My ex and I are recently divorced, but every time I see one of our friends or his relatives they insist on telling me what they saw him doing. How can I get them to stop doing this? I have told them repeatedly that I don't care what he's doing and I don't want to hear it. We are divorced and I have no control over him or what he does. Ironically I know more about what me ex is doing now than when we were married. Why weren't these people so anxious to tell me that he was lying too me and cheating on me?
2006-06-19 07:18:32 · 19 answers · asked by Fed Up! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i donno but i would tell them to stop and not let them in my house or call or go over there.
2006-06-19 07:22:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dang, that's tough.
Well, If they absolutely insist on telling you what's going on, just get up and walk away.
When they ask what's going on with you, tell them - without flinching or mincing words - that you have told them over and over you couldn't give a flying rat's a$$ about what your ex is up to, but they won't listen to you, so you aren't going to sit around and be force-fed their tattle-telling. Be prepared for some seriously hurt feelings and also be prepared to make some new friends.
Sorry to say, but that's just the way it is. Some people are too dense to grasp the fundamentals of common decency.
2006-06-19 07:40:37 · answer #2 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they want to see how you would react and see if it will piss you off and if you still care about him (you'll get that from his family) and the friends well they are like his little spy to see if they tell you something and you react to it then they go back and tell him oh she did this and this (give him pleasure).
I would recommend that you tell them as you said already to stop you don't care, if that does not work then once any of them start talking about him to you say can we change the subject or you gradually change the subject, finally if that does not work then just walk away so what if they get mad they will get the hint and knock it off ;).
2006-06-19 07:27:57 · answer #3 · answered by cici 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm particularly effective she gained't take heed to you yet i imagine it really is worth a shot besides. i'd commence with what you stated right here: the youngsters now and again like the boyfriends and get somewhat puzzled at the same time as they don't seem round anymore. Remind her that your little ones are too youthful to appreciate grown-up relationships, no longer to coach to appreciate why they end. also, little ones do not seem after themselves adverse to being damage the way adults do... and quite, you do not choose your little ones to augment up and develop right into a form of adults who guards themselves for all time and has abandonment and intimacy subject matters because they idea it replaced into their fault that the adult men did not stay round. Or locate somebody else who she would take heed to and performance them say it. If which couldn't paintings both... you ought to attempt writing a letter? complicated project!
2016-10-14 07:39:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you would call them friends if you told them you don't care what he is doing and they still told you. Another big hint was the fact that they didn't tell you about his lying and cheating on you in the first place.
My advice, dump the friends and get new ones.
2006-06-19 08:01:07 · answer #5 · answered by wigituu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Indicate that you would appreciate there help in forgetting that the matter is still an issue with you and that it hurts you in more ways than you can possibly describe and that their talking about it makes you feel like killing yourself. If that doesn't work tell them to shut up.
2006-06-19 07:33:37 · answer #6 · answered by Darryl E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you already told them you don't want to hear or know about him. What part of that don't they understand? When they start in, tell them what did you already say about this? How many times do you need to repeat it? You would think telling them once would of sunken in. You're going to have to get real blunt, they seem to have a problem listening and understanding.
2006-06-19 07:25:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
see its very difficult 4 a women to live alone in this world,every now and then people come to u r life , asks u,hich u dont want to answer .so,find agood man,who understand u r feeling and marry him.then no body will complaint u o.k
2006-06-19 07:33:13 · answer #8 · answered by impressvicky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing. I was just persistent about the fact that I no longer cared about what he was doing, and then turned the tables on them and would ask them why THEY cared so much about what he's doing.
2006-06-19 07:25:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are probably idol,and just want to hurt you with their gossip.Tell them plain open that you don't care,that you are moving on with your life and more important,enjoying it!
My best friend of 15 years snatched my girlfriend away from me,and even after a year he kept telling me what they were getting upto,just to hurt me.
I told him to his face that I actually didn't give a damn!Straight to his face,deleted his number,email address,got rid of all our photos together and moved on with my life.I'm so happy now
2006-06-19 07:39:41 · answer #10 · answered by ALLANPIE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them u don't care and change the subject
2006-06-19 07:24:54 · answer #11 · answered by letmesurpriseu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋