why is it so hard to have an orgasm?

Question

i've had sex and done plenty of sexual stuff but i can NEVER have an orgasm. I can give myself an orgasm when i look at porn and stuff cause i get turned on but when a guy does stuff to me i just can't. i don't even get sort of close

Answer 1

alot of women have the same prob. we need to concentrate more than guys. and to do that we need more time. that is something most guys can't handle. they are impatient and are selfish. to be a good lover, men have to slow down, listen to the woman and take your time, no matter how long it takes.

Answer 2

Probably any one or all of these reasons.

1. You aren't comfortable enough with your body and sex to relax and just enjoy the experience.

2. You need to convey to your partner what you need. Boys aren't born knowing and a lot of men don't really know. They think all they need do is rub a little here and stick it in. TEACH them different.

3. You may not be aroused enough before penetration. You are always a little wet. Being ready is more than that. You should be wet and feel swollen. You should be so excited you are practically begging him to get inside. In fact, have your boyfriend tease you to that point. This may well be what works.

4. As stated above, men don't always know what women need or want, and many are quite selfish sexually. After all, unless you are a dead fish it is always good for them! You have to show them what you need, and at times demand it.

5. If it is working, don't stop. You can't do 15 positions and expect to *** because everytime you make a change, the upward curve towards the release gives up a bit. This can be hard on a man. He will need to learn to hold on!

6. Stop pressuring yourself to reach a goal and learn to just really enjoy the journey. The two of you should be exploring yourself and relaxed enough to try new things and accept that some may be winners and others not.

Performance anxiety hits women as much as men so you do need to just stop sweating it.

7. Don't be afraid to be demanding sexually. A lot of women are uncomfortable telling their guy what they want. Most guys absolutely love it when they do. Try it!

One thing I wll add here is the fact you masturbate and have learned how to orgasm is a great start. The more you learn about what works for you, the more information you can share with your partner.

Best of luck and wishing you a ton of fun learning!

Answer 3

there are a few reasons.

a) bad partner. He may need to learn some things as well as work on somethings.

b) what kind of p0rn? It maybe that what turns you on is different from what you are doing.

c) any prior problems with men (sexual assault for instance) can lead to distrust in those situations.

d) He's not spending enough time turning you on prior to getting you naked. Or just flat out sucks at foreplay.

Either way, if you can do it yourself....and you are happy with him... just try and let him work on somethings (GUYS WILL LISTEN TO YOU) and when he's done...just do it yourself.

He should be able to get an idea of what you like by watching.

Answer 4

Are you gay? -- if so you probly aren't. I know that sounds like reall stupid but if you have no sexual attraction to men you probably aren't gay.


Maybe you just like your dick. I'm serious. Maybe you thought that you like men for their *****, but what you really like is putting your dick in a hole.

what type of porn are you aroused by-- gay porn or just any type of sex. Can you get hard when you play with yourself- if not the porblem is probably different than what you think. Age can also play a part in orgasms. Like when your young you can get horny real fast but when your older, your boners are not as strong or as quick.

Answer 5

Have your partner do what you do to yourself and see what happens. Definitely don't think about it or it will never happen because you're putting too much stress on having one. Just relax and have fun. Of course the other answer could be maybe men just don't do it for you. You might have to try something completely different in that case. But in any event good luck and have fun.

Answer 6

It's because you had lot of sex... I am sorry but if you didn't know anything about sexual relation, the first time, with a man who loves you, you will have orgasm! And if you stayed together, you will improve it... When you know a lot about sex and with many partners, it's difficult to be satistfied.

Answer 7

Women can get arouse when in a relaxed atmosphere, men just like to rush get his needs taken care of which is a turnoff for most women. So me take your time. Best turn on my not have anything to do with sex. Your partner needs to find out what turns you on.

Answer 8

Finger the g spot furiously (or use a g spot viberator), masterbate the clit fast at the same time (like rub a power viberator on your clit). Maybe have an object in your a-nus. You have to be horn*y in order for the orgasm to work, so you may want to incorporate goat weed. G spot is inside top wall of vagina.

Answer 9

wow....since you can achieve orgasm....there is probably nothing physically wrong. sounds like a psychological problem. you may be concentration on it too much...too nervous about it. you may need more foreplay and have mo patients with yourself. you may need a partner who will take the time to build you up. are you too self conscious to let loose? consider all of the above and don't be so hard on yourself...it'll ***

Answer 10

This can be a medical condition but in your case it sounds like you have a problem being with other people. Maybe you can try to pinpoint what exactly turns you on and have your partner roleplay with you?