Does a wife that does not have sex with her husband every day make her a bad wife?

Question

I do not have a high libido but I try to have sex with him once or twice a week. We have other problems as well. He likes to call me a *****, slut, ignorant, and he likes to just leave whenever he wants without telling me where he is going. He leaves for work an hour or two early at times. He has lied to me about a few things at well. I guess he doesnt understand that, especially for a woman, it is hard to be intimate with someone when they treat you the way they do. If I felt like he was more IN love with me then it would be easier to MAKE love. He tells me because I dont have sex with him everyday I am worthless and dont know how to be a wife. HELP! Am I the wrong one here?

Answer 1

No, it doesn't. My husband and I only make love 2 or 3 times a month. My husband does not think down on me about this....we just have more times for cuddling and other things. He knows that I am just not really a physical person as he is. So we try to balance that out.....just when you DO make love make it great and special!!!! Set up candles, dance around in your room, take a bubble bath, give him a massage, etc...This way its not about how many TIMES your making love but about the QUALTIY of the moment. Your husband will rememer the quality more than he will how many times he's had sex with you. Good luck!

Answer 2

Let me tell you about yourself, You want your wife to be June Cleaver the porn star. Meaning you want her to work, cook, clean, take care of the kids etc. but act like a porn star the minute you want to have sex. You on the other hand think you can go anywhere and do anything you want but not your wife. You think you are never wrong, yours is the only opinion that counts, you are smarter that your boss, you could run the country better than anyone else ever had, you are funnier, sexier, more good looking than any other man there is. How am I doing? Hit the nail on the head didn't I? Get over yourself you are just an ordinary butt wipe like the rest of the pigs out there that think like you do. And I do not believe a majority of the men think like you do. You are the minority. Get counseling. (You probably won't because you think there is nothing wrong with you.) My EX-husband was just like that(you) Try giving instead of taking all the time!

Answer 3

No it doesn't Nicole! I used to think that I wanted and needed sex every single day from my wife! I was wrong. What I needed was to be able to talk to each other, know what each person is feeling and BOTH people need to be willing to compromise. My wife didn't want to have sex because she was feeling so much pressure from me. Now, I can barely keep up with her! We talk more about everything, not just sex and we are both more positive about our outlook on life. This combined with her willing to be a bit more adventourous when we do have sex has made things perfect in our relationship. Do we have sex every day?
NO but when we do it's wonderful and she no longer feels any pressure from me.
I wish you the very best of luck in your situation.

Answer 4

NO, that doesn't make you a bad wife. You need to have a talk with your husband about expectations, and be OK with the fact that he might be involved in some of those activities on a solo basis to meet his needs. Don't ever use sex as a ploy or a weapon, but it sounds like you aren't on the same page about this. And him putting pressure on you to perform more often most likely makes you want to do it less...leading to a viscious circle...

Answer 5

I am a husband, and I think it's almost impossible to have sex every day if both of your are working. Now vacation is a different story. So I don't think you a bad wife. I guess the avage is 3 times a week.

Answer 6

You are definitely in the wrong place. He's handling his sex drive else where from what you'll saying, so don't feel bad on that end. His degrading you only makes it more important for you to except that this is not what you want to live with especially for the rest of your life. Right now it's words he's using to hurt you, but once he finds out that you're not going to change, it may become physical. Fair warning, let him take care of his and you take care of yours (leave).

Answer 7

I believe the fact that you think that is awesome.

No, of course not. Someone who loves you would and should understand that you are not a machine but a person.

The use of the word sex makes me think that it is a duty and not a pleasure for you.

If you can make it love making and not sex then you might want to do it everyday.

But, you are a great wife for thinking that way. But, the answer is no. You should be feel guilty of anything like that.

Answer 8

What's wrong? Vaginal pain, dry and uncomfortable? Has menopause taken away your sex drive? Does he disgust you? Does his foreplay need improvement?

If one of the above is the problem, there is a viable solution, otherwise why would you neglect him love and attention that he can get elsewhere? Another question, did he used to get it every day? Is there a reason for the decrease? If it is, talk to him about it and get his input. Maybe he is willing to do whatever is necessary to get his sex kitten back.

Answer 9

I don't think it makes you a bad wife at all. Think of all we as wives and mothers do in a day. Everybody wants something from us and we rarely have a moment to ourselves. If my husband wants time to himself, he just locks himself in the bedroom and I can barely get 30 seconds to go to the bathroom. So, it's only natural to just not have the energy or desire for nightly romps. Still, it's a good point not to withhold sex from your husband. It shouldn't be a powerstruggle or punishment issue.

Answer 10

No, I don't think you are a bad person just because you don't have sex everyday. I think we need a break sometimes. I know I don't want sex everyday myself and I know I am a good person. And I think that if you wait a few days and then have sex then its better. For you have a few days to injoy each other just beening together doing things, and then when you do have sex again you will injoy it better. I know I do.