Am i pregnant or is the desperation for me to be, taken over!! its a bit complex please read my added details!

Question

i had a termination in march as my baby had serve abnormalities because i had taken some tablets!! i cant seem to get over it and i feel so desperate to get pregnant again it is taken over my life!!! i feel like i need to be pregnant and wen my boyfriend says no i get really angry i am so desperate!!! i had unprotected sex a few weeks ago but had a really heavy bleed for about a day or two, is it from the termination (as i had not had a period since it) an that was in march and does that mean i am not pregnant, it began very light the first day then two days of it being very heavy then it stopped!!! my periods before my first pregnancy where at the very end of each month, and this started last monday also my periods usually last a week at the least so it was very different can anybody help please and tel me if i could be pregnant and also how to overcome the desperation for another baby before it ruins my relationship????

i wasnt taking illegal drugs i was taking roaccutane , for mediacl reasons. you have al been great so far thank you , my partener was great when i first found out i was pregnant and i would never do it behind his back , it is the most overwhelming feeling though .

Answer 1

i would seriously seek proffesional advise. Seems to me like you need to get over the first loss first. Dont let your relationship suffer from this situation. It will eventually take over.

Answer 2

I know how you feel. I am 17 weeks now but I lost a baby Jan. 2004 around the same time. I wanted a baby so bad but sometimes it is just not your time. When you are ready to have a baby you will be blessed with one. Regarding your boyfriend, do you want to have a baby with someone who doesn't want a child? Try to have a serious talk with him and explain your feelings. You're in a relationship and it's 50/50. The bith of you should agree on a important situation such as a baby. Also, try talking to a counselor or writ e oyu thoughts down. It helped me. When I found out I was pregnant this time the last period I had was very heavy. You can usually find if your preganant about a month and half after conception. I waited for four weeks. I wish you well. I'll pray for you. Stay positive!!!!!

Answer 3

First of all.
I don't know how old you are.
You are not married and if you are taking "tablets" I don't know what kind, but if illegal drugs you are in no shape to be a parent.
This is life long and would not be fair to your child.
Your boyfriend does not want a child. Listen to him.
You have to grieve and morn the loss of the first one. Don't automatically think that another pregnancy is going to get rid of the void.
Second. Who did you have unprotected sex with? If it is your boyfriend then he is immature too. If he doesn't want a child then why is he having unprotected sex? You two are too impulsive. SLOW DOWN and think about this. Having a baby does NOT bring people together like a fairy tale. Make sure this is the guy for you. Get married and THEN decide when you are going to have a baby. You are not ready and neither is he. Would you want to be born to unmarried, immature parents who only had you because the mom was trying to get over your sister/brothers death?????? Get real! Get counseling to help you through your pain. You know the average time to morn a death is about a year and the scars last longer. Don't have a baby without being married to the man either.

Answer 4

I have been in your shoes and i understand how you feel. I have had both a termination and a chemical pregnancy ( that is a very early miscarriage). First off if your b/f doesn't want a baby you shouldn't have one until you both are ready. My father left me when I was an infant b/c my mother got pregnant and he wasn't ready. I'm not saying your boyfriend would do that but it is just better in the long run to wait. And if you do both decide you want to be parents you need to wait at least 2 months before you try again. Your cycle will not be regular for a while.

Answer 5

First things first, you need a test, but quite honestly it doesn't sound like you are pregnant if you have had a period. But still take the test. Secondly you much let yourself grieve for your loss, you have to allow your mind and body to heal. If you get pregnant too quick after your termination you could miscarry again. You may need to go to your doctor if you feel you can not cope with your loss, but talking from experience, doctors tend to just give you anti-depressants that will make you worse. You need to get your act together yourself, for the sake of your boyfriend and your own health. You can not do anything about whats happened and it will take a very long time before you can talk about it without it hurting so much. Good luck for the future and take your time.

Answer 6

First, I'm sorry for your loss. I understand the desperation to have another baby, but you need to let your body recover from your last pregnancy. It sounds like your body is trying to get itself back to normal. That doesn't sound like pregnancy spotting to me. Sounds like a short period, which is possible after what you have been through. It could be stress that is causing it too. I would talk to you doctor.

If your boyfriend doesn't want to have a baby, then why would you want to get pregnant with him as the father? You need to be in a stable relationship with an agreement about having kids before you decide to get pregnant again. It could turn out bad to get pregnant when he doesn't want a child.

Find a support group in your area that will help you with your loss. It's the best way to help you deal with your emotions right now.

Having another baby won't replace the one you lost, trust me. I've had 2 miscarriages and a still birth and neither of my 2 kids have filled the holes of my losses. It gets better over time. It takes time to get over something like this and you need support and love right now.

Take some time to get to know you better. You need to know what it is you really want before you get pregnant again.

Read some books on miscarriage and loss. It may help you with your feelings.

I hope this helps, and trust me, it will get better!! Good luck to you.

Answer 7

Getting pregnant when your boyfriend doesn't want to may also ruin your relationship. Are you prepared to be alone?

Look, you don't have to get over your desperation. I am sure you feel like your heart is missing something after the termination. I think you need to deal with that hurt first though. Another pregnancy will not replace the one you lost and it will not make the guilt go away.

Answer 8

I terminated almost 4 yrs ago. Then I married the man who made me do it, hoping he could impregnate me again. I suffered 3 yrs thinking I was unable to have children, as he only came out and told me recently that he had a visectemy when I had the abortion. My advice to u is to have children w/someone who wants them as well. I'm sure ur willing to raise kids on ur own, but don't rush it. It took over my life for a long time, and I'll never get back those 3 yrs of utter depression. I wouldn't want anyone else to go through that.

Answer 9

Quit trying to get pregnant until your body is ready. Miscarriages will happen if your body is not ready and each miscarriage can lessen your chances of getting pregnant.

Wait for 2 or 3 regular cycles before trying to get pregnant.

Next don't get pregnant if the father does not want a child! ! ! !

That could be more of a problem for you! Wait till you have a man that loves you and wants to have children with you!

As for getting over the desperation, time should heal all wounds, if not see your doctor and maybe there are hormones that could be regulated with medication.

Answer 10

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Answer 11

I understand this must be very difficult for you and i cant help you very much with ur period problems although i kno the pill completely mucked mine up and that was an imbalance of hormones so i think a similar things could be happening for you especially with the added stress you're putting on yourself. I think u know that too.
AS for ur relationship you're feeling guilty and thats why you feel you need to have another baby. I think you need to grieve properly for you're baby before you try for another one because it wouldnt be fair on your new baby.
Try talking to professionals, you're doctor and maybe get some counselling with your boyfriend.