I'm 22y old girl, engaged to a very good man... But feel depressed about the whole commitment thing. I just miss my old independent life, where no one interferes in my decisions and my life in general. I think I'm not ready yet!
Is it normal to feel like that, or AM I WEIRED?
2006-06-19 06:50:03 · 12 answers · asked by o.s. 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are not weird and I don't believe that you are ready. People will try to tell you that it's just "cold feet"-there's no such thing. You either want to get married and cannot wait to begin you life with that person or you don't. If you are depressed and having doubts about doing this then you need to tell him now. You know that what your gut is telling you is the right thing, you just don't want to hurt anyone and you're afraid that once he's gone that you will be lonely. Think about how you will feel if you marry him and five years down the line you look at him and think I don't love this man and you want your freedom and you have two kids---Don't do it to yourself. It's better to hurt him now, you be a little lonely than it is for you to hurt him, yourself and others later.
2006-06-19 06:55:57 · answer #1 · answered by writeroftheyear1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's normal to feel like that. It either means your young and not ready to be married or that your fiance is not the right one for you and your having doubts. Either way you definitely should not get married until you are absolutely sure. It's a whole lot braver to call it off than to go through with a sham.
Why be in such a hurry your so young, take your time and discover who you really are before you make that commitment. Trust me an unhappy marriage hurts alot more than a broken engagement.
Trust your feelings.
2006-06-19 07:27:52 · answer #2 · answered by Fed Up! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's perfectly normal to get antsy as one approaches a wedding day. However, since you are still young you have plenty of time to make the final decision whether or not to marry. As for missing independence, some people who are happily married occasionally think about that - it's normal.
2006-06-19 06:58:33 · answer #3 · answered by mikey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is okay and normal. Just slow things down and take your time and do not commit unless you are ready to. Take it slow and enjoy your life and dont hurry into anything you are not ready for. You may also want to break of the engagement for a while and think things through.
2006-06-19 06:54:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is normal to question whether you are ready or not. If you cannot openly express your concerns to your man, then maybe he is not the one you should marry. If you cannot speak with your future mate, find someone to talk with about your feelings. Pre-wedding jitters are normal - getting married is a big change and a long term commitment, so don't do it unless you are sure.
You mentioned someone interfering with your decisions? You did not say who was doing that or what types of decisions. Find someone you trust and talk with them about all of this.
2006-06-19 07:10:22 · answer #5 · answered by snowflake 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are feeling this way it may be a good idea to put off the wedding until you are sure you are ready to take on that role. It a royal pain in the azz to go through a divorce! It might help you to talk to someone (not a yahoo group) about your feelings and what is going on in your life.
2006-06-19 06:56:28 · answer #6 · answered by squashpatty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the only one that can honestly answer that question.
It does sound like your not ready for marriage just yet.
If may be soon or it may be a few years off or it may not ever be for you! Talk to your fiance, if he loves you, he will understand and wait for you. No guarantee's with him but if it will make you happier then you should do it! Otherwise you will marry him and continually wish you had done something else.
Good luck!
2006-06-19 06:55:23 · answer #7 · answered by Ekimo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you just want your life and your control.
I am 38 and never married. Close a couple of times, but things would come up and then no marriage.
I think that this person is not right for you.
Maybe a little experience will help you decide whether marriage is right for you.
2006-06-19 06:55:59 · answer #8 · answered by javarick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perfectly normal. I wouldn't recommend marriage, it's exactly like you said and at times very annoying if you are an independent person.
2006-06-19 06:53:37 · answer #9 · answered by sweetie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that way, I don't think that you have any business getting married. It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to your finance. Wait a little bit and see what happens. There is no law saying that anyone has to get married.
2006-06-19 06:54:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋