Should you have settled down and know what your doing by your 30?

Question

Anyhow .. i am the big 3-0 next month, and basically my 20s have been a bit random. I got a PhD and have worked in South Korea and NZ, but not much of a career structure or community... so I am taking a job near my hometown. Should you keep on doing random things when you get older, or just fit them into weekends. Did the big 3-0, come to a shock to anyone else, or is it easy to accept. I'm basically single, useless at DIY and still live like a stewdunt.

Answer 1

take it easy 30 is a turning point you can start over and all will be forgiven

Answer 2

I've noticed among a lot of my friends that we all grew up expecting our life to work out a certain way. Then all the sudden we were in our late twenties and nothing worked out like we had planned. I was 29, on my third career change, living alone and still trying to make ends meet. I wasn't married, with kids and working on a successful writing career like I always thought I would be.

I've noticed the same among all of my other friends. In general, I think people are marrying later (and some not at all) and our careers are a lot less stable than, say our parents' careers were. I started calling it the twenty-something syndrome - the panic experienced by my friends in their late 20s when they realized that they didn't have the house with the white picket fence and the 2.5 kids that they always thought they would have.

I had a hard time reconciling this until I realized that the secret to being happy was to throw that life's plan out the window and just live my life.

Right now I am 31 (and actually married) but I have no idea if I want to have kids, change careers again or even know what I want to be when I "grow up."

My advice is life your life and don't worry about the master plan. As long as you are paying the bills and able to support yourself - do what makes you happy. Follow your heart and it will lead you in the right direction. Anyone that tells you different is probably jealous.

I did also notice that turning 30 gave me this amazing thing - a backbone. All the sudden I could look at my mom when she was telling me not to do something and say "Mom, I'm 30 years old!" For some reason that magic number made me an adult in my parents eyes.

At age 30 - you're old enough to know better and young enough to do it anyway :)

Answer 3

I turned 30 last year. Being 31 was actually more shocking this year. Now I am not "30" or even "29, Again". Now I am "in my 30's"... wow. Talk about feeling old!!! You should settle down when you feel ready. Do you mean marriage, kids, house with a white picket fence? It'll come. Do you mean a job with a time clock and a cranky boss? IF that is what you want, then you sound like you are certainly qualified to be doing that gig. Do what makes you happy! The most important thing is being able to wake up every morning, happy to be alive and looking forward to the day. If that isn't the case for you, then you need to be doing SOMETHING different.

Answer 4

No way man! I'm not saying 'do your own thing', but that is the way the cards fall sometimes. You 30 and single, so what? I know of a few 30 and married who would trade places.
You just haven't found 'the one'. Its a not big deal, just statistics. We are all different.
So, your obviously educated, travelled etc...you'll likely meet another gem, and I'm sure you will both have a great time sharing the lives you've both had over a nice bottle of red.
But...........my Danish girlfriend tells me that if your single and 30, they (your friends etc) will give you pepper in every form to indicate to all exactly what we are talking about. And not just little red peppers, they goto lengths such as a 4-foot high concrete-shaped pepper mill on your doorstep (so you can't really move it at all).
Sounds funny to me, but it just goes to show there are many who are thinking just like you.
Not to worry...as long as you don't spell and act like a 'stewdunt' too....
...or would that be a bad thing after all?
He he.

Answer 5

Just be yourself and do whatever you have to to pay the bills. If what you do gives you job satisfaction -then that is great. Don't worry too much about living your life to a timetable as dictated by tv sit-coms or mass-market advertising. Caesar Augustus was written off by society in his thirties, he was considered a bit of a girl's blouse and a waste of space. In his forties he conquered Gaul and became ruler of one of the world's biggest empires. Don't limit your horizons - and don't run-down your "random things". Einstein worked on his theories of relativity whenever he had a bit of time while he was working in an office as a patents clerk. If he hadn't had such an undemanding job he probably would have been too tired to do his "random things". Be yourself - no matter what they say.

Answer 6

Yes, you should know what you want to do when you are 30. Don't get married any time soon. You are jumping around with jobs and your personal life would be probably the same. Find out whats makes you happy. Then stick to it. Anyone with your education will be great at any thing he puts his hand on.

Answer 7

Sounds like you've done some interesting things - and that's great! Don't worry about it too much. I'm in my early 30s and although I am doing the whole mortgage, proper job thing - I still might change again. The fact that you are thinking about it shows that you are mature of mind. Enjoy life!

Answer 8

Hi,when i turned 30 i never give it a thought.My advice be yourself
your as old as you feel.Go out & celebrate in student style.Have a
Lovely Birthday

Answer 9

I say have fun until you are ready to stop. Get in all the experiences you can now. Once you settle down and start your own family you can't go back!

Answer 10

age is just a number. live your life like your 19. you never get old in your head