I am having a really difficult time.
You see, my wife and I have been together for over 2 years. We tried to have children early on but she could not coceive. I want children of my own. It was something we agreed on, planned for, and looked forward to.
The problem is that she medically cannot have children.
I would adopt, but I also want my own (related by blood) child. It's something I think most everyone wants.
How do I solve this dilemma?
2006-06-19 06:32:49 · 12 answers · asked by Phil M 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
am having a really difficult time.
You see, my wife and I have been together for over 2 years. We tried to have children early on but she could not coceive. I want children of my own. It was something we agreed on, planned for, and looked forward to.
The problem is that she medically cannot have children.
I would adopt, but I also want my own (related by blood) child. It's something I think most everyone wants.
How do I solve this dilemma?
P.S. I have not told her about my own feelings. I do not want her to feel any less of a woman or person. I am simply trying to find a way to tell her or some way around this.
Leaving is not an option. Never was.
2006-06-19 07:03:56 · update #1
what about a surrogate mother??? your sperm in another woman? your wife would have to be open to it.
2006-06-19 06:35:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are three ways to go about it. But remember love over rules the decision. True love in the perfect sense of it:
1. Donate your sperms and search for a surrogate mother (a lady who is ready to carry n bear your child for the pregnancy period). There are a few if you search.
P.S. Your wife will have to be open to this idea.
2. Adopt a kid if your wife thinks otherwise and is not getting convinced.
P.S. You will have to be open to this idea.
In both the above cases, understanding n adjustments are needed (Also sacrifice if you prefer to call it so). Thats why I mentioned LOVE at the start.
3. Get a thorough check done on her. Get a second or third opinion. I think a womb and the reproductory system can be repaired thru surgery. Check that and its cost.
2006-06-19 13:50:25 · answer #2 · answered by wildsavio 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAve you thought about your wife in any of this? I can only imagine what your poor wife is going through. She obviously wanted to have children as well and to be told that she can't. It must make her feel like half a woman, and then for you to go and say to her that you have to have a biological baby. I can't believe how egotistical and selfish you're being. Why is having a biological child so important. A child is a child and all children need love. Personally if I had you for a husband, I'd probably divorce you so you could find someone who can give you your blood children and I can find someone who will love me for me. ANd I think she should because she deserves better than you.
2006-06-19 13:58:55 · answer #3 · answered by married2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife did not know about her medical issues before the marriage, so, she's innocent to the circumstances. She hasn't cheated on you which is the only way by the Bible that a divorce will be condoned rightfully. So, try the surrogate mother option in which she would more than happily agree if you give her the choice to hold on to you and her marriage. She did marry you just to have kids, which is what it sounds like on your part, how sad.
2006-06-19 17:41:56 · answer #4 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on what state you live in Phil there are ways of doing this. You could look into a surrogate pregnancy. There are agencys out there that will match you up with someone who will carry the baby for you and upon delivery it's yours!
My wife did a surrogate pregnancy for a couple who also couldn't have a child because of a medical condition that his wife had.
He went through this agency and they matched him up with a female who donated her eggs, they used his sperm and then impregnated my wife who carried their child for them.
Upon the birth, they were there and able to watch their child being born! It was his child (related by blood) because they used his sperm!
If you have more questions about this, just e-mail me.
Good luck!
2006-06-19 13:40:44 · answer #5 · answered by Ekimo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, an interesting dillema you have there.
Ok, you may wanna try a couple of different routes here. If she cant concieve, talk to her about invitro fertilization. My sister in-law had it done, and it cost plenty $$$, but it is worth it. If that sorta thing is not the cards for you, maybe a surrogate mother. It really depends on your financial situation, and what you can afford. If money is an issue, you may wanna try adoption, perhaps a baby, one who has the traits you may be looking for. There are plenty of kids who need a good home.
2006-06-19 13:40:05 · answer #6 · answered by jeff the drunk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love and you guys want children then you should adopt or you could have a surrogate mother then the child will be your blood may be that will work!
2006-06-19 13:41:47 · answer #7 · answered by crazybutterfly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You accept the fact that she can't have children and stay with her. I can tell you want to go running. Part of marriage is called give and take. Not everything is meant to be or meant to happen. Love your wife and treasure her.
2006-06-19 13:34:54 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love your wife you will adopt with her. If not get a divorce and find someone that can give you children.
2006-06-19 13:35:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to pick between you wife and having a biological child. Wife is going to be pretty upset if you chose a kid over her.
2006-06-19 13:35:05 · answer #10 · answered by sweetie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adoption is the answer here or how about a seregate parent?
2006-06-19 13:36:42 · answer #11 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋