you are looking for validation. Maybe someone told you that it is not a good idea, or maybe you are trying to get us to convince you that you are doing the right thing. Maybe if you are not sure that you are not doing the right thing you should wait a while. You do not want to start your life without someone on uncertainty. This is a big leap and you have to feel that you are doing the right thing. Only you can decide that. Besides you guys seem to have things planned out, you both seem to be on the right paths in life. Also you can have a long engagement you do not have to get married asap. You need to ask yourself why you are so apprehensive and be honest with yourself as to why you are hesitant about it. It will not be fair to either of you to go into this half hearted and unsure. Sure fire to lose what you have for good, instead of slowing it down just a bit.
2006-06-19 08:50:44 · answer #3 · answered by Nicole C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congrats on your pending engagement. I'd just be very careful, as you do lots of growing up in your 20's. In my opinion, you change a lot between 20 and 25. I got married when I was 20. By the time we were married 2 years, we both wanted completely different things. I was in college, he wanted me to drop out b/c it was a "waste of time and money" blah blah. If only he could see me now and I probably make about 3 times more than him! :) But I was stupid and didn't think about some of these critical things beforehand. If you and your bf are so like-minded, you should be fine. Like Dr. Phil says, "Never marry someone until you see them w/ the flu." :)
2006-06-19 09:04:21 · answer #4 · answered by indie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you know the answer to this one. However, if you are asking the question, there might be a problem that you wont figure out until after you get married.
Personally I think that is young for the guy, not the girl. I think guys should satiate all curiosities before settling down.
Since the divorce rate is close to 9/10 new marriages now days, I wish you luck.
2006-06-19 08:45:22 · answer #5 · answered by C P R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not about age, it's about maturity.
My husband and I were both 19. We were on our own, had stable jobs (I was in the Navy and he was in the Marine Corps), were financially independent, and more mature than most our age. We didn't like going out and partying or drinking (we out grew that stage in high school) and we knew we loved each other. It worked for us but it is harder. Statistics are against us but we know we'll last.
By the way, my mom was 19 when she married my dad (26) and they've been together almost 30 years!
Don't listen to these people saying wait until 30. They probably just had bad experiences.
2006-06-19 08:43:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 17 and he was 17 when we got engaged and we got married six days after I turned 18. In December it will be 10 years since we got married. And we are still together and happy with two kids. I feel that as long as you realize the responsibilities involved and everything, you are not too young at all.
2006-06-19 08:47:44 · answer #7 · answered by sandrarosette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you both have good heads on your shoulders. You're taking care of yourselves and each other. You seem to be marrying for all the right reasons. So I think you guys are on the right track and will probably have a long and happy life together. If it's any consolation, my mom was only 16 when they were married and they just celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary. So age is only a number. Good luck to you both!
2006-06-19 08:46:03 · answer #8 · answered by tinydancer42001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age is not the important factor as long as you both are over 18. Marriage is not just a piece of paper shared between the two of you, marriage is a commitment. Marriage is love and respect and honor, and unselfishness and devotion, communication, and sharing and compromising and all the things inbetween. Marriage means being patient and unconditional and understanding. A good marriage is what I have and what I wish for everyone. Good Luck.
2006-06-19 08:50:12 · answer #9 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though there's a firm plan in place here, so, you two deserve a chance at happiness. Always keep your communications open when it comes to making decisions, this can kill a marriage. Other than that, take care of each other and have a great marriage.
2006-06-19 09:58:07 · answer #10 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a firm believer in age doesn't matter my husband and I have been married almost 11yrs. now but we've been together for over 14yrs. he was 21 and I was 15 when we met.. we were married when I was 18.. we now have 4 beautiful daughters.. if you feel it's right don't worry about other factors sometimes you just have to follow your heart..
2006-06-19 09:29:35 · answer #11 · answered by DAZED & CONFUSED 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋