What should I do?

Question

I have been married for 17 years now and my husband and I have had problems throughout the marriage but now itis getting worse. He lies to me about everything and I can not handles it anymore. I am looking for a job but it is hard because he has 2 full time jobs and we only have 1 vehicle. I am wanting my own car to make it easier so I can get a job and get out. My question is, how long should I wait after we seperate for me to file for a divorce? Is there a number of days that I have to wait? An no, I have already tried to work it out, it is not going to work.

Answer 1

I think you need to find a divorce lawyer and consult with him.

To the best of my knowledge you do not need to wait a certain number of days to file for a divorce. Here is a website that can give you information based on which state you live in:
http://www.cyberstation.net/paralegal/divorce/

You sound like your mind is made up and you've tried what you could to make it work. I'm saddened to hear about your failed marriage but I wish you luck and courge as you try to make a new life for yourself. It's not easy sometimes for a woman to stand up for herself. Congratulations on taking these first few steps.

Answer 2

You don't have to wait if your wanting a divorce now. The only thing that will take a while is if he does contest it.You can check to see if there is a bus around your house and ride the bus to work.I've been there before and the first thing I did was get a job before I left,then when I knew that I would have a little money for myself I did leave.I filed right there after.Make sure you take care of yourself and I hope you can find something that you can have a little bit of financial security but you will be allright and be strong cause it might take a little bit for you to get settled but once you get in the frame of mind that you can do it,you will be able to.

Answer 3

Do you have any money saved up that you can get a decent car until you get on your feet to get a newer car? If so do that if not use public transportation to go to job interviews. As far as how long you need to be separated before you can get a divorce you may need to consult a lawyer on that one to make sure you wait the allowable time.

Answer 4

17 years is long enough to know your husband. what is he lying about? why all the lying?could there be any reason why he's doing so?
bring back the magic which worked your relationship 10 years ago: an open line. talk things out, there's no point for you asking for opinions if you haven't sort things out. maybe it's all about you and not him, his job nor the car...
and divorce is not the solution either...TRY to resolve the problem, find solution, work on it to keep your 17 years going for yet another year or years...

Answer 5

My advise to you is not to be so quick to file for a divorce unless you see that it will benefit you other than the fact that legally you would be single. Reason being..........you put in 17 years of you life with this man. I don't know if you guys have children or not but remember as his WIFE, you are entitled to certain benefits. Such as........you and your children are entitled to monies if God forbid something happens to him (Life Insurance), the fact that you are not currently working but in the process of getting back your independence as a woman, you will need him. Stay long enough to get what you need. See if you can get him to work out something with you getting your own vehicle (Auction.....very cheap) so that you can start living for you.

Don't give what you worked so hard for for 17 years to another woman. If it comes down to the two of you living in separate homes, and he starts dealing with another woman, as his wife you and your children are entitle to all of his assets. I know what I am saying may sound like words of a "Gold-Digger", but we are grown here. Let's not let our emotions cause us to make a terrible mistake especially since you are not on your feet yet.

REAL WOMEN DO REAL THINGS..............Think about it.

Answer 6

Okay, i'm not sure about the whole divorce thing as i've never been divorced, but i might have a solution to your car problem. i've come to learn that a lot of companies will pay for you to get a car if you tell them they can put their logo on the car. say you call ford or something like that and tell them that you want a 2006 focus and you're willing to let them put their logo on the back of the car. you'll have to sign a contract for a certain amount of years that you have to have the sign on, but at the end of the contract, the car is yours and they pay for the sign to come off. just something to consider!

Answer 7

Most lawyers ask that you separate for at least a year. You can stick it out. If you have a driver's license, try checking into zip cars. These are low rate community rental cars. Gas, insurance is provided, you just have to have a clean drivers license and you can have access to it for as long as you need it. Zipcars.com.

Answer 8

You can file the day you move out but you don't necessarily have to be out of the house to file for divorce. Call an attorney in your area or call the clerk's office for specific information to your area.

Answer 9

Your man sounds like a real a rse, i think quicker the better, stick 2 fingers up at him and get your life going again, get yourself a nice little car and a good job and watch him suffer, let him see what he is missing, this will hurt him the most.

Answer 10

You can file immidiately but the court waits I think 30 days after separation. AND YOU SHOULD FILE FOR DIVORCE AND NOT WAIT. Why wait? You know you dont want that naymore