Police Officers......do they make good husbands.?

Answer 1

Why do peace officers have such an outlandish rate of marital and domestic failure and calamity? These are the main causes:

1. The psychological makeup of a great many officers drives them to experiment, search, and seek adventures. Which means that they are fundamentally driven towards playing around, infidelities of various kinds.

2. Vast numbers of women start out by being attracted to cops (my own experience indicates, toward a uniform). The symbolism of the weapon and badge are believed to be strong attractions. That magnetism they readily communicate to the members of the opposite sex who, all too frequently, either cannot or
don't even try to resist.

With many men, the number of conquests about which they can brag is of great importance to ego-building. (This is sometimes true of women, as well, although they are usually less braggadocio about it since we still teach our young girls a little modesty.)

It is extremely hard for anyone to avoid "adventures" when attractive members of the opposite sex are openly, persistently inviting.

4. Think about the hours these people work, the neighborhoods in which they work which are commonly a distance from home (where they may not be recognized by family and friends) and therefor can "get away with it" with little chance of being caught.

In other words, the average cop is continuously exposed to temptation with only limited likelihood of getting caught.

To go back a little, let me tell you that about two years after I got into law enforcement (we mostly protected against dinosaurs in those days) I did a little non-scientific, informal survey of the PD in the city where I served and found that of all the officers on the force, 80% were divorced within 3 years after being hired, remarried within less than a year and within two more years about 70 were again divorced.

Informal interviews and daily observations indicated that nearly all were first divorced due to infidelities, married the woman with whom the infidelities occurred and and then divorced her in favor of yet another woman with whom they were "playing around".

Within a 20 to 25 year career span, it was not and still is not particularly unusual for an officer to go through 6 or 8 marriages. And, oddly enough, they rarely shack up unless it is with another officer.

Unfortunately, women are often thrilled by dating an officer, often become fascinated by the profession and--as in your case--look to marriage with the officer.

Unfortunately, this simply leads to double-trouble in many cases as each member of this union is now subject to frequent temptations and opportunities for infidelities with either other officers or the many civilians whom they contact. Which makes it doubly difficult to keep the marriage together unless they are capable of sitting down, one on one for a very heartfelt discussion before the marriage during which
they set up the "rules" for their marriage and develop a clear-cut understanding of the agreed upon reaction to the breaking of those rules.

When both parties to the marriage are cops, they have a lot in common and often come to a deeper understanding of each than do "civilian" couples. But it is a rough row to hoe.

As Chief I made it a rule to invite every candidate for employment to come to dinner at my home and spend the evening in a relaxed atmosphere where we could get acquainted. In addition, if he had a wife or fiancée, we asked that she come along, as well as children, if any.

While it gave me a great chance to find out what the candidate was all about, it also gave my wife time to take the candidate's lady aside for a good, long heart to heart during which she cold advise the younger woman (usually) what it is to be a cop's wife, what she would have to put up with from the job and from her cop-husband. In the meantime, she could size up how well the woman was prepared and how solidly she was behind her better half.

As a result, we did not hire a number of young men who might have made good cops but who we believed would do so at the expense of their families. A cost which I felt was far too great.

By the way, we occasionally run into these former candidates and most are better of in other jobs and their families, nearly all, remain intact.

I've been accused of playing god, as a result of that practice. But I feel that it was best for the department, best for the candidate and his family and best for me.

Studies indicate that cops--as a work group--have the poorest records of maintaining marriages, a very high record of on the job injury, one of the highest rates of suicide after retirement. They also have a dangerously high rate of alcohol abuse both during their careers and after retirement.

My suggestion to those dating a police officer, then, is to consider and discuss all of these factors with an open mind.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I think that depends on what kind of relationship you are looking for. Police officers have long hours, and are gone at strange hours at a time. If you feel that you can handle that, along with the idea that he could potentially be killed every time he goes to work, then yes, a police officer, firefighter, military man, etc can potentially be a great husband. However, if they don't treat you the way that you expect to be treated, are not honest with you, or seem to have the potential of being physically violent with you, then he, or any other man, regardless of their profession, is a guy you want to stay away from.

Answer 4

This is one of the jobs that I wouldn't want my husband to do. Although I am very , very grateful for them,, I wouldn't want my husband to be one , because I would be worried to the point I couldn't sleep until he was home.

Most of the police officers I know were very shy, and insecure in school, and I am glad that they found something to bring up their self esteem. I also think they make more compassionate ones also,,, we need all types.

Also in my opinion, Like educators// law enforcements officers do not make the money that they deserve!! Where would we be without either one them?

Answer 5

Being a Police Officer myself, I believe we do. After being on the rough streets, its nice to come home to a loving wife and children who love me unconditionally. What Officers see on the streets everyday is rough, a lot of us won't bring it home but to have a better understanding of what we see and how we rationalize are actions. It would be nice to come home to a woman that can listen and talk about it with them. I value my family it means everything to me, the reason I work long 16 hour days is so I can give them the best this world has to offer. And besides 25 to 35 dollars and hour is hard to pass up. I have been a Officer for over 15 years and it is hard to find people that understand what we go through and what we see. We are not control freaks we have a job to do, and we only have a split second to make a life and death decision, we have to live with that for the rest of our lives and we are human too. Mam we hold back a lot we keep what happens on the streets to ourselves because we are afraid what you might think of us. If you really want to know just ask we will tell you. The only thing on our minds is our wives and children and coming home.

Answer 6

wow... Forget Vegas needs a publisher! I love all these people who probably don't even know a cop telling you what to do. Don't give advice based on the fact you got arrested or got a ticket! It shows! I've worked with cops for 30 years. What I can tell you is they're just like everyone else, except for what I call the "jerk gene" and the "alcolholc gene". When you deal with the slimy white underbelly of society, it's easy to get your mind "twisted"and your priororities all out of whack. Constant exposure to only the bad in people makes it hard to keep a balance in your own mind. You have to find a guy who's not racist or biased, not out to "save the world" single handedly and one who doesn't run for the bottle every chance he gets. Those are the balanced individuals who make good cops and good husbands. Just like every other guy. Only you can decide once you get to know him. But then, there is the handcuffs..... :)

Answer 7

Stop listening to other people, he has a right to be whoever he wants to be in the first place, if it's something that he wants you should support him, if you truely love him then you will want whatever he chooses. Being a cop is an honorable job, they must be jealous. I have a daughter and son-in-law that are both cops, no probs there. Get over it. Lighten up. Be grateful for his choices, he's far from a slouch and a loser.

Answer 8

my fiancee is a corrections officer, and he does keep long hours, but I don't mind, because I know he is working to give our family a good life. Plus we call or text each other to let each other knw we are thinking of the other...and with my job, a sentencing parole officer, my schedule sometimes conflicts with his...so to answer your question, it is work that both parties must be willing to do and accept. yes...they do make good husbands.

Answer 9

Police Officers are control freaks on a power trip. So NO !

Answer 10

i wud think so but they're jobs are risky and ur gonna be constantly worried about him while he's on the job..in my city like a month or so ago a police officer was shot and killed and he had a wife and small kids and he was shot over drug money...im sure they wud be good because they are good ppl obviously if they are the police but you will always have that worry factor! but hey if your into it you'll always have handcuffs around ;) lol

Answer 11

I think it depends on the person. But, most cops I've known, don't make good husbands. Too much emotional stress..